(no subject)
ugh. 6 more weeks of school and im DONE. i cant wait. midterms/finals have and will be kicking my ass the whole time. then, quite possibly, a trip to sunny, tropical brazil to frolic in waterfalls, laze around on islands, visit one of the seven wonders of the world, etc, for about a month. but then: home. dont get me wrong, i miss everyone at home SO MUCH but...im really not ready for it. partly because theres so much i havent done here: places to see, things to do, spanish to polish. but partly because...i dont really know what im returning to. i mean, all i ever wanted before this was to leave ann arbor and go back to my scs life. but now, i have friends in ann arbor, amazing friends who ive lived with and traveled with and shared this incredible experience in my life with for the past 6 months. i have 2 jobs waiting for me. i have a relatively cheap place to live with roommates i love...now that im done with the place for good.
its just...i feel ive finally outgrown the scs life that served as a transition between high school and adulthood - bumming around the deacons house, working at the ford house or baby-sitting or something lame, on and off and on and off and on and off forever and ever with jason, fighting with my sisters, fighting with my parents, curfews...im not really down for it. and, lets face it, many of yall that i love to death and consider my best friends still, well, i havent really been an integral part of your collective social lives since high school. even liz, who has always BEEN my social life, my role in her life seems to be diminishing, or at least changing. this is not to say i dont/wont consider any of my old friends my best friends anymore, but i wonder: will i be coming back to interrupt everyones lives? or to sit around by myself?
dont get me wrong. im excited to see everyone, and it will be good to be back. i just feel, for the first time in my life, that i dont have a home to go back to. i feel like ill be going back to my parents house. its a strange feeling.
its just...i feel ive finally outgrown the scs life that served as a transition between high school and adulthood - bumming around the deacons house, working at the ford house or baby-sitting or something lame, on and off and on and off and on and off forever and ever with jason, fighting with my sisters, fighting with my parents, curfews...im not really down for it. and, lets face it, many of yall that i love to death and consider my best friends still, well, i havent really been an integral part of your collective social lives since high school. even liz, who has always BEEN my social life, my role in her life seems to be diminishing, or at least changing. this is not to say i dont/wont consider any of my old friends my best friends anymore, but i wonder: will i be coming back to interrupt everyones lives? or to sit around by myself?
dont get me wrong. im excited to see everyone, and it will be good to be back. i just feel, for the first time in my life, that i dont have a home to go back to. i feel like ill be going back to my parents house. its a strange feeling.