But I want to see if the world will explode

[antiqrule1]

I'm going to start writing my horoscope story today. It's the first piece I'll be writing in years that won't be humorous. I've been told not to write "serious" fiction, that I'm better at humor.

Today, I'm in a weird daze. I feel as though I'm falling through space. I feel as though I've accepted that I'm falling through space, and now, there is no more terror in my heart. Everything is different, somehow. I don't want to talk to anyone, really, because I know they won't be in my world. I feel as though I'm ready to jump into the volcano and I don't have to swallow before I do it, that my face is serene and my breaths are evenly-spaced.

I think I'll smoke a clove. I think I'll stay out most of the day, except for when I'm working. I have a dinner date with Alex at Mad Greens - I'm never in the mood to see her, but she doesn't care. It makes her happy, and that's why I do it. I want to make her happy, because even if she is incredibly selfish, she's not a bad person and I'd like her to be happy.

I'm floating, without sadness, without happiness, without anything. I'm just floating, I guess.