So, I just wrote this huge entry about how this holiday is going to suck because my family is fucking carzy, that I wish certain people would fall off the face of the earth and that I have found my old baseball bat and now carry it around in case someone decides they want to get bashed in the fucking face. Sigh. So, yeah, things are not peachy. ( Read more... )

So, I got home in the afternoon yesterday, went into my room and found a used condom. Great. I screamed and kicked it into the bathroom where it has been sitting for the past thirty some hours. I hate stepbrothers who have sex in your room hate them hate them. Oh! And I broke an 80 year old glass that Barbabra got in Italy. Awesome! Managed to ( Read more... )

I refuse to believe that you don't remember what you did.

 So, I've learned over this short vacation the following things:
-I shouldn't say the following around my mother: 'Fuck, fucking hell, fucking shit, fucking fuck fuck, fuck me, I need a fucking cigarette, I need a fucking drink, I can't wait to get the fuck out of here'. She has threatened to hit my 14 times already. And no, that is not a record.
-I ( Read more... )

So, I usually dread any event that requires my family being in the same room at once. Were there drunks? Of course. Rehashed memories from twenty years ago when one aunt sleep with another's boyfriend? Indeed. But this Thanksgiving Shaggy came over and...it was great. I don't know if great is the right word or if there is even a word to express how ( Read more... )

 When did I become a secrets jar? It seems like everyone and I do mean EVERYONE is telling me shit that don't want to know. You like who? You fucked who and then who's friend? Your pregnant but don't have the faintest idea who the father is? Thanks. All of you, for making my life harder than it needs to be. If you have a secret, keep it a secret ( Read more... )

"So, what did you do today?"
"Went to brunch, watched some of The Office and learned to write in Elvish."
"What now?"
"What?"
"You learned how to write in Elvish?"
"Yeah."
"Like Tolkein Elvish?"
"...maybe."
"Like Arwin and shit?"
"...possibly."
"Why couldn't I have a super cool kid who sets shit on fire or defaces mailboxes."
"Would you really want me to do ( Read more... )

The word 'panties' keeps on popping up in my mind. Unpacking my clothes-'panties'. Shopping for a shower curtain- 'panties'. Maybe I need some more? I wonder which word will be making a frequent trip into the wonderful place that is my brain next.

I really don't want to have to pack two suitcases because my dumbass bought to many clothes while I was here. I was standing in the middle of my room a minute ago, unable to see the floor because of all my fucking clothes and in response to the challenge of having to pack all of that shit, not mention washing them before they are packed, I went ( Read more... )

So, I was supposed to go a date with this guy Toby who I met throguh some family members. Which was exciting at first, but then he started being kinda creepy. Well, maybe not creepy. But really intense, I guess. He would invite me to sit in his car with him to listen to music or "unexpectedly" show up at places that I would be, which would lead to ( Read more... )