failure by this design
secondary school is the worst experience any free thinking human can go through. i hate it i hate it i hate it. and this school is all dark and the classrooms are so small and i feel like i am in an instution without water and some way out. i get so anxious and i can't stand it. but i have friends in most of my classes, well actually no, only 2 classes do i have friends, but that is to change soon. since i barely know anyone, i just walked up to this girl and i was like "will you be my friend?" and she said sure and she is cool. physics, orchestra, precalc, us/az hist, lunch, spanish ap, english. this reaks of delayed, boring self- mutilation. can i take another year of this? i don't know, i would drop out if it wouldn't break my mom's heart and it wouldn't completely destroy my dreams of doing anything worth-while in this world. and i already have some assignments. i have to write a poem, find an article, and read a short story and dammit it is only my first day. and it is really cool, you can leave for lunch and most people eat outside by the football field or in the front lawn. how cliche is that? anyways, do you want to hear my bio poem, i basically have to just fill in the blanks, it is like (first name) student of --------- who fears____who loves_____ who values_____ i don't know, it is ridiculous, and i have to read it in front of the class. i will not bore you with the simplicity of it any longer. swimming is the only thing keeping me slightly content. it has saved my life in ways i could not even imagine. that sounded so korny. anyways, i have prac tomorrow morning and my dad is being a bitch about taking me. he is saying it is all stressful to get up and take me. all he has to do is sit in the passenger seat and be there while i do all the hard work. i wonder if he even thought about what he said, i am the one doing the swimming and i am the one who is going to school, and working. i have the job, he sits on his ass all day and mooches off my mom. wow, the period must be coming soon, i can feel all the emotions rushing to my thighs. i gotta go write that damn poem now, so later.