Sex and Lies, but no Video Tapes

[antiqrule1]

Sometimes, I do wonder whether he lies to me about stupid things. He told me he was feeling better yesterday when we both woke up with headaches, and then I asked him what he was up to tonight and he said he didn't really have plans and then asked if I was going out with Alex. I told him I canceled because I wanted to get some writing done and then  work on my graphic novel for class. Then he said "I honestly don't feel very good as of now I'm hoping I feel better soon" - I think I'm reading too much into this stuff. The only reason i could of that he might lie to me so that he wouldn't have to get together with me, is that he and his roommate bought this new video game yesterday that they're enthralled with and were supposed to stay up all last night and play but John purportedly fell asleep before they played. But why would he lie to me about that - I think video games are kind of stupid, and knows that, but he could have just told me he was hanging out with Mikel.

Whatever. I think I need to grow up. I'm getting paranoid and making problems now. It just seems weird. I definitely don't think he's cheating on me, or anything like that. Jesus, I just need to stop.

Anyhow, I wished I lived in their simple world where all I needed to do to entertain myself was take adderall and play videos day in and day out. But I'm way too complex.

I hope I can stay up late enough tonight to put my life back together. It's been off for too long now. I need to clean and do a bunch of work. But first, I'm going to go work on my piece some more.