Ding Dong, the Shitbird's Fled
Bush went up in a helicopter and off the stage of world politics, where he probably should never have been in the first place on account of a severe case of teh Stupids.
The Great White Dope is probably going to crank out some awful memoir about how he was right all the time because Jesus loves him and then he'll probably get some vastly unsuitable job chairing an international committee on global warming. Okay, it's a stretch, because what Bush knows about geological time could be written on the back of Sarah Palin's personality, but hey - being one of the most hated human beings in the Arab world didn't stop Tony Blair from mysteriously becoming a Middle East peace envoy.
The bigger mystery is why Tony hasn't been buried in a vast pile of shoes already.
Nice to see Dick Cheney had his exit strategy worked out too. This is what's known in the Internationally Reknowned Monster business as 'Pulling a Pinochet' - look all frail and remind the world that you've had several heart attacks and hopefully they won't indict you for war-crimes.
Yes, I know - I'm terribly unclassy for laughing at an old man in a wheelchair, but it was just a pulled muscle. It wasn't like he'd been shot in the face or anything. Apparently Cthulhu Cheney sprained a tentacle moving boxes out of his creepy observatory - and I laughed twice as hard knowing that Dick Cheney now has to move his own shit and doesn't have 'people' to do it for him.
I'm being mean, of course. The right wingers were very well behaved today. It was especially nice of Rick Warren to interrupt his bad hair day to deliver a trashy prayer full of weird and random meaningless inflections and pronounce Sasha and Malia as if they were some kind of freaky-deaky foreigner names.
Incidentally, Michelle? You and your mother need to warn those adorable girls about seemingly nice ladies wearing way too much blusher and Tina Fey glasses. Apparently Serena's invitation "got lost in the post" and while she says she's incredibly busy in Alaska and couldn't have come anyway, you'd better believe she's currently dipping spindles in Valium.
It was a nice day, though. Obama came out looking like he'd cropdusted the corridor behind him and was smiling mirthlessly in that 'I was told smiling repressed your gag reflex but THIS IS NOT WORKING. Please God don't let me ralph all over the Bible.'
Good. If the job doesn't terrify you to the point of digestive malfunction it would mean you were probably a sociopath or a moron. And thankfully Obama looked queasy as fuck. Qualification in itself.
Nice nod to the 'non-believers' there too. Of course, Obama knows that atheists do not eat babies' faces off because his mother was one and he definitely still has a face. (Maybe his grandparents smeared his face in anchovy sauce to prevent their Godless daughter from giving in to her terrible cannibalistic tendencies. Maybe. Although the explanation that atheists do not eat babies' faces off is far more likely.)
Heaps of fun, really. Can't believe Bush has finally gone. Has it really only been eight years?
The Great White Dope is probably going to crank out some awful memoir about how he was right all the time because Jesus loves him and then he'll probably get some vastly unsuitable job chairing an international committee on global warming. Okay, it's a stretch, because what Bush knows about geological time could be written on the back of Sarah Palin's personality, but hey - being one of the most hated human beings in the Arab world didn't stop Tony Blair from mysteriously becoming a Middle East peace envoy.
The bigger mystery is why Tony hasn't been buried in a vast pile of shoes already.
Nice to see Dick Cheney had his exit strategy worked out too. This is what's known in the Internationally Reknowned Monster business as 'Pulling a Pinochet' - look all frail and remind the world that you've had several heart attacks and hopefully they won't indict you for war-crimes.
Yes, I know - I'm terribly unclassy for laughing at an old man in a wheelchair, but it was just a pulled muscle. It wasn't like he'd been shot in the face or anything. Apparently Cthulhu Cheney sprained a tentacle moving boxes out of his creepy observatory - and I laughed twice as hard knowing that Dick Cheney now has to move his own shit and doesn't have 'people' to do it for him.
I'm being mean, of course. The right wingers were very well behaved today. It was especially nice of Rick Warren to interrupt his bad hair day to deliver a trashy prayer full of weird and random meaningless inflections and pronounce Sasha and Malia as if they were some kind of freaky-deaky foreigner names.
Incidentally, Michelle? You and your mother need to warn those adorable girls about seemingly nice ladies wearing way too much blusher and Tina Fey glasses. Apparently Serena's invitation "got lost in the post" and while she says she's incredibly busy in Alaska and couldn't have come anyway, you'd better believe she's currently dipping spindles in Valium.
It was a nice day, though. Obama came out looking like he'd cropdusted the corridor behind him and was smiling mirthlessly in that 'I was told smiling repressed your gag reflex but THIS IS NOT WORKING. Please God don't let me ralph all over the Bible.'
Good. If the job doesn't terrify you to the point of digestive malfunction it would mean you were probably a sociopath or a moron. And thankfully Obama looked queasy as fuck. Qualification in itself.
Nice nod to the 'non-believers' there too. Of course, Obama knows that atheists do not eat babies' faces off because his mother was one and he definitely still has a face. (Maybe his grandparents smeared his face in anchovy sauce to prevent their Godless daughter from giving in to her terrible cannibalistic tendencies. Maybe. Although the explanation that atheists do not eat babies' faces off is far more likely.)
Heaps of fun, really. Can't believe Bush has finally gone. Has it really only been eight years?