Blah, blah and more blah.
Good news! The Similac Alimentum works so well with Alayna. She hasn't vomited all day, and she is much happier, much more alert, and just overall better. It makes me so happy to see her like that! :) I was so upset when she was hurting & crying from the reflux. :( I just felt like I wanted to take that pain & discomfort for her.
I got a letter from my birth mother tonight. She said that she was, "Giving up on me." because I haven't contacted her in a few weeks. Honestly, I've been writing her a letter for weeks now, but because of Alayna being in the hospital and all of the formula problems and just dealing with my depression, it's tough. Very tough and time consuming. My mother called her tonight for me and told her that I wasn't ignoring her, etc... I asked my mom to do it because I was taking care of Alayna and I know if my mom didn't call tonight, I'd keep forgetting and putting it on the back burner when I know its something I need to do. The phone has been so unfamiliar to me now. lol Especially since Alayna's been sick with the formula problems. I jsut had no time to talk to anyone at all, you know? Except the doctor. lol
I just wish my birth mom knew how much what she said in her letter hurt me. I'm going to write her a letter and express how much. She doesn't understand how much I prayed to God every night, as a child, that I'd know her in the future. How much I wondered who she was, the hell I went through wondering until I found out. I don't think anyone can know until they experienced it. But then again I can see her side. She went through hell wondering if her daughter was ok and stuff. I can definitely see her side of things. I can see that she got aggrivated and wonered if I wanted to know her or what...but I was just busy with my daughter. I feel bad that I didn't get a chance to contact her sooner, but I just got tied up around here. I mean, even though I don't know my birth mom, I love her. Same thing with my siblings. I don't know them that well, but I still love them. I've always loved them. All of my birth family.
I just have to say something. Alayna is starting to take on her own individual look now instead of looking like a normal newborn. She's also starting to resemble people now. She has traits of both mine and her father's (My nose, my eyes...his hair, his smile/lips, his height, his "build" - skinny, etc...) Well, I noticed today when we were out today, that she somewhat resembles her Aunt Julie. I swear to GOD she resembles his sister. That's a good thing because his sister is pretty, so...lol
Here she looks like his sister; her Aunt Julie.
This was taken the day before Halloween
My friend sent me a few links today about this reality show on FOX. Maybe I've been in a shell, but I haven't heard anything about this, so... but I am very angry. This is what a website says about it.
Fox heard the outrage over the reality show "Who's Your Daddy?" and their response is to do a sequel! "Who's Your Mommy?" Is the same premise as before, except this time two women will have to pick out their birth mothers from a panel of eight women. If they can, it'll be worth up to 100-thousand dollars. Watch for it November 25th.
I was adopted and let me tell you, it's no reality show meeting your birth family. I met my birth family in 2003 and to be honest, it's very emotional. I wouldn't want it aired on TV!! And I certainly wouldn't say it's a "reality game". I paid money to meet my birth family, and these people are GETTING PAID to GUESS?! C'mon! I mean, seriously. I don't think this is right at all. I would never do this!! It really enrages me. It seems like people are taking adoption & reuniting so lightly when it's really not something to take lightly!
This is a very good article about the first show, "Who's Your Daddy". (Even though I didn't see it, it still enrages me.)
Fox TV is under pressure to abandon a scheduled adoption gameshow, <-- Is what one website says. C'mon. ADOPTION GAMESHOW? That's completely wrong & very very "joking" about adoption. Doesn't anyone take it seriously?!
"By turning adoption reunions into a game show, Who's Your Daddy? takes an intensely personal and complex situation ... and transforms it into a voyeuristic display," Ms Capone told Reuters. <-- I strongly agree. It shouldn't be a voyeuristic display! It's completely shit. I'm sorry, it's shit.
It disgusts me.