*groans*

Nov 19, 2008 19:43

Mind is too stuffed with anger and annoyance and sheer despair that no post can be formulated tonight. Other than this post, that is.

I need to quit this job, damn it. Any advice on quitting/parting speeches, flist? I don't know if it's a good business/career decision or not, I just know it's sucking all the joy from my life even when I'm not there, and I've felt like crying all month even when it's not hormone related. It's not like the soul-sucking properties of school, or even anywhere close school-level stress. It's just.. the most underachieving meaningless useless job I have ever had, where the bosses treat me like ugly furniture or completely ignore what I do and attribute it to someone else.

I have put my eyes on February as my quitting month, but I don't know if I'll make it so far. The prospect of having to explain to at least 5 people that I want to quit because no one can actually figure out who is my direct boss is is making this even harder. Should I be honest? Should I give them my insight on to why the department has so many problems? Should I not explain myself and just tell them I'm leaving (maybe 'for personal reasons')? I don't know how to quit, and I'm kind of hoping they'll fire me this December/January (either that or don't hire me again when my temporary contract ends in early December), but.. I know that's just me hoping for the easiest way out for me. I know I can get another job once I get out of there, I don't think that would be too hard, and I have a standing offer with my office ex-roomate. The thing is.. how do I actually extract myself out of this situation? Should I hold out? I thought that once I decided I *was* quitting and not *if* I was quitting I would feel relief and detachment, kind of like when you (ahem) decide you're killing yourself and the relief makes everything better/lighter for a bit. But it hasn't really made me feel any better.. I fear they'll find a way to not let me go now that I have decided to go, or that they'll try to convince me to stay, or that.. something will go *right* and I will have to stay. And that this will suck me in like a black hole that I will never be able to scape again.

Man, dad is going to throw a fit when I tell him I'm quitting. It's such a *safe* job. Not stable -I'm continuously threatened to be fired, which is one of the reasons it's hard to feel motivated, because it has nothing to do with me or my performance- but safe, and with good benefits, and well paid.

It's just that I hate it.

rant, nablopomo

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