Hashing and Deskcycles
We sat at the kitchen table last night and had it out. He talked until he was out of breath, then I did the same. I think we were so exhausted from being frustrated over stupid things that what the other person said didn't offend us so much. I've been frustrated and depressed, and he's been frustrated and depressed. We realize that we're different people and have very different ways of living together and just kind of jumped back into this. Fine. It was a lot better after we talked, though. Something was lifted a bit and we made dinner peacefully and then sat down to watch Louie C.K. standup, which neither of us liked nearly as much as his show. Tonight, I'm going to the gym for about half an hour, then we're meeting outside the therapist's office, on West 69th St.
I've gained so much weight that my fat pants aren't fitting anymore. I'm not too sure what to do. It's probably mostly stress-induced. Regardless, I'm making an effort to eat less, go to the gym whenever I can, and not do the whole takeout thing with John anymore-I have a suspicion that they put chemicals in that food just so you will feel fat and unhealthy. I feel like a whale. I even considered going back on adderall, yesterday. I told John and he gave me this incredulous look and then said, if you think that'll make you happier. No, I don't think it'll make me happier. I think it'll do what it always did to me: turn me into a nervous wreck. The equipment that I call my "deskcycle" is coming to work today. I hope it's not noisy. It'd be great if it gave me some of that much-need exercise during the day. I want to feel attractive again.
I've gained so much weight that my fat pants aren't fitting anymore. I'm not too sure what to do. It's probably mostly stress-induced. Regardless, I'm making an effort to eat less, go to the gym whenever I can, and not do the whole takeout thing with John anymore-I have a suspicion that they put chemicals in that food just so you will feel fat and unhealthy. I feel like a whale. I even considered going back on adderall, yesterday. I told John and he gave me this incredulous look and then said, if you think that'll make you happier. No, I don't think it'll make me happier. I think it'll do what it always did to me: turn me into a nervous wreck. The equipment that I call my "deskcycle" is coming to work today. I hope it's not noisy. It'd be great if it gave me some of that much-need exercise during the day. I want to feel attractive again.