lost myself in an endless goodnight... not really
k, well, tonight could have been better, it had every potential in the world... but some people aren't as willing to do some of the same things for me that i am, or that i even have done for them, at least i thought they were, but selfishness got in the way, it could have been good, great, something unexpected happened, and i totally could have had something possibly that i've wanted for a long time, it was so close, i could almost taste it... now i don't know, i'm possibly just talking. i almost died this morning, it made me think, you know, how many people would this death affect? i was driving to swim practice at 5:15 this very morning, and was turning, as i had a green light when someone who had a red light traveling on an opposite street was speeding by, i suppose not recognizing the street light? and had i not slown down more than i normally did that time, that fucker would have t-boned me on my side, resulting in my death, i couldn't see their street, cause it was being blocked my houses and walls, but, i just don't understand what people are thinking sometimes, i was so close to death, it was ridiculous. i can't even imagine what some of my close ones would do, like- how would they react. what would my mom do? it makes you think, you know, like, maybe it wouldn't be so bad for you, cause you were supposedly going to a better place, but what about everyone else? living without you, or, i don't know, just the people that mean so much to me, that i don't know what i would even do if something happened to them... how would i react. i wouldn't know how to unless it happened, but yeah. i wish someone could have followed through tonight.