Glee-Fic: Changes, Chapter Two (Finn/Kurt)
Title: Changes
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Chapter: 2/?
Word Count: 2873
Spoilers: Up to the end of season one
Summary: Finn’s still trying to make up for what he said, but Kurt’s colder to him than ever. And he’d do pretty much anything to change that. Story starts here.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I'm done with them. :)
Changes
Chapter Two
“No. Absolutely, positively not. Quinn, darling, you’re a beautiful girl, but green just isn’t your color,” Kurt shook his head. “Stick with summery tones; you look lovely in yellow; pink; baby blue…that purple dress you had was magnificent,” Kurt added. “But no, hunter green is not for you.”
“I agree,” Mercedes chimed in. “And listen to my man, he’s a genius.”
“Thank you,” Kurt preened. “Honestly, Quinn, you’re gorgeous. You don’t need any help, but if you want me to advise you, I’ll certainly oblige.”
“I appreciate it,” Quinn told him honestly with a shy smile. “And…I took your advice. Back when we were trying to pull one over on Rachel? About the double-knit camisoles? It was great.”
“I know, hon,” Kurt patted her hand. “Now…” he scanned the shelves and pulled out a sundress. “Try that one on.”
“Okay,” she took it and twirled into the dressing room, the curtain swishing gently shut behind her.
“So, you’ve got something on your mind, my man,” Mercedes glanced at him sideways and Kurt regarded her coolly.
“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yesterday you were mega-depressed, Kurt. And now today you’re walking on air. What’s up?”
“Can I trust you?” Kurt glanced around, already knowing that Mercedes wouldn’t blab if he asked her not to.
“With anything,” she assured him.
“Okay,” he dropped his voice to a whisper. “Finn and I…kind of made out last night.”
“No way!” she shrieked, and Kurt shushed her quickly. “What? How?”
“I don’t even know,” Kurt was forced to admit. “I just told him that I’d never kissed a guy, and he offered, and…” he shrugged helplessly. “We were making out. It was hot.”
“Boy, you better hope Rachel doesn’t decide to give you what for,” Mercedes looked awed.
“We’re not speaking of it,” Kurt reminded her. “But he…he stayed with me all night, and we were…kind of cuddling this morning.”
“Does he like you?” she hissed, incredulous.
“No. At least, no more than a close friend. We’re just…more comfortable around each other recently, and that’s all it’ll ever be. And I’m not delusional enough to think it’ll ever be more,” he added sadly.
“But it was good?”
“Oh, honey, it was incredible. And he didn’t even try to pretend he didn’t like it. But I respect Rachel too much to go behind her back, and I’ve told him that. If he wants me…really wants me…then he has to call it quits with her,” Kurt explained as Quinn twirled back out. “Oh, darling, you’re wonderful!”
She grinned at him and he gushed over her some more, although Mercedes wasn’t quite so enthusiastic, obviously thinking about everything Kurt had said to her.
000
Both parties were surprised when they ran into each other in the movie theatre lobby, but Finn dragged Rachel over regardless and blabbed that they were all going to the same movie so they should all go together!
Rachel looked less than impressed with his impulsive decision but, to her credit, didn’t question it, and soon they were seated in the theater.
“Kurt just wants to watch Jake Gyllenhaal shirtless,” Mercedes opined, and Kurt laughed nervously.
“Oh, honey, like that’s even an excuse!” he exclaimed. “And Quinn wants to see that, too.”
“I’m not going to argue,” Quinn shook her head.
“Oh. I’m just here for the fight scenes,” Finn spoke up.
“Typical boy. Give you people hacking each other to pieces, you’re happy,” Kurt muttered, trying not to squawk when Finn ruffled his hair.
The movie was entertaining, and Kurt was getting his fill of eye-candy, but he noticed that Finn had an arm around Rachel and soon that preoccupied all of his thoughts. At one point Rachel left to use the washroom, and Finn hesitated for a second before laying a hand on Kurt’s knee, glancing sideways at him. Kurt leaned his head on Finn’s shoulder and closed his eyes briefly, smiling as Finn’s arm came around him and ran up and down his arm.
Kurt chanced a glance at Mercedes and Quinn, but thankfully they were both engrossed in the movie and not looking. “Hey, man. You were looking a little down.”
“Thank you,” Kurt said truthfully, pulling away as Rachel bounced back in and resumed her spot, snuggling close to Finn. Kurt kept his hands to himself and consoled himself with watching hot, shirtless men, and they went out for a late night snack after the movie had finished before going their separate ways. Rachel wanted Finn to come home with her as her two dads were out of town for some work thing, but Finn took one look at Kurt and declined her offer.
“Thanks, Rach, but Kurt and I ‘ve gotta get home. Mom and Burt will wonder where we are,” Finn shrugged. “Maybe another night.”
“Yes. Of course,” Rachel nodded enthusiastically before standing on her tiptoes and kissing Finn noisily. Kurt resisted the urge to gag.
“We’d better be off, too,” Quinn jumped in, causing them to break apart. “It’s been fun, though. We’ll see you all Monday,” she waved perkily, dragging Mercedes away.
“Alright, then. Goodnight, Finn; Kurt,” Rachel nodded to them and bounced down the street, leaving Finn and Kurt to ride home together.
“C’mon,” Finn started toward his car and Kurt followed, staying a few feet behind him the entire time. “Hurry up, man.”
Kurt walked faster, sliding into the passenger’s seat, but he was completely unprepared for Finn to grab him by his (designer) shirt and kiss him feverishly. “Finn…Finn, what are you…mmph…oh, God…doing?”
“Please,” Finn breathed, and Kurt gave up trying to rationalize it and just let himself go along with it, shoving his tongue into Finn’s mouth and climbing into his lap, grinding their hips together as Finn gasped and moaned into his mouth.
Kurt could tell when it was getting to be too much and he pulled back, not wanting this to go any farther than it had. Finn’s eyes were wide and he was panting shallowly, looking amazed, and Kurt bet he didn’t look much better off.
“Wow,” Finn whispered. “Just…I’m so confused, Kurt…”
“What is it, sweetie?” Kurt ran his fingers through Finn’s hair, smoothing it down. “What’s wrong?”
“This…I…I want you. So badly,” Finn sighed. “More than I want Rachel, but I know that in the long run she’s going to be best for me. You and me have something incredible, Kurt, but it’s not going to last, and I don’t want it to jeopardize our friendship. Plus with our parents dating it’s just kinda weird.”
“I understand,” Kurt got off of Finn and buckled himself into the passenger seat.
“But that was hot, right?”
“Extremely,” Kurt assured Finn with a tiny smile. “But I get what you’re saying and you’re right; it would be a little strange for us to pursue a relationship.”
“Yeah. That,” Finn agreed, starting the car and pulling out from the parking stall.
000
He realized, when they were getting ready for bed later, that kissing Kurt was kind of a dick move.
Yeah, he obviously felt something for him…he was still convinced that it was just because Kurt was willing to go farther than Rachel or Quinn and he was taking advantage of that. He kinda wondered if Kurt would go all the way with him because he made it seem like it but he really couldn’t see Kurt just having sex to have sex (he realized that, before Santana, he didn’t really see himself as the type of guy to have sex just to have sex, so maybe he wasn’t the best judge.)
Speaking of which, he thought as he lay back, did Kurt even think about sex? He talked about it with the guys on the team all the time but Kurt had never really said anything about it, and Kurt may be gay but he was still a teenage boy, right? So he obviously had to have the same stuff happen to his body that any other guy did, and…
He looked up as Kurt came out of the washroom, dressed in pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt that fell distractingly off of one shoulder, and decided to ask him.
He’d probably regret it later, but he was kinda curious.
“Hey, Kurt?”
“Mm?” Kurt asked absently, digging through his nightstand for something.
“If I asked you, would you have sex with me?”
And Kurt turned around so fast Finn swore he woulda, like, pulled a muscle in his neck or something. “Please tell me you didn’t ask me what I just thought you asked me,” he rubbed his ears like he’d heard wrong and stared at Finn, wide-eyed. “Please.”
“It’s not a gay thing,” Finn promised, raising his hands. “It’s just…me ‘n the guys talk about it all the time and it’s like you’re one of those plants or something…like…I know you like me but it’s not sexual, right? You’re like…”
“Asexual?” Kurt raised an eyebrow, looking a little more under control, and Finn nodded.
“Yeah.”
“I’m not asexual, Finn,” Kurt promised with a tiny smile. “Some people reach maturity later than others, and I’m willing to bet that, if you truly got the truth out of your friends on the football team, at least a few of them are merely saying what they do so the rest of you won’t tease them. And really,” he sat on the bed, one foot pulled up under him and the other dangling to the floor, the tips of his toes just touching the carpet, “with you and Santana, could you honestly tell me you were ready?”
“No,” Finn said instantly. “But, I mean, I still want sex. Not all the time, but it’s not like I think about it and I get grossed out, and I kinda think you do,” he said, and Kurt looked afraid for a moment before he crossed the floor, shy and uncertain until Finn grabbed his wrist and pulled him down onto his lap. “Kurt?”
“I appreciate you trying to talk to me as ‘one of the guys,’ Finn, but you have to realize that what interests you and your jock friends really doesn’t hold my attention. So you don’t need to talk to me about it,” he was tense in Finn’s lap, so different from how relaxed and comfortable he seemed there just that morning.
“Yeah, but…” Finn wondered if he should ask what he wanted to and, in the end, decided that it wasn’t going to hurt. “So you…you never think about sex? Just, like, kissing and stuff?”
“I don’t understand the appeal,” Kurt huffed, his bangs falling in his eyes. “I just…it’s so intimate and open and I’m not…comfortable baring myself in that way. I don’t know if I could.”
“Dude, you have to have jerked off!” Finn exclaimed, probably too loudly if the way Kurt shushed him was any indication. “Sorry. But it’s totally normal! And it feels great; I mean, that’s why people have sex, right?”
“No,” Kurt said, pressing a finger to his lips. “I haven’t. And yes, I’ll admit that I’ve had wet dreams, but I’ve never consciously brought myself to climax. As I said, I’ve never needed to.”
“So, what turns you on, then?” Finn just couldn’t fathom somebody never having sexual urges. Not when you were a sixteen or seventeen-year-old guy; it just didn’t make any sense.
“I’m…not talking about that,” Kurt said evasively, trying to get up as Finn held him steady.
“Man, we talk about it all the time at school. It’s not weird…”
“Yes, but while all of you may be on the ‘Santana’s skirt rode up and it made me so hard’ train, I am most assuredly not, and the one time I can remember…” he blushed immediately, going so red it travelled down his neck and across his collar, and Finn had to laugh.
“Tell me.”
“You’ll freak out,” Kurt moved forward and pressed his nose against Finn’s shoulder, hiding his face.
And yeah, Finn realized, it was probably about him but…he was okay with that.
He didn’t quite know why, but he was. “Promise, I won’t,” Finn rubbed his hands down Kurt’s back in what he hoped was a comforting manner and Kurt finally sighed and pulled back enough to look at him.
“When you…when you sang ‘Hello, I Love You,’” he admitted softly, closing his eyes like…what?
Like he expected Finn to hit him or something, and Finn would never do that because…no.
Not cool.
“Really?” he grinned and Kurt looked at him as if he’d gone mad. “ ‘Cuz I was supposed to be working on my confidence and stuff and I know I’m kinda too awkward to be sexy, but it’s awesome if you think so. I mean, Santana and Brittany asked me out after that so they must have thought so, too, but…yeah.”
“Finn Hudson, attraction is something that can’t be explained,” Kurt said quietly. “Some people might look at you and not feel anything at all but…you’re the most attractive boy I’ve ever met. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“You’re not,” Finn promised with a quick shake of his head. “I don’t know why, but you’re not. Maybe I just feel more comfortable around you in general but…it doesn’t freak me out any more. It’s kinda flattering. That’s the word, right?” he asked, wrinkling his nose as Kurt laughed and nodded.
“Yes, that’s the word,” he affirmed, trying to get up again although Finn kept him in place. “Finn, we should go to bed…”
“Look, you just told me something really private, right?”
At Kurt’s slow nod he smiled and continued, “So, I wanna do that same. Cool?”
“O-okay,” Kurt nodded and sank down a little, getting more comfortable as Finn pulled him in.
“Okay,” Finn looked down and sighed, hands still roaming over Kurt’s back. “Like I told you, I kinda have problems with…arriving early to the party.”
And Kurt once again gave him a look that suggested he wasn’t completely sane, frowning. “You’ve told me that, so I don’t see…”
“Yeah, but it’s really embarrassing and stuff! I mean, sex with Santana? Lasted about five seconds,” he admitted sheepishly. “It sucked.”
“Well, from what I’ve read, premature ejaculation isn’t really a concern, especially not at your age. You’ll get better with experience,” Kurt patted his shoulder rather awkwardly and Finn smiled.
“Really? Cool. ‘Cuz Quinn really seemed to hate it; I mean, we’d just be making out and I’d…y’know?” he said softly and Kurt thought about this for a moment before gasping.
“So last night…with me…you were that close?” he looked almost disgusted which Finn didn’t really get because he’d thought Kurt would be, like, happy that just kissing would almost get Finn off, but apparently not.
Finn guessed that sex really did freak Kurt out.
“Um, yeah?”
“Oh. That’s…” Kurt gulped and got up, pulling his shirt up over his shoulder only to have it slip off of his other one, and Kurt’s skin really was almost white-pale and way smoother than even Quinn’s. “I’m…going to bed. Goodnight.”
“Hey,” Finn caught him about the waist and pulled him in, not letting him run away. “It’s cool if it freaks you out, y’know? Like you said, we’re all different, and if it makes you uncomfortable just lemme know, kay?”
“Okay,” Kurt gave him a quick hug before glancing up, eyes huge and lumi…lum…shiny in the bedroom light as he pressed his lips to Finn’s softly for about half a second before pulling back. “Sorry. I…”
“It’s fine,” Finn shrugged, because that was barely a kiss and it didn’t really count.
“I think I’ll be happy when Dad gets that addition finished,” Kurt chuckled ruefully and headed into the washroom, Finn freezing because, yeah, Burt was working on the addition for his room and that would mean he wouldn’t spend nearly as much time around Kurt.
And he shouldn’t really have cared about that.
But he did.
He found his feet leading him toward Kurt’s bed almost on instinct and went with it, because he knew they’d both slept really good the night before.
Kurt gave him a strange look when he came out of the washroom once more, toweling something off of his face, and he glanced at Finn’s bed before sighing and going to his own, letting Finn pull him in and nuzzling against the taller boy’s neck before stilling.
“Is this going to be a regular thing?” he asked, the words muffled against Finn’s skin and Finn slid his hands under Kurt’s shirt without thinking, feeling that silky skin under his fingers as Kurt squeaked in surprise. “Finn, we really can’t…”
“Go to sleep,” Finn urged, not wanting to have this conversation right now.
He knew it wasn’t fair to Rachel.
He knew it didn’t make sense.
But he also knew that holding Kurt made him feel complete in a way that nothing else ever had, and until he figured out what that actually meant, he was going to take advantage of what he could.
Kurt was almost asleep, even breaths hitting his skin as he snuffled a little, and Finn kissed his forehead without thinking and settled down himself.
He’d figure it out in the morning.
Chapter Three
Notes:
1. So, I’d had SO MANY people tell me they want this fic continued so I thought I’d at least write out the rest of this chapter (the original stopped after they made out in the car, and the rest was obviously drawing more from this season’s canon with Kurt’s aversion to sex), although I fear the break in style’s going to be really obvious and jarring…
2. And, since the first part of this chapter was written over a year ago, I’m thinking the movie was ‘Prince of Persia.’ Just in case anybody’s wondering.
3. Again, I can’t promise when/if this will be continued, but I’m really flattered that people seem to like it :D
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Chapter: 2/?
Word Count: 2873
Spoilers: Up to the end of season one
Summary: Finn’s still trying to make up for what he said, but Kurt’s colder to him than ever. And he’d do pretty much anything to change that. Story starts here.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I'm done with them. :)
Changes
Chapter Two
“No. Absolutely, positively not. Quinn, darling, you’re a beautiful girl, but green just isn’t your color,” Kurt shook his head. “Stick with summery tones; you look lovely in yellow; pink; baby blue…that purple dress you had was magnificent,” Kurt added. “But no, hunter green is not for you.”
“I agree,” Mercedes chimed in. “And listen to my man, he’s a genius.”
“Thank you,” Kurt preened. “Honestly, Quinn, you’re gorgeous. You don’t need any help, but if you want me to advise you, I’ll certainly oblige.”
“I appreciate it,” Quinn told him honestly with a shy smile. “And…I took your advice. Back when we were trying to pull one over on Rachel? About the double-knit camisoles? It was great.”
“I know, hon,” Kurt patted her hand. “Now…” he scanned the shelves and pulled out a sundress. “Try that one on.”
“Okay,” she took it and twirled into the dressing room, the curtain swishing gently shut behind her.
“So, you’ve got something on your mind, my man,” Mercedes glanced at him sideways and Kurt regarded her coolly.
“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yesterday you were mega-depressed, Kurt. And now today you’re walking on air. What’s up?”
“Can I trust you?” Kurt glanced around, already knowing that Mercedes wouldn’t blab if he asked her not to.
“With anything,” she assured him.
“Okay,” he dropped his voice to a whisper. “Finn and I…kind of made out last night.”
“No way!” she shrieked, and Kurt shushed her quickly. “What? How?”
“I don’t even know,” Kurt was forced to admit. “I just told him that I’d never kissed a guy, and he offered, and…” he shrugged helplessly. “We were making out. It was hot.”
“Boy, you better hope Rachel doesn’t decide to give you what for,” Mercedes looked awed.
“We’re not speaking of it,” Kurt reminded her. “But he…he stayed with me all night, and we were…kind of cuddling this morning.”
“Does he like you?” she hissed, incredulous.
“No. At least, no more than a close friend. We’re just…more comfortable around each other recently, and that’s all it’ll ever be. And I’m not delusional enough to think it’ll ever be more,” he added sadly.
“But it was good?”
“Oh, honey, it was incredible. And he didn’t even try to pretend he didn’t like it. But I respect Rachel too much to go behind her back, and I’ve told him that. If he wants me…really wants me…then he has to call it quits with her,” Kurt explained as Quinn twirled back out. “Oh, darling, you’re wonderful!”
She grinned at him and he gushed over her some more, although Mercedes wasn’t quite so enthusiastic, obviously thinking about everything Kurt had said to her.
000
Both parties were surprised when they ran into each other in the movie theatre lobby, but Finn dragged Rachel over regardless and blabbed that they were all going to the same movie so they should all go together!
Rachel looked less than impressed with his impulsive decision but, to her credit, didn’t question it, and soon they were seated in the theater.
“Kurt just wants to watch Jake Gyllenhaal shirtless,” Mercedes opined, and Kurt laughed nervously.
“Oh, honey, like that’s even an excuse!” he exclaimed. “And Quinn wants to see that, too.”
“I’m not going to argue,” Quinn shook her head.
“Oh. I’m just here for the fight scenes,” Finn spoke up.
“Typical boy. Give you people hacking each other to pieces, you’re happy,” Kurt muttered, trying not to squawk when Finn ruffled his hair.
The movie was entertaining, and Kurt was getting his fill of eye-candy, but he noticed that Finn had an arm around Rachel and soon that preoccupied all of his thoughts. At one point Rachel left to use the washroom, and Finn hesitated for a second before laying a hand on Kurt’s knee, glancing sideways at him. Kurt leaned his head on Finn’s shoulder and closed his eyes briefly, smiling as Finn’s arm came around him and ran up and down his arm.
Kurt chanced a glance at Mercedes and Quinn, but thankfully they were both engrossed in the movie and not looking. “Hey, man. You were looking a little down.”
“Thank you,” Kurt said truthfully, pulling away as Rachel bounced back in and resumed her spot, snuggling close to Finn. Kurt kept his hands to himself and consoled himself with watching hot, shirtless men, and they went out for a late night snack after the movie had finished before going their separate ways. Rachel wanted Finn to come home with her as her two dads were out of town for some work thing, but Finn took one look at Kurt and declined her offer.
“Thanks, Rach, but Kurt and I ‘ve gotta get home. Mom and Burt will wonder where we are,” Finn shrugged. “Maybe another night.”
“Yes. Of course,” Rachel nodded enthusiastically before standing on her tiptoes and kissing Finn noisily. Kurt resisted the urge to gag.
“We’d better be off, too,” Quinn jumped in, causing them to break apart. “It’s been fun, though. We’ll see you all Monday,” she waved perkily, dragging Mercedes away.
“Alright, then. Goodnight, Finn; Kurt,” Rachel nodded to them and bounced down the street, leaving Finn and Kurt to ride home together.
“C’mon,” Finn started toward his car and Kurt followed, staying a few feet behind him the entire time. “Hurry up, man.”
Kurt walked faster, sliding into the passenger’s seat, but he was completely unprepared for Finn to grab him by his (designer) shirt and kiss him feverishly. “Finn…Finn, what are you…mmph…oh, God…doing?”
“Please,” Finn breathed, and Kurt gave up trying to rationalize it and just let himself go along with it, shoving his tongue into Finn’s mouth and climbing into his lap, grinding their hips together as Finn gasped and moaned into his mouth.
Kurt could tell when it was getting to be too much and he pulled back, not wanting this to go any farther than it had. Finn’s eyes were wide and he was panting shallowly, looking amazed, and Kurt bet he didn’t look much better off.
“Wow,” Finn whispered. “Just…I’m so confused, Kurt…”
“What is it, sweetie?” Kurt ran his fingers through Finn’s hair, smoothing it down. “What’s wrong?”
“This…I…I want you. So badly,” Finn sighed. “More than I want Rachel, but I know that in the long run she’s going to be best for me. You and me have something incredible, Kurt, but it’s not going to last, and I don’t want it to jeopardize our friendship. Plus with our parents dating it’s just kinda weird.”
“I understand,” Kurt got off of Finn and buckled himself into the passenger seat.
“But that was hot, right?”
“Extremely,” Kurt assured Finn with a tiny smile. “But I get what you’re saying and you’re right; it would be a little strange for us to pursue a relationship.”
“Yeah. That,” Finn agreed, starting the car and pulling out from the parking stall.
000
He realized, when they were getting ready for bed later, that kissing Kurt was kind of a dick move.
Yeah, he obviously felt something for him…he was still convinced that it was just because Kurt was willing to go farther than Rachel or Quinn and he was taking advantage of that. He kinda wondered if Kurt would go all the way with him because he made it seem like it but he really couldn’t see Kurt just having sex to have sex (he realized that, before Santana, he didn’t really see himself as the type of guy to have sex just to have sex, so maybe he wasn’t the best judge.)
Speaking of which, he thought as he lay back, did Kurt even think about sex? He talked about it with the guys on the team all the time but Kurt had never really said anything about it, and Kurt may be gay but he was still a teenage boy, right? So he obviously had to have the same stuff happen to his body that any other guy did, and…
He looked up as Kurt came out of the washroom, dressed in pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt that fell distractingly off of one shoulder, and decided to ask him.
He’d probably regret it later, but he was kinda curious.
“Hey, Kurt?”
“Mm?” Kurt asked absently, digging through his nightstand for something.
“If I asked you, would you have sex with me?”
And Kurt turned around so fast Finn swore he woulda, like, pulled a muscle in his neck or something. “Please tell me you didn’t ask me what I just thought you asked me,” he rubbed his ears like he’d heard wrong and stared at Finn, wide-eyed. “Please.”
“It’s not a gay thing,” Finn promised, raising his hands. “It’s just…me ‘n the guys talk about it all the time and it’s like you’re one of those plants or something…like…I know you like me but it’s not sexual, right? You’re like…”
“Asexual?” Kurt raised an eyebrow, looking a little more under control, and Finn nodded.
“Yeah.”
“I’m not asexual, Finn,” Kurt promised with a tiny smile. “Some people reach maturity later than others, and I’m willing to bet that, if you truly got the truth out of your friends on the football team, at least a few of them are merely saying what they do so the rest of you won’t tease them. And really,” he sat on the bed, one foot pulled up under him and the other dangling to the floor, the tips of his toes just touching the carpet, “with you and Santana, could you honestly tell me you were ready?”
“No,” Finn said instantly. “But, I mean, I still want sex. Not all the time, but it’s not like I think about it and I get grossed out, and I kinda think you do,” he said, and Kurt looked afraid for a moment before he crossed the floor, shy and uncertain until Finn grabbed his wrist and pulled him down onto his lap. “Kurt?”
“I appreciate you trying to talk to me as ‘one of the guys,’ Finn, but you have to realize that what interests you and your jock friends really doesn’t hold my attention. So you don’t need to talk to me about it,” he was tense in Finn’s lap, so different from how relaxed and comfortable he seemed there just that morning.
“Yeah, but…” Finn wondered if he should ask what he wanted to and, in the end, decided that it wasn’t going to hurt. “So you…you never think about sex? Just, like, kissing and stuff?”
“I don’t understand the appeal,” Kurt huffed, his bangs falling in his eyes. “I just…it’s so intimate and open and I’m not…comfortable baring myself in that way. I don’t know if I could.”
“Dude, you have to have jerked off!” Finn exclaimed, probably too loudly if the way Kurt shushed him was any indication. “Sorry. But it’s totally normal! And it feels great; I mean, that’s why people have sex, right?”
“No,” Kurt said, pressing a finger to his lips. “I haven’t. And yes, I’ll admit that I’ve had wet dreams, but I’ve never consciously brought myself to climax. As I said, I’ve never needed to.”
“So, what turns you on, then?” Finn just couldn’t fathom somebody never having sexual urges. Not when you were a sixteen or seventeen-year-old guy; it just didn’t make any sense.
“I’m…not talking about that,” Kurt said evasively, trying to get up as Finn held him steady.
“Man, we talk about it all the time at school. It’s not weird…”
“Yes, but while all of you may be on the ‘Santana’s skirt rode up and it made me so hard’ train, I am most assuredly not, and the one time I can remember…” he blushed immediately, going so red it travelled down his neck and across his collar, and Finn had to laugh.
“Tell me.”
“You’ll freak out,” Kurt moved forward and pressed his nose against Finn’s shoulder, hiding his face.
And yeah, Finn realized, it was probably about him but…he was okay with that.
He didn’t quite know why, but he was. “Promise, I won’t,” Finn rubbed his hands down Kurt’s back in what he hoped was a comforting manner and Kurt finally sighed and pulled back enough to look at him.
“When you…when you sang ‘Hello, I Love You,’” he admitted softly, closing his eyes like…what?
Like he expected Finn to hit him or something, and Finn would never do that because…no.
Not cool.
“Really?” he grinned and Kurt looked at him as if he’d gone mad. “ ‘Cuz I was supposed to be working on my confidence and stuff and I know I’m kinda too awkward to be sexy, but it’s awesome if you think so. I mean, Santana and Brittany asked me out after that so they must have thought so, too, but…yeah.”
“Finn Hudson, attraction is something that can’t be explained,” Kurt said quietly. “Some people might look at you and not feel anything at all but…you’re the most attractive boy I’ve ever met. I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“You’re not,” Finn promised with a quick shake of his head. “I don’t know why, but you’re not. Maybe I just feel more comfortable around you in general but…it doesn’t freak me out any more. It’s kinda flattering. That’s the word, right?” he asked, wrinkling his nose as Kurt laughed and nodded.
“Yes, that’s the word,” he affirmed, trying to get up again although Finn kept him in place. “Finn, we should go to bed…”
“Look, you just told me something really private, right?”
At Kurt’s slow nod he smiled and continued, “So, I wanna do that same. Cool?”
“O-okay,” Kurt nodded and sank down a little, getting more comfortable as Finn pulled him in.
“Okay,” Finn looked down and sighed, hands still roaming over Kurt’s back. “Like I told you, I kinda have problems with…arriving early to the party.”
And Kurt once again gave him a look that suggested he wasn’t completely sane, frowning. “You’ve told me that, so I don’t see…”
“Yeah, but it’s really embarrassing and stuff! I mean, sex with Santana? Lasted about five seconds,” he admitted sheepishly. “It sucked.”
“Well, from what I’ve read, premature ejaculation isn’t really a concern, especially not at your age. You’ll get better with experience,” Kurt patted his shoulder rather awkwardly and Finn smiled.
“Really? Cool. ‘Cuz Quinn really seemed to hate it; I mean, we’d just be making out and I’d…y’know?” he said softly and Kurt thought about this for a moment before gasping.
“So last night…with me…you were that close?” he looked almost disgusted which Finn didn’t really get because he’d thought Kurt would be, like, happy that just kissing would almost get Finn off, but apparently not.
Finn guessed that sex really did freak Kurt out.
“Um, yeah?”
“Oh. That’s…” Kurt gulped and got up, pulling his shirt up over his shoulder only to have it slip off of his other one, and Kurt’s skin really was almost white-pale and way smoother than even Quinn’s. “I’m…going to bed. Goodnight.”
“Hey,” Finn caught him about the waist and pulled him in, not letting him run away. “It’s cool if it freaks you out, y’know? Like you said, we’re all different, and if it makes you uncomfortable just lemme know, kay?”
“Okay,” Kurt gave him a quick hug before glancing up, eyes huge and lumi…lum…shiny in the bedroom light as he pressed his lips to Finn’s softly for about half a second before pulling back. “Sorry. I…”
“It’s fine,” Finn shrugged, because that was barely a kiss and it didn’t really count.
“I think I’ll be happy when Dad gets that addition finished,” Kurt chuckled ruefully and headed into the washroom, Finn freezing because, yeah, Burt was working on the addition for his room and that would mean he wouldn’t spend nearly as much time around Kurt.
And he shouldn’t really have cared about that.
But he did.
He found his feet leading him toward Kurt’s bed almost on instinct and went with it, because he knew they’d both slept really good the night before.
Kurt gave him a strange look when he came out of the washroom once more, toweling something off of his face, and he glanced at Finn’s bed before sighing and going to his own, letting Finn pull him in and nuzzling against the taller boy’s neck before stilling.
“Is this going to be a regular thing?” he asked, the words muffled against Finn’s skin and Finn slid his hands under Kurt’s shirt without thinking, feeling that silky skin under his fingers as Kurt squeaked in surprise. “Finn, we really can’t…”
“Go to sleep,” Finn urged, not wanting to have this conversation right now.
He knew it wasn’t fair to Rachel.
He knew it didn’t make sense.
But he also knew that holding Kurt made him feel complete in a way that nothing else ever had, and until he figured out what that actually meant, he was going to take advantage of what he could.
Kurt was almost asleep, even breaths hitting his skin as he snuffled a little, and Finn kissed his forehead without thinking and settled down himself.
He’d figure it out in the morning.
Chapter Three
Notes:
1. So, I’d had SO MANY people tell me they want this fic continued so I thought I’d at least write out the rest of this chapter (the original stopped after they made out in the car, and the rest was obviously drawing more from this season’s canon with Kurt’s aversion to sex), although I fear the break in style’s going to be really obvious and jarring…
2. And, since the first part of this chapter was written over a year ago, I’m thinking the movie was ‘Prince of Persia.’ Just in case anybody’s wondering.
3. Again, I can’t promise when/if this will be continued, but I’m really flattered that people seem to like it :D