Writing Sappy Facebook Statuses That Make No Sense (Because You're Drunk)
Ugh. I have a headache this morning. I think it's dehydration. I did drink a few beers last night. I don't want to drink anymore. Bleh!
It's weird how I have to battle myself on a daily basis with this John thing. John isn't my reality anymore, so I'm not in danger of contacting him, but the scariest thing to me was always having someone I love so much become a stranger.
I'm trying so hard to get over him. I should be proud of myself for dating and seeking out ways of coping with this. It's just so hard. I miss laying on his chest and his scent and the way he smiled at me. And now he's gone. He turned from this human into this lying druggie. And now a part of me is doing the same stupid shit that he used to do: I talk about drugs to so many people. I don't even do drugs anymore! I haven't done drugs since I was with him, a long time ago in Colorado. Nor would I want to do drugs now. Is a part of me trying to validate what he's doing or something? It just comes off as immature-at least it would to me. If someone started talking to me about drugs, I'd play it off for a bit, talk with them, and then freak out when I knew they were serious.
It's all terrible. I'm in a well of depression right now that started a couple of days ago.
Danny is okay. We'll be friends. He still loves his ex-fiancé, and it sounds like they just have a couple of things to work out. He's not for me, anyway, and I don't want to be that woman whom he just messes around with. I would be heartbroken to think of the women John messed around with in the space between our meetings, when he thought we could work it out. I'm not interested in getting in the middle of any of that. And I'll tell Danny today, confirming his concerns that I don't want to continue this.
It's weird how I have to battle myself on a daily basis with this John thing. John isn't my reality anymore, so I'm not in danger of contacting him, but the scariest thing to me was always having someone I love so much become a stranger.
I'm trying so hard to get over him. I should be proud of myself for dating and seeking out ways of coping with this. It's just so hard. I miss laying on his chest and his scent and the way he smiled at me. And now he's gone. He turned from this human into this lying druggie. And now a part of me is doing the same stupid shit that he used to do: I talk about drugs to so many people. I don't even do drugs anymore! I haven't done drugs since I was with him, a long time ago in Colorado. Nor would I want to do drugs now. Is a part of me trying to validate what he's doing or something? It just comes off as immature-at least it would to me. If someone started talking to me about drugs, I'd play it off for a bit, talk with them, and then freak out when I knew they were serious.
It's all terrible. I'm in a well of depression right now that started a couple of days ago.
Danny is okay. We'll be friends. He still loves his ex-fiancé, and it sounds like they just have a couple of things to work out. He's not for me, anyway, and I don't want to be that woman whom he just messes around with. I would be heartbroken to think of the women John messed around with in the space between our meetings, when he thought we could work it out. I'm not interested in getting in the middle of any of that. And I'll tell Danny today, confirming his concerns that I don't want to continue this.