Fic: Changes, Chapter Three (Finn/Kurt)
Title: Changes
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: R
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Chapter: 3/?
Word Count: 2747
Spoilers: Up to the beginning of season two
Summary: Finn’s still trying to make up for what he said, but Kurt’s colder to him than ever. And he’d do pretty much anything to change that. Story starts here.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I'm done with them. :)
Changes
Chapter Three
Kurt should have probably expected this to happen at some point, but since he wasn’t exactly used to sleeping with anybody the thought had never occurred to him and when he woke up with something pressing rather insistently into his backside it took him a while to figure out what it was.
He freaked out once he did, because no, Finn’s cock was not pressing up against his butt, but of course it was and he tried to calm himself down before he woke Finn up.
Why did he think sleeping together would be a good idea, again?
He really needed to get over this irrational crush.
But first he needed to get away from Finn.
He tried to wriggle out but Finn just hugged him tighter, still fast asleep and snoring quietly in Kurt’s ear.
Okay.
Next plan.
He reached down to try and pry Finn’s arms off of him, but Finn had a rather firm grip on him and that wasn’t working.
And then Finn started to move his hips.
“Finn!” he hissed, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. “Finn, wake up!”
“Mmnr?” Finn grumbled, finally opening his eyes, but instead of getting embarrassed and pulling away like Kurt would have suspected his eyes merely widened slightly although he didn’t move. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Kurt’s voice was rather shrill and he tried to calm himself down. “All you can say is ‘oh?!’”
“Dude, it’s cool. It’s normal. Just give it a minute and don’t do that!” Finn yelped as Kurt wiggled again before realizing that causing more friction probably wasn’t the best idea with Finn in his current predicament.
“Sorry,” Kurt calmed down, just lying there and trying to tell him that this was all he’d wanted for the last two years so he’d best enjoy it, and Finn eventually sighed.
“Yeah, this isn’t working. Sorry.”
“Um…”
“Will you let me?” Finn finally asked, rather quietly, and Kurt gasped, because…
“Wait. Is this just because Rachel and Quinn wouldn’t…”
“Maybe?” Finn sounded confused. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t want to, because I do, but...maybe part of it’s that. I really dunno, man…”
And Kurt should say ‘no.’ He should say ‘no’ and save himself all of the heartache and turmoil that this is going to inevitably bring. He could say ‘no’ and keep on lusting for Finn from afar, never knowing what it would be like although his heart would thank himself. He could say ‘no’ and feel no shame.
But he could say ‘yes.’
He could say ‘yes’ and he would know. He would have the boy of his dreams, even if it was only for a few minutes. He could…
He cursed his own weakness and found his throat too tight to speak the words, so he slid his hands down and shifted backward and hoped that gave Finn his answer.
“You’re sure?”
Kurt nodded, wishing that Finn would just get on with it because if he second guessed himself he’d know what a bad, bad idea this was going to be.
Finn would come to him whenever he was horny and Rachel wouldn’t let him go that far.
That’s all he would be: a way for Finn to find release.
And yes, the rather irrational part of his brain was thinking that perhaps eventually Finn would see what he had with Kurt and would fall in love with him, but let’s be honest:
Finn wasn’t gay. He may not have been entirely straight, but he certainly wasn’t gay.
And, even if he decided to pursue anything with Kurt, he’d never come out during high school.
So this was going to end badly.
Oh, so badly.
…He didn’t care. Any chance was better than no chance at all.
So he nodded again and Finn huffed and gripped him tightly around the waist, hard cock still pressing insistently against him as the other boy started to pump his hips, grinding as Kurt tried not to freak out.
He wanted this.
He knew he did.
And then Finn was kissing his neck, arms wrapping tight around him as he panted harshly into Kurt’s ear, and Kurt gave himself over to it.
He rocked back instinctively, his body knowing what to do even if his brain wasn’t sure, and Finn groaned before snapping his hips again and stilling, panting, and Kurt thought he could feel wetness through their pants although that was probably his imagination.
“That’s it? Really?” he laughed nervously, and even though Finn had said he came fast Kurt didn’t think he meant that fast.
“I’d like to see you last any longer,” Finn muttered, licking his neck as Kurt shivered.
“Well, you’ll have to wait on that one,” Kurt tried to get away again but Finn just held him in place, one hand sneaking around to rest on his stomach. “Finn, no.”
“Kurt, it’s gotta happen sometime, dude,” Finn tried to reason, and Kurt was still rather amazed that Finn was willing to…what? Touch his cock?
“I hate to break this to you, but what you’re suggesting is not only entirely non-heterosexual, but it’s also…” and he cut off with a squeak because Finn clamped a hand over his crotch through his pants.
Finn. Hudson. Was. Touching. His. Cock.
“Finn.”
It was supposed to be a protest and came out more as a moan of ecstasy, Kurt tilting his head back. “I know it’s not straight, Kurt. But neither was making out with you, and really, it’s just like touching myself, right?”
“No,” Kurt said briskly, a sudden thought occurring to him. “Finn, please don’t tell me this is part of your ‘prove to Kurt I’m okay with him being gay’ thing. I believe you. This won’t help.”
“It’s not, dude,” Finn promised, his hand not moving. “I just…I dunno what it is, but it doesn’t scare me. It really doesn’t. Maybe it’s ‘cuz…if this makes any sense…with girls I really don’t know what to do because I don’t know how it feels, right? But with you…I know what I like, and it should be pretty much the same, so I don’t feel totally lost.”
And, Kurt thought, that made sense in a bizarre, Finn-ish kind of way, but still…
“Can I?” Finn breathed into his ear, his breath wet and hot and Kurt could only shiver and nod.
“Yes. I…yes.”
“Okay,” Finn said quietly, his hand sliding into Finn’s pajama pants and wrapping lightly around his cock. “Okay, this is kinda weird.”
“I told you-ah!” Kurt shuddered as Finn stroked him slowly, his large hand covering Kurt’s already-hard cock and pumping gently. “Oh.”
“Is that good? It’s what I do,” Finn murmured, kissing his neck and throat again as Kurt sighed. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” the smaller boy agreed breathlessly, because wow, that was a lot of sensation. “Yes, that’s…yes.”
“Cool,” Finn kept stroking him as Kurt just floated, waves of pleasure like he’d never felt flowing through him and building slowly, unhurried and almost lazy.
He felt a burning low in his stomach, not painful but just a pressure and a need to do something, and Finn swiped his thumb over the head of Kurt’s flushed cock as Kurt moaned and shook.
“Come if you need to. Just…let it take over,” Finn whispered and Kurt could do nothing but that, shuddering as he climaxed and ropes of cum streaked Finn’s hand and his own pants.
He was panting, shaking, trying to hold onto that feeling of orgasm because it was intense and powerful and amazing, like nothing could ever feel bad again, and Finn kept stroking his stomach and kissing his neck as he came down.
“Oh,” was all he could say, still shivering a little. “That was…”
“It’s amazing, right? I just…I felt bad knowing you’d never felt that. But I gotta warn you that once you do it’s kinda addicting,” he laughed quietly and Kurt elbowed him, earning a rather lazy protest of ‘Dude!’
“Great, so now I’ll turn into a sex addict,” Kurt snorted and Finn sighed. “Anyway, let me go. I need to clean up.”
“Sure,” Finn said, quieter than usual, and finally released Kurt from the circle of his arms as Kurt staggered upright, turning to stare at the other boy.
“And thank you.”
“Yeah,” was all Finn said. Not ‘anytime’. Just ‘yeah.’
And suddenly Kurt wasn’t feeling so great about everything anymore.
000
Finn Hudson was freaking out.
He’d jerked another guy off.
And not just any other guy, but Kurt, the gay kid who had a crush on him.
The gay kid he lived with.
The gay kid who might, someday soon, become his stepbrother.
And no, that wasn’t all of it (as if that wasn’t bad enough!), but he had…well, he’s not sure if he’d enjoyed it, really, but he hadn’t hated it.
It hadn’t felt wrong.
But he wasn’t gay.
Sure, he and Kurt had some kind of electricity between them, and Kurt was a great kisser, but…
Crap.
He needed to think about this.
So he spent the entire day practically ignoring Kurt and made sure he was in bed long before him so Kurt wouldn’t ask him why they weren’t sleeping in the same bed again.
He was still awake but pretended to be sound asleep, keeping his breaths even as Kurt crossed the floor and crawled into bed.
Only then did Finn let himself fall asleep, and if his dreams were filled with a rather naked Kurt moaning in pleasure beneath him, nobody ever had to know.
000
Finn started to spend inordinate amounts of time with Rachel.
Which, Kurt supposed, wasn’t necessarily a bad thing: Rachel was his girlfriend, and he had every right to spend time with her.
The problem was that, to him, it seemed the only reason Finn was spending time with Rachel was to avoid Kurt.
Kurt wanted to go to a movie, Rachel suddenly had a free evening.
Kurt suggested going to the pool, Rachel was going bowling with him.
Kurt wanted to spend the afternoon at the mall, well hey, Finn was going to the mall…with Rachel.
Honestly, the girl never went anywhere all summer, even though her dads always seemed to be on this cruise or that tour or visiting some obscure family member the next state over.
Eventually Kurt went into their room to ask Finn if he wanted a drink, starting with, “I was wondering…”
And Finn shouted, “Can’t! Plans with Rach!”
“…if you wanted something to drink.”
“Oh,” Finn blushed, his entire face going red, before sinking back onto his bed. “Sorry, dude. Guess I’m a little wound up.”
“For the record, I don’t expect you bringing me to orgasm while half-asleep to suddenly mean we’re in a committed relationship. I get that it was a one-time thing. You can stop avoiding me like the plague,” he snapped, knowing he was perhaps being a little harsh but Finn was acting like a child about the entire thing.
“I know, man,” Finn finally admitted, staring at Kurt for what had to be the first time in three weeks. “I get that. I just…I’m trying to figure some stuff out for myself. Nothing against you, I promise.”
Kurt didn’t believe him, but what can he do but nod in agreement?
“Okay. Come get me when you’ve figured it out,” he sighed and left without actually getting an answer as to whether Finn wanted something to drink.
He could get it for himself.
000
The middle of August came and Kurt was getting ready to go back to school, trying to figure out what he could afford from the newest fall collections and eventually deciding he needed to take a trip to Monroe to scour the outlet mall for last season’s bargains.
Nobody in Lima would know the difference anyway.
Unfortunately, despite his pleas and his father’s knowledge that Kurt needed his wardrobe updated every season, he and Carole had planned a weekend getaway at some lake and so the only person who could go (because Burt had a rather strict, “I know you’re almost an adult, son, but it’s two hours away and you need somebody in the car with you”) was Finn.
Kurt immediately backpedaled and insisted that, no, maybe he could find some things online but his father knew him too well and after an awkward, “Are things okay between you boys?” look they pretty much had to do this in order to preserve the family unity.
The drive was completely silent. Kurt didn’t even want to put any music on in case it broke the weird tension between them, because he had a feeling anything Finn said wasn’t going to be good.
So they got to the mall and Kurt headed off shopping, leaving Finn to wander where he would. There was a food court so presumably he’d be there, although there were also enough sportswear stores that he could possibly find his way into one of those.
Kurt had his phone, though, so he wasn’t too worried about finding Finn again when the time came.
He ended up buying a decent collection of clothes, enough to at least last him until the fall collection came out properly for some of the stores, and found a gorgeous sweater that he needed to buy for Finn (the price tag made him cringe, but it was a peace offering, so it was worth it).
He didn’t give it to Finn until they were back home for the night, awkward drive finally behind them, and when he did Finn took one look at it and said, “Dude, I can’t wear that. It’s…”
“Completely heterosexual,” Kurt put in. “Look, Finn, I know things have been…tense between us…”
“I told you, I’m figuring things out,” Finn protested.
“At this rate you’ll be ‘figuring things out’ ‘til Kingdom Come, so please, just take the sweater,” he was still holding it and Finn finally closed his fingers around the fabric, pulling it over to him and clutching it with both hands.
“Dude, it’s so soft!”
“Cashmere. I know that, to you, ‘poly-cotton’ is probably as luxurious as it gets but trust me and try it,” he crossed his arms, not expecting Finn to strip off his shirt in the middle of the room (ever since that morning he’d taken to dressing in the washroom again) although since, this was Finn, Kurt should really learn that nothing ever happened the way he expected it to.
Kurt only had a few seconds to stare at Finn’s chest before he covered it up with the sweater, and the smaller boy took a lot of pride in the fact that it fit nearly perfectly.
“Dude, this thing’s like wearing a cloud! It’s awesome!” Finn laughed, looking at himself in the mirror before scooping Kurt into a sudden and rather surprising hug and pulling him in tight. “Thank you!”
“Yes, just don’t ask about the price. It costs more than your whole wardrobe,” Kurt’s hands clenched at his sides before he let them slide around Finn, clutching at the admittedly soft material of the sweater. “What’s this about?”
“I’ve been treating you like crap, and I’m sorry,” Finn mumbled into his hair, inhaling deeply. “It’s just…what we did that morning, I liked it way more than I should have, and I don’t know what that means. I’m trying to figure myself out, but I shouldn’t be pushing you away because of it.”
“You can talk to me about anything, Finn. You know that,” Kurt found his eyes slipping closed, finding that easy safety and comfort in Finn’s arms, and Finn didn’t seem particularly inclined to let go of him.
“I know. I just feel like…I’ve gotta do this myself. Okay?”
“Okay,” Kurt said quietly, not really wanting the moment to end, and Finn seemed to sense this and kept holding him for a little longer.
“I really love the sweater, Kurt.”
“I know,” Kurt buried his nose in said sweater and huffed, finally forcing himself to move away. “I just…I don’t know how to fix this, Finn.”
“I’ll fix it,” Finn vowed. “I don’t know how yet, but I will.”
And Kurt could only nod although, truth be told, he didn’t know how, either.
000
But when, in the middle of the night, he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around him and a tiny kiss pressed to the back of his neck, he didn’t once think to move away.
He’d take all he could get.
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Notes:
1. Long one, so bear with me: this chapter took so many twists and turns I had no idea what to do except go along for the ride. At this point I’m almost thinking the story could turn into a sort-of AU for season two with the two of them (see: Finn) trying to figure himself out, and that *would* mean, of course, that Blaine would have to feature in here somewhere as kind of ‘the-boyfriend-that-Kurt-could-actually-say-he’s-with’. I know some of my readers have a strong dislike for Klaine, but rest assured it would only be to prod Finn along to figure out what he really wants. This isn’t a Klaine-fic, after all!! Um, does that sound okay?
2. Finn actually wears a sweater in the first episode of season two that costs a whopping $245, and I refuse to believe that Kurt *didn’t* have a part in that.
3. And that about covers it. Yes, Finn’s not being fair to Kurt right now, but Kurt knows that and he’s accepting it for the time being. :)
Author: AoiTsukikage
Rating: R
Characters/Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Chapter: 3/?
Word Count: 2747
Spoilers: Up to the beginning of season two
Summary: Finn’s still trying to make up for what he said, but Kurt’s colder to him than ever. And he’d do pretty much anything to change that. Story starts here.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own these characters, no matter how sad that makes me. I do, however, promise to return them when I'm done with them. :)
Changes
Chapter Three
Kurt should have probably expected this to happen at some point, but since he wasn’t exactly used to sleeping with anybody the thought had never occurred to him and when he woke up with something pressing rather insistently into his backside it took him a while to figure out what it was.
He freaked out once he did, because no, Finn’s cock was not pressing up against his butt, but of course it was and he tried to calm himself down before he woke Finn up.
Why did he think sleeping together would be a good idea, again?
He really needed to get over this irrational crush.
But first he needed to get away from Finn.
He tried to wriggle out but Finn just hugged him tighter, still fast asleep and snoring quietly in Kurt’s ear.
Okay.
Next plan.
He reached down to try and pry Finn’s arms off of him, but Finn had a rather firm grip on him and that wasn’t working.
And then Finn started to move his hips.
“Finn!” he hissed, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. “Finn, wake up!”
“Mmnr?” Finn grumbled, finally opening his eyes, but instead of getting embarrassed and pulling away like Kurt would have suspected his eyes merely widened slightly although he didn’t move. “Oh.”
“Oh?” Kurt’s voice was rather shrill and he tried to calm himself down. “All you can say is ‘oh?!’”
“Dude, it’s cool. It’s normal. Just give it a minute and don’t do that!” Finn yelped as Kurt wiggled again before realizing that causing more friction probably wasn’t the best idea with Finn in his current predicament.
“Sorry,” Kurt calmed down, just lying there and trying to tell him that this was all he’d wanted for the last two years so he’d best enjoy it, and Finn eventually sighed.
“Yeah, this isn’t working. Sorry.”
“Um…”
“Will you let me?” Finn finally asked, rather quietly, and Kurt gasped, because…
“Wait. Is this just because Rachel and Quinn wouldn’t…”
“Maybe?” Finn sounded confused. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t want to, because I do, but...maybe part of it’s that. I really dunno, man…”
And Kurt should say ‘no.’ He should say ‘no’ and save himself all of the heartache and turmoil that this is going to inevitably bring. He could say ‘no’ and keep on lusting for Finn from afar, never knowing what it would be like although his heart would thank himself. He could say ‘no’ and feel no shame.
But he could say ‘yes.’
He could say ‘yes’ and he would know. He would have the boy of his dreams, even if it was only for a few minutes. He could…
He cursed his own weakness and found his throat too tight to speak the words, so he slid his hands down and shifted backward and hoped that gave Finn his answer.
“You’re sure?”
Kurt nodded, wishing that Finn would just get on with it because if he second guessed himself he’d know what a bad, bad idea this was going to be.
Finn would come to him whenever he was horny and Rachel wouldn’t let him go that far.
That’s all he would be: a way for Finn to find release.
And yes, the rather irrational part of his brain was thinking that perhaps eventually Finn would see what he had with Kurt and would fall in love with him, but let’s be honest:
Finn wasn’t gay. He may not have been entirely straight, but he certainly wasn’t gay.
And, even if he decided to pursue anything with Kurt, he’d never come out during high school.
So this was going to end badly.
Oh, so badly.
…He didn’t care. Any chance was better than no chance at all.
So he nodded again and Finn huffed and gripped him tightly around the waist, hard cock still pressing insistently against him as the other boy started to pump his hips, grinding as Kurt tried not to freak out.
He wanted this.
He knew he did.
And then Finn was kissing his neck, arms wrapping tight around him as he panted harshly into Kurt’s ear, and Kurt gave himself over to it.
He rocked back instinctively, his body knowing what to do even if his brain wasn’t sure, and Finn groaned before snapping his hips again and stilling, panting, and Kurt thought he could feel wetness through their pants although that was probably his imagination.
“That’s it? Really?” he laughed nervously, and even though Finn had said he came fast Kurt didn’t think he meant that fast.
“I’d like to see you last any longer,” Finn muttered, licking his neck as Kurt shivered.
“Well, you’ll have to wait on that one,” Kurt tried to get away again but Finn just held him in place, one hand sneaking around to rest on his stomach. “Finn, no.”
“Kurt, it’s gotta happen sometime, dude,” Finn tried to reason, and Kurt was still rather amazed that Finn was willing to…what? Touch his cock?
“I hate to break this to you, but what you’re suggesting is not only entirely non-heterosexual, but it’s also…” and he cut off with a squeak because Finn clamped a hand over his crotch through his pants.
Finn. Hudson. Was. Touching. His. Cock.
“Finn.”
It was supposed to be a protest and came out more as a moan of ecstasy, Kurt tilting his head back. “I know it’s not straight, Kurt. But neither was making out with you, and really, it’s just like touching myself, right?”
“No,” Kurt said briskly, a sudden thought occurring to him. “Finn, please don’t tell me this is part of your ‘prove to Kurt I’m okay with him being gay’ thing. I believe you. This won’t help.”
“It’s not, dude,” Finn promised, his hand not moving. “I just…I dunno what it is, but it doesn’t scare me. It really doesn’t. Maybe it’s ‘cuz…if this makes any sense…with girls I really don’t know what to do because I don’t know how it feels, right? But with you…I know what I like, and it should be pretty much the same, so I don’t feel totally lost.”
And, Kurt thought, that made sense in a bizarre, Finn-ish kind of way, but still…
“Can I?” Finn breathed into his ear, his breath wet and hot and Kurt could only shiver and nod.
“Yes. I…yes.”
“Okay,” Finn said quietly, his hand sliding into Finn’s pajama pants and wrapping lightly around his cock. “Okay, this is kinda weird.”
“I told you-ah!” Kurt shuddered as Finn stroked him slowly, his large hand covering Kurt’s already-hard cock and pumping gently. “Oh.”
“Is that good? It’s what I do,” Finn murmured, kissing his neck and throat again as Kurt sighed. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” the smaller boy agreed breathlessly, because wow, that was a lot of sensation. “Yes, that’s…yes.”
“Cool,” Finn kept stroking him as Kurt just floated, waves of pleasure like he’d never felt flowing through him and building slowly, unhurried and almost lazy.
He felt a burning low in his stomach, not painful but just a pressure and a need to do something, and Finn swiped his thumb over the head of Kurt’s flushed cock as Kurt moaned and shook.
“Come if you need to. Just…let it take over,” Finn whispered and Kurt could do nothing but that, shuddering as he climaxed and ropes of cum streaked Finn’s hand and his own pants.
He was panting, shaking, trying to hold onto that feeling of orgasm because it was intense and powerful and amazing, like nothing could ever feel bad again, and Finn kept stroking his stomach and kissing his neck as he came down.
“Oh,” was all he could say, still shivering a little. “That was…”
“It’s amazing, right? I just…I felt bad knowing you’d never felt that. But I gotta warn you that once you do it’s kinda addicting,” he laughed quietly and Kurt elbowed him, earning a rather lazy protest of ‘Dude!’
“Great, so now I’ll turn into a sex addict,” Kurt snorted and Finn sighed. “Anyway, let me go. I need to clean up.”
“Sure,” Finn said, quieter than usual, and finally released Kurt from the circle of his arms as Kurt staggered upright, turning to stare at the other boy.
“And thank you.”
“Yeah,” was all Finn said. Not ‘anytime’. Just ‘yeah.’
And suddenly Kurt wasn’t feeling so great about everything anymore.
000
Finn Hudson was freaking out.
He’d jerked another guy off.
And not just any other guy, but Kurt, the gay kid who had a crush on him.
The gay kid he lived with.
The gay kid who might, someday soon, become his stepbrother.
And no, that wasn’t all of it (as if that wasn’t bad enough!), but he had…well, he’s not sure if he’d enjoyed it, really, but he hadn’t hated it.
It hadn’t felt wrong.
But he wasn’t gay.
Sure, he and Kurt had some kind of electricity between them, and Kurt was a great kisser, but…
Crap.
He needed to think about this.
So he spent the entire day practically ignoring Kurt and made sure he was in bed long before him so Kurt wouldn’t ask him why they weren’t sleeping in the same bed again.
He was still awake but pretended to be sound asleep, keeping his breaths even as Kurt crossed the floor and crawled into bed.
Only then did Finn let himself fall asleep, and if his dreams were filled with a rather naked Kurt moaning in pleasure beneath him, nobody ever had to know.
000
Finn started to spend inordinate amounts of time with Rachel.
Which, Kurt supposed, wasn’t necessarily a bad thing: Rachel was his girlfriend, and he had every right to spend time with her.
The problem was that, to him, it seemed the only reason Finn was spending time with Rachel was to avoid Kurt.
Kurt wanted to go to a movie, Rachel suddenly had a free evening.
Kurt suggested going to the pool, Rachel was going bowling with him.
Kurt wanted to spend the afternoon at the mall, well hey, Finn was going to the mall…with Rachel.
Honestly, the girl never went anywhere all summer, even though her dads always seemed to be on this cruise or that tour or visiting some obscure family member the next state over.
Eventually Kurt went into their room to ask Finn if he wanted a drink, starting with, “I was wondering…”
And Finn shouted, “Can’t! Plans with Rach!”
“…if you wanted something to drink.”
“Oh,” Finn blushed, his entire face going red, before sinking back onto his bed. “Sorry, dude. Guess I’m a little wound up.”
“For the record, I don’t expect you bringing me to orgasm while half-asleep to suddenly mean we’re in a committed relationship. I get that it was a one-time thing. You can stop avoiding me like the plague,” he snapped, knowing he was perhaps being a little harsh but Finn was acting like a child about the entire thing.
“I know, man,” Finn finally admitted, staring at Kurt for what had to be the first time in three weeks. “I get that. I just…I’m trying to figure some stuff out for myself. Nothing against you, I promise.”
Kurt didn’t believe him, but what can he do but nod in agreement?
“Okay. Come get me when you’ve figured it out,” he sighed and left without actually getting an answer as to whether Finn wanted something to drink.
He could get it for himself.
000
The middle of August came and Kurt was getting ready to go back to school, trying to figure out what he could afford from the newest fall collections and eventually deciding he needed to take a trip to Monroe to scour the outlet mall for last season’s bargains.
Nobody in Lima would know the difference anyway.
Unfortunately, despite his pleas and his father’s knowledge that Kurt needed his wardrobe updated every season, he and Carole had planned a weekend getaway at some lake and so the only person who could go (because Burt had a rather strict, “I know you’re almost an adult, son, but it’s two hours away and you need somebody in the car with you”) was Finn.
Kurt immediately backpedaled and insisted that, no, maybe he could find some things online but his father knew him too well and after an awkward, “Are things okay between you boys?” look they pretty much had to do this in order to preserve the family unity.
The drive was completely silent. Kurt didn’t even want to put any music on in case it broke the weird tension between them, because he had a feeling anything Finn said wasn’t going to be good.
So they got to the mall and Kurt headed off shopping, leaving Finn to wander where he would. There was a food court so presumably he’d be there, although there were also enough sportswear stores that he could possibly find his way into one of those.
Kurt had his phone, though, so he wasn’t too worried about finding Finn again when the time came.
He ended up buying a decent collection of clothes, enough to at least last him until the fall collection came out properly for some of the stores, and found a gorgeous sweater that he needed to buy for Finn (the price tag made him cringe, but it was a peace offering, so it was worth it).
He didn’t give it to Finn until they were back home for the night, awkward drive finally behind them, and when he did Finn took one look at it and said, “Dude, I can’t wear that. It’s…”
“Completely heterosexual,” Kurt put in. “Look, Finn, I know things have been…tense between us…”
“I told you, I’m figuring things out,” Finn protested.
“At this rate you’ll be ‘figuring things out’ ‘til Kingdom Come, so please, just take the sweater,” he was still holding it and Finn finally closed his fingers around the fabric, pulling it over to him and clutching it with both hands.
“Dude, it’s so soft!”
“Cashmere. I know that, to you, ‘poly-cotton’ is probably as luxurious as it gets but trust me and try it,” he crossed his arms, not expecting Finn to strip off his shirt in the middle of the room (ever since that morning he’d taken to dressing in the washroom again) although since, this was Finn, Kurt should really learn that nothing ever happened the way he expected it to.
Kurt only had a few seconds to stare at Finn’s chest before he covered it up with the sweater, and the smaller boy took a lot of pride in the fact that it fit nearly perfectly.
“Dude, this thing’s like wearing a cloud! It’s awesome!” Finn laughed, looking at himself in the mirror before scooping Kurt into a sudden and rather surprising hug and pulling him in tight. “Thank you!”
“Yes, just don’t ask about the price. It costs more than your whole wardrobe,” Kurt’s hands clenched at his sides before he let them slide around Finn, clutching at the admittedly soft material of the sweater. “What’s this about?”
“I’ve been treating you like crap, and I’m sorry,” Finn mumbled into his hair, inhaling deeply. “It’s just…what we did that morning, I liked it way more than I should have, and I don’t know what that means. I’m trying to figure myself out, but I shouldn’t be pushing you away because of it.”
“You can talk to me about anything, Finn. You know that,” Kurt found his eyes slipping closed, finding that easy safety and comfort in Finn’s arms, and Finn didn’t seem particularly inclined to let go of him.
“I know. I just feel like…I’ve gotta do this myself. Okay?”
“Okay,” Kurt said quietly, not really wanting the moment to end, and Finn seemed to sense this and kept holding him for a little longer.
“I really love the sweater, Kurt.”
“I know,” Kurt buried his nose in said sweater and huffed, finally forcing himself to move away. “I just…I don’t know how to fix this, Finn.”
“I’ll fix it,” Finn vowed. “I don’t know how yet, but I will.”
And Kurt could only nod although, truth be told, he didn’t know how, either.
000
But when, in the middle of the night, he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around him and a tiny kiss pressed to the back of his neck, he didn’t once think to move away.
He’d take all he could get.
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Notes:
1. Long one, so bear with me: this chapter took so many twists and turns I had no idea what to do except go along for the ride. At this point I’m almost thinking the story could turn into a sort-of AU for season two with the two of them (see: Finn) trying to figure himself out, and that *would* mean, of course, that Blaine would have to feature in here somewhere as kind of ‘the-boyfriend-that-Kurt-could-actually-say-he’s-with’. I know some of my readers have a strong dislike for Klaine, but rest assured it would only be to prod Finn along to figure out what he really wants. This isn’t a Klaine-fic, after all!! Um, does that sound okay?
2. Finn actually wears a sweater in the first episode of season two that costs a whopping $245, and I refuse to believe that Kurt *didn’t* have a part in that.
3. And that about covers it. Yes, Finn’s not being fair to Kurt right now, but Kurt knows that and he’s accepting it for the time being. :)