I just need to rant.
Good news: I've made friends with a Japanese mom with a daughter around my own daughter's age. This has gotten me invited to a bunch of Japanese mom playdate groups where we both can practice our language skills.
Bad news: It's made me realize an ugly side to myself.
I had an okay time at the first play group. But it was smaller, and less chaotic. I was still able to talk to new people and not feel totally social awkward and everyone was amazed I had never actually been to Japan. Score.
Second playgroup meeting? Arg. Most of the other people wouldn't give me the time of day, and my one friend was busy swooning over a new friend who is a professional ballet dancer, teaches Mommy and Me classes, has a bilingually fluent son, and designs wedding dresses in her spare time. I mean REALLY? Really? Does a person like that exist? I mean, the other things, sure. But the wedding dresses? Really?
And I know I'm just jealous and feeling inferior and intimidated and it all just feels like high school all over again. And I really hate that part of myself. The part that feels jealous and feels inferior and feels intimidated. I have a happy life and wonderful family and there is zero reason for me to feel inferior. Zero. And I'm just pissed at myself that I do.
Bad news: It's made me realize an ugly side to myself.
I had an okay time at the first play group. But it was smaller, and less chaotic. I was still able to talk to new people and not feel totally social awkward and everyone was amazed I had never actually been to Japan. Score.
Second playgroup meeting? Arg. Most of the other people wouldn't give me the time of day, and my one friend was busy swooning over a new friend who is a professional ballet dancer, teaches Mommy and Me classes, has a bilingually fluent son, and designs wedding dresses in her spare time. I mean REALLY? Really? Does a person like that exist? I mean, the other things, sure. But the wedding dresses? Really?
And I know I'm just jealous and feeling inferior and intimidated and it all just feels like high school all over again. And I really hate that part of myself. The part that feels jealous and feels inferior and feels intimidated. I have a happy life and wonderful family and there is zero reason for me to feel inferior. Zero. And I'm just pissed at myself that I do.