(no subject)
1. What’s your sexual orientation?
Prefer vaginas to penises, but no preference between men and women. Go with "bisexual" because this is easier than getting into a discussion.
2. Tell me a secret?
This one time when I was a kid one of my friends talked me into stealing bubblegum from a shop, and then I made her go on a three mile walk through spooky-ass woods. Guess which my mother was more angry with me about.
3. Why do you like the person you like?
I like more than one person dear god I am not THAT big a misanthropist.
4. Are you a virgin? If so, what have you done?
No.
5. What’s a fetish of yours?
I have many. The most widely-broadcast are: fraternal incest, blood, asphyxia, punching, collars, hair-pulling, and crap like that.
6. Five turn ons?
Well you could pick from the list above.
7. Five turn offs?
Passivity/indifference, hallitosis, self-conscious attempts to Be Sexy, obvious signs of infection, mood-killing levels of concern about scars.
8. One of your insecurities?
I AM SHIT AT SEX AND REALLY UNATTRACTIVE AND PEOPLE ONLY EVER SLEEP WITH ME BECAUSE THEY FEEL THEY HAVE TO.
9. Do you watch porn?
Do I EVER.
10. What was your last sexual thought?
Well I was rereading over that one TTSS fic where Peter torments Ricki by repeatedly rubbing the infected wound on his hand, so I imagine it was related to that.
11. What was your last sexual experience?
Me and my hand, pick any moment between August and now.
12. Do you masturbate?
Please see previous answer. I am fat and ugly and repell people like we're both positively-charged, my options are either "masturbation" or "serial murder".
13. Have you ever been in love?
Yes.
14. Single or taken?
Taken. Open to further offers. Which I won't get, due to aforementioned fatuglyawfulness.
15. What’s your best feature?
I will sit here and smoke an imaginary cigarette (since Lindsay has gone AWOL with the real ones) while I wait for my brain to render unto me the likelihood that I have any features that aren't repugnant.
16. Strange talents?
"Any talents".
17. Virgins: How do you want to lose it? Non-virgins: How did you?
I have issues with the notion of virginity as a "one time and you'll lose it" deal, particularly the way my early sex life played out. The version of events I usually tell people rather than bothering to explain things is that I got wrecked a party with my then-boyfriend, we went to bed, there is a large blank spot in my memory, he went to dispose of a used condom with a slightly harrowed look, I passed out, and came to mostly-naked with a friend from classes vomiting quietly at the foot of the other bed. So fairly normal.
18. Ever sexted?
Outside of when Anarki was working for a sexline and we used to take it in turns composing "sexy" text messages while on mushrooms, no.
19. Your best sexual experience?
For some fucking reason the majority of the really good ones have also involved people who I would now rather not remember, but there is one that stands out and it involved a collar and some kneeling and some really GROSS noises on my part and yes anyway.
20. Your worst sexual experience?
IDK pick any of the ones I didn't actually consent to, or the ones where people just upped and decided they couldn't stand me in the middle of it, or this one time where I basically got thrown out of a threesome and had to sit in a hallway naked and drunk outside a locked door. GOOD TIMES. Sadly the way my life has panned out, there's been a lot more bad sex than good sex or even mediocre sex.
21. How many people have you hooked up with?
I think it's just edging to 60-ish now. Imagine what I could achieve if I didn't look like oversized slimemould.
22. What would you rate yourself 1-10?
Minus forty.
Prefer vaginas to penises, but no preference between men and women. Go with "bisexual" because this is easier than getting into a discussion.
2. Tell me a secret?
This one time when I was a kid one of my friends talked me into stealing bubblegum from a shop, and then I made her go on a three mile walk through spooky-ass woods. Guess which my mother was more angry with me about.
3. Why do you like the person you like?
I like more than one person dear god I am not THAT big a misanthropist.
4. Are you a virgin? If so, what have you done?
No.
5. What’s a fetish of yours?
I have many. The most widely-broadcast are: fraternal incest, blood, asphyxia, punching, collars, hair-pulling, and crap like that.
6. Five turn ons?
Well you could pick from the list above.
7. Five turn offs?
Passivity/indifference, hallitosis, self-conscious attempts to Be Sexy, obvious signs of infection, mood-killing levels of concern about scars.
8. One of your insecurities?
I AM SHIT AT SEX AND REALLY UNATTRACTIVE AND PEOPLE ONLY EVER SLEEP WITH ME BECAUSE THEY FEEL THEY HAVE TO.
9. Do you watch porn?
Do I EVER.
10. What was your last sexual thought?
Well I was rereading over that one TTSS fic where Peter torments Ricki by repeatedly rubbing the infected wound on his hand, so I imagine it was related to that.
11. What was your last sexual experience?
Me and my hand, pick any moment between August and now.
12. Do you masturbate?
Please see previous answer. I am fat and ugly and repell people like we're both positively-charged, my options are either "masturbation" or "serial murder".
13. Have you ever been in love?
Yes.
14. Single or taken?
Taken. Open to further offers. Which I won't get, due to aforementioned fatuglyawfulness.
15. What’s your best feature?
I will sit here and smoke an imaginary cigarette (since Lindsay has gone AWOL with the real ones) while I wait for my brain to render unto me the likelihood that I have any features that aren't repugnant.
16. Strange talents?
"Any talents".
17. Virgins: How do you want to lose it? Non-virgins: How did you?
I have issues with the notion of virginity as a "one time and you'll lose it" deal, particularly the way my early sex life played out. The version of events I usually tell people rather than bothering to explain things is that I got wrecked a party with my then-boyfriend, we went to bed, there is a large blank spot in my memory, he went to dispose of a used condom with a slightly harrowed look, I passed out, and came to mostly-naked with a friend from classes vomiting quietly at the foot of the other bed. So fairly normal.
18. Ever sexted?
Outside of when Anarki was working for a sexline and we used to take it in turns composing "sexy" text messages while on mushrooms, no.
19. Your best sexual experience?
For some fucking reason the majority of the really good ones have also involved people who I would now rather not remember, but there is one that stands out and it involved a collar and some kneeling and some really GROSS noises on my part and yes anyway.
20. Your worst sexual experience?
IDK pick any of the ones I didn't actually consent to, or the ones where people just upped and decided they couldn't stand me in the middle of it, or this one time where I basically got thrown out of a threesome and had to sit in a hallway naked and drunk outside a locked door. GOOD TIMES. Sadly the way my life has panned out, there's been a lot more bad sex than good sex or even mediocre sex.
21. How many people have you hooked up with?
I think it's just edging to 60-ish now. Imagine what I could achieve if I didn't look like oversized slimemould.
22. What would you rate yourself 1-10?
Minus forty.