He is John. I am Tasha. I like him for as long as he likes me (and maybe longer).
So yesterday I had a primarily good day with John, and then I got too drunk at night and fell into an awful mood. I got mad at him, thought of breaking up with him and thought I'd come to the conclusion that he couldn't make me happy. He told me that I was going to leave him one of these days and that's so sad because he cares a lot about me. I cried and said it just wasn't true and that I cared so much about him. I cried. And I said I was sad and either wanted to go home or go to sleep and he told me to just go to sleep. And then I told him to go be with his friends and he said he'd rather be with me. Everything from last night was so cloudy - I was too drunk. I know I was annoyed with him, but I've been annoyed with him a lot. I need to take it easy.
I've decided, though, to be as close to perfect for him as I can be, without expecting anything too great in return, or unreasonable. It's not over yet and I don't want it to be. He brought up marriage the other day and worried about my debts. I don't want him to regret ever bringing it up.
So, I plan to be less petty and try to be happy as much as possible around him. If I have a problem, or if he seems off, I should just continue to be happy and maybe that'll help. Has to be better than just getting upset and I'd rather be meek when drunk instead of pissed off at him and crying.
I love him. Even when I'm mad at him, I love him. I just love him. And I will tell him less again because I've said it alot lately.
I have a surprise for him tomorrow night if he can come to my house (he has a ride in the morning). I want to make him dinner and tiramisu - apparently tiramisu was a dessert Italian women would make in WWI for the men returning home from war.
And I need to stop lying to him and about him. Nothing big. At all. But the stupid stuff, like how I won't be going to the bars, or to my friends that I don't need to have him around. I want to be with him. That makes me happy. I like being a couple and being one of those couples. That's what happens. And it's a good thing? If ever I were to get married, to whomever, do I want people not wanting my husband around, or their thinking I'll go to their parties without him? That's weird. When you're together, you're together. You go together. And I need to get used to that, too. It's okay. But if he's going to tone it down, so do I need to. And I have to a large extent, but I need to go even more. He's mine and I'm his and for as long as this lasts, I want it to be great, and I want to know that I'm putting everything into it because he is what I've been looking for and I want nothing else.
I've decided, though, to be as close to perfect for him as I can be, without expecting anything too great in return, or unreasonable. It's not over yet and I don't want it to be. He brought up marriage the other day and worried about my debts. I don't want him to regret ever bringing it up.
So, I plan to be less petty and try to be happy as much as possible around him. If I have a problem, or if he seems off, I should just continue to be happy and maybe that'll help. Has to be better than just getting upset and I'd rather be meek when drunk instead of pissed off at him and crying.
I love him. Even when I'm mad at him, I love him. I just love him. And I will tell him less again because I've said it alot lately.
I have a surprise for him tomorrow night if he can come to my house (he has a ride in the morning). I want to make him dinner and tiramisu - apparently tiramisu was a dessert Italian women would make in WWI for the men returning home from war.
And I need to stop lying to him and about him. Nothing big. At all. But the stupid stuff, like how I won't be going to the bars, or to my friends that I don't need to have him around. I want to be with him. That makes me happy. I like being a couple and being one of those couples. That's what happens. And it's a good thing? If ever I were to get married, to whomever, do I want people not wanting my husband around, or their thinking I'll go to their parties without him? That's weird. When you're together, you're together. You go together. And I need to get used to that, too. It's okay. But if he's going to tone it down, so do I need to. And I have to a large extent, but I need to go even more. He's mine and I'm his and for as long as this lasts, I want it to be great, and I want to know that I'm putting everything into it because he is what I've been looking for and I want nothing else.