progress and thoughts
Ah, the pieces may be falling into place on the new house finally. Part of the problem with the bank is that I am being used as the primary borrower because (hold on, now) my credit is better than Michael’s. We add him in at the closing, I guess. Good grief, talk about creative financing. I barely make enough to support myself, let alone the kids still at home, the spouse, and a house in the middle of the Mojave. I don’t get this money stuff. Good reason I’ve never been able to accumulate any. The bank sent a new list of requirements to our finance guy - which we emailed and faxed off to him today. It’s possible we’ll close on Monday evening or Tuesday.
I’m now finding the whole thing weirdly ironic. My hardworking man who has busted his butt for the last three decades supporting this family, at the price of spending his workdays locked on a corporate treadmill, the sole financial support of ten people and their little piece of property, so that we could keep one parent home with the kids on our little dream-farm, needs to have *me* cleaned up as primary borrower for us to get this house? Everyone knows he's the main wage earner right now. So this is the New American Dream?
Our former idyllic existence in some ways was a house of cards. Some ways. Not in all ways. Not the kids, not on your life. Not the unschooling. Not the dream itself. It was a financial house of cards, for sure. Our fault? I keep hearing that. But what kind of a system is this, which makes it such a struggle to allow one parent to take time off to be with the kids if that is what the parents want? It’s a thin thread, indeed, here for many of us.
On the other hand, I'm thankful now that I have work and that it's work that feels worth doing. I am a bit afraid of how much time I'll be away from the five youngest kids in days to come. This is not an easy walk to balance.