Purge purge purge
Hi there. Thought i'd stop by for a mind purge.
Ashton is playing football again this year, which takes up a lot of time. I could go on an on about how I'm super mom and football takes up 12-16 hours per week, but that'd be a lie. Most evenings I drop him off at the field, come home, cook dinner, handle support calls for work, try to supress the headache (that I ALWAYS seem to have) and then go pick him back up. Since one of my friends is the coach AND this is his second year playing AND I know most of the players from our neighborhood AND I can get to the field in 5 minutes (literally) I don't feel too guilty about just dropping him off. His team is doing really well this year. I'm proud of the little guys. This Sunday is our last regular season game, and then we start the post season playoffs. He really is growing up SO FAST.
I can't seem to pry myself away from the election this year. I've been an Obama supporter since the first whispers of his running, even before it was official... but I don't think that is why I'm so involved... its because things are truly terrifying right now and I think this election is so important. Some would say the most important in our lifetime, but I tend to feel that was the LAST election. Prior to McCain choosing Palin as his running mate I thought "Well, he has a history of voting in line with George Bush, but I think with a democratic congress we'll be OK... at least it can't get any worse"... With her in his camp I've contemplated what it would be like to live in Ireland for four years!
If anyone watched the debate last night I was mentioned TWICE by Obama and ONCE by McCain... didja hear it between all that Joe the Plumber talk? Ok, maybe not ME... and maybe not as pointedly as they talked about ol' Joe... but what I do for a living was a topic in the debate. Obama said that he thinks the Electronic Health Records and Preventative/Health Improvement Plans are needed tohelp heal the current health care system. McCain said that he thinks one of the areas for improvement for Community Health Centers. -- Hi, Guys, you just described ME.
I work for a Health Improvement Company that uses Electronic Medical Records to track patient outcomes and develop patient care improvement models in Community Health Centers. I'm hoping that with mention on both sides of the line that I still have a job after the election :P
And speaking of work. It is killing me. I am so worn out every single day, and there is just never enough time, money or resources to do everything we need to do. Ya see, my company is a non-profit grant funded organization. I actually work for the "good guys" in health care. I manage the clinical applications team. I kind of ended up with this position because when I started I *was* the clinical applications team. As we have grown I have become the HBIC for my division of the organization. This isn't saying much, because we still only have 14 full time employees and a host of contract employees. So it isn't like my side of things are that big. I do manage 2 full time Clinical Application Coordinators, 1 part time CAC, 1 part time administrative reporting specialist and 1 contract lab specialist. The problem isn't in the managing or dealing with the staff that I *do* have. It is what I *don't* have. I need more staff. See, we got a new grant on September 1st of this year. It was a niiiiiice grant, but it also has very high expectations. We have until September 1st 2009 to implement the EHR and Care Model for 75 Full Time Clinicians at Community Health Centers. Given that the average implementation takes 18-22 weeks from start to finish, this is HARD to do. We will have to have multiple sites going at one time. Ok, we can do that... but we don't have enough PEOPLE to do it. My bosses, the company CEO and CIO, are hesitant to hire anyone new because they don't want to have to lay anyone off next year if there isn't enough non-implementation work to sustain the position. I say, lets cross that bridge when we come to it. We won't GET to next year if we don't bring people in... at least thats the arguement I keep making.
But then I have days like today.
Today I sat in a meeting with the manager of the business applications and our project coordinator. Now the project coordinator has a purpose and does her job. Mainly she creates data collection tools, applications, project agreements and other types of documentation. She also ensures that all data is received back from sites during pre-implementation and sets the schedule for the implementation. My point is, she has a job and she does her job.
One of the things that I have to do over the next 30 days (yes, just 30 days) is do an EHR Readiness Assessment on 6 Community Health Centers in WV. This isn't so hard in theory. I can walk into a site, talk to the administration for 30 minutes, talk to the docs for 30 minutes and tell ya if the place is ready to go electronic... but that isn't exactly what my superiors are looking for. The problem with what they want is that it doesn't exist... at least not for us. I have to come up with the things I know *I* need to know regarding readiness, and the things that are national standards of transistion to electronic and convey them to the Project Coordinator for her to make a form. But the form also has to be vague enough that I can use my experience to help guide the assessment. All this is still do-able... but it's just me. What I have found is that no matter HOW MUCH staff I hire, I'm always the most senior person. I always know a little (lot) more because of all that I had to do when there wasn't anyone else.
I feel like I've got all this STUFF inside me that I desperately WANT everyone else to have, but there isn't a way to just dump three years of experiences into someones head. My lessons learned and fuck ups are what makes me so good at my job today. But that still means that I'm sitting on staff that COULD do more (hours wise per week) but CAN'T do more, because they don't know what I know. And I don't know how to make them know. I can teach the point and click of the software. I can explain the care model. I can define the patient outcomes and achievement goals. But I can't seem to get anyone to the point where they see it all fit together the way I do. When I do an assessment of a place I look at the number of docs and how well they know how to use a computer. I take into account the reports the clinic needs to be able to prepare to keep or enhance their federal funding. I look at the nursing staff and find their strengths and weaknesses. I look at the effeciency of non-clinical staff when considering the patient visit time and work flow... and I know how to put it all together. I DON'T know how to make other people know how to do that.
I'm a fuck up personally. I can't keep a boyfriend or hang up my laundry. I'm completely lax in my adherence to business rules and showing up for work "on time". I was a good NICU nurse, but I didn't have the attention span to stay doing the same thing for 30 years. But then I found this job. I'm good at this job. I'm great at this job. The computer stuff just makes complete sense to me, and I can go in and read the code as well or better than any of my techs. The patient outcomes and how to measure and improve them just make sense to me. I lucked into this job through a random Sunday paper ad... but it is the career I was looking for... but it is the career that I don't know if I can mentally sustain. I spend all day every day focused on this job. When I go to bed at night I'm mentally creating the next days to-do list.
I'm exhausted and grumpy all the time... but I still love what I do. I love finding ONE THING in life that I am good at. But I'm just so, completely ill equipped to handle it. I need to figure out how to bring everything together for my staff or else I'm going to drowned.
And on the can't hold onto a boyfriend note. I still want to be with Robert. I know that is completely insane since it has been over a year since we were together in any type of more-than-friends category... but I think that is why I can't get/hold a boyfriend. Everyone I meet is so NOT Robert, and thats how I look at them. I want to meet someone that DOESNT make me think that, but with all the work I don't think THATS gonna happen anytime soon.
And I'm getting older. I'm 5 months away from 30. My credit is horrible. I don't own my own home. I can't have anymore kids (shouldnt for medical reasons, cant for lack of partner). I'm unhealthy and overweight. I smoke too much and can't seem to quit. I didn't want to be so fucked up at 30.
Wow... this was a long one. Sorry ya'll.
Ashton is playing football again this year, which takes up a lot of time. I could go on an on about how I'm super mom and football takes up 12-16 hours per week, but that'd be a lie. Most evenings I drop him off at the field, come home, cook dinner, handle support calls for work, try to supress the headache (that I ALWAYS seem to have) and then go pick him back up. Since one of my friends is the coach AND this is his second year playing AND I know most of the players from our neighborhood AND I can get to the field in 5 minutes (literally) I don't feel too guilty about just dropping him off. His team is doing really well this year. I'm proud of the little guys. This Sunday is our last regular season game, and then we start the post season playoffs. He really is growing up SO FAST.
I can't seem to pry myself away from the election this year. I've been an Obama supporter since the first whispers of his running, even before it was official... but I don't think that is why I'm so involved... its because things are truly terrifying right now and I think this election is so important. Some would say the most important in our lifetime, but I tend to feel that was the LAST election. Prior to McCain choosing Palin as his running mate I thought "Well, he has a history of voting in line with George Bush, but I think with a democratic congress we'll be OK... at least it can't get any worse"... With her in his camp I've contemplated what it would be like to live in Ireland for four years!
If anyone watched the debate last night I was mentioned TWICE by Obama and ONCE by McCain... didja hear it between all that Joe the Plumber talk? Ok, maybe not ME... and maybe not as pointedly as they talked about ol' Joe... but what I do for a living was a topic in the debate. Obama said that he thinks the Electronic Health Records and Preventative/Health Improvement Plans are needed tohelp heal the current health care system. McCain said that he thinks one of the areas for improvement for Community Health Centers. -- Hi, Guys, you just described ME.
I work for a Health Improvement Company that uses Electronic Medical Records to track patient outcomes and develop patient care improvement models in Community Health Centers. I'm hoping that with mention on both sides of the line that I still have a job after the election :P
And speaking of work. It is killing me. I am so worn out every single day, and there is just never enough time, money or resources to do everything we need to do. Ya see, my company is a non-profit grant funded organization. I actually work for the "good guys" in health care. I manage the clinical applications team. I kind of ended up with this position because when I started I *was* the clinical applications team. As we have grown I have become the HBIC for my division of the organization. This isn't saying much, because we still only have 14 full time employees and a host of contract employees. So it isn't like my side of things are that big. I do manage 2 full time Clinical Application Coordinators, 1 part time CAC, 1 part time administrative reporting specialist and 1 contract lab specialist. The problem isn't in the managing or dealing with the staff that I *do* have. It is what I *don't* have. I need more staff. See, we got a new grant on September 1st of this year. It was a niiiiiice grant, but it also has very high expectations. We have until September 1st 2009 to implement the EHR and Care Model for 75 Full Time Clinicians at Community Health Centers. Given that the average implementation takes 18-22 weeks from start to finish, this is HARD to do. We will have to have multiple sites going at one time. Ok, we can do that... but we don't have enough PEOPLE to do it. My bosses, the company CEO and CIO, are hesitant to hire anyone new because they don't want to have to lay anyone off next year if there isn't enough non-implementation work to sustain the position. I say, lets cross that bridge when we come to it. We won't GET to next year if we don't bring people in... at least thats the arguement I keep making.
But then I have days like today.
Today I sat in a meeting with the manager of the business applications and our project coordinator. Now the project coordinator has a purpose and does her job. Mainly she creates data collection tools, applications, project agreements and other types of documentation. She also ensures that all data is received back from sites during pre-implementation and sets the schedule for the implementation. My point is, she has a job and she does her job.
One of the things that I have to do over the next 30 days (yes, just 30 days) is do an EHR Readiness Assessment on 6 Community Health Centers in WV. This isn't so hard in theory. I can walk into a site, talk to the administration for 30 minutes, talk to the docs for 30 minutes and tell ya if the place is ready to go electronic... but that isn't exactly what my superiors are looking for. The problem with what they want is that it doesn't exist... at least not for us. I have to come up with the things I know *I* need to know regarding readiness, and the things that are national standards of transistion to electronic and convey them to the Project Coordinator for her to make a form. But the form also has to be vague enough that I can use my experience to help guide the assessment. All this is still do-able... but it's just me. What I have found is that no matter HOW MUCH staff I hire, I'm always the most senior person. I always know a little (lot) more because of all that I had to do when there wasn't anyone else.
I feel like I've got all this STUFF inside me that I desperately WANT everyone else to have, but there isn't a way to just dump three years of experiences into someones head. My lessons learned and fuck ups are what makes me so good at my job today. But that still means that I'm sitting on staff that COULD do more (hours wise per week) but CAN'T do more, because they don't know what I know. And I don't know how to make them know. I can teach the point and click of the software. I can explain the care model. I can define the patient outcomes and achievement goals. But I can't seem to get anyone to the point where they see it all fit together the way I do. When I do an assessment of a place I look at the number of docs and how well they know how to use a computer. I take into account the reports the clinic needs to be able to prepare to keep or enhance their federal funding. I look at the nursing staff and find their strengths and weaknesses. I look at the effeciency of non-clinical staff when considering the patient visit time and work flow... and I know how to put it all together. I DON'T know how to make other people know how to do that.
I'm a fuck up personally. I can't keep a boyfriend or hang up my laundry. I'm completely lax in my adherence to business rules and showing up for work "on time". I was a good NICU nurse, but I didn't have the attention span to stay doing the same thing for 30 years. But then I found this job. I'm good at this job. I'm great at this job. The computer stuff just makes complete sense to me, and I can go in and read the code as well or better than any of my techs. The patient outcomes and how to measure and improve them just make sense to me. I lucked into this job through a random Sunday paper ad... but it is the career I was looking for... but it is the career that I don't know if I can mentally sustain. I spend all day every day focused on this job. When I go to bed at night I'm mentally creating the next days to-do list.
I'm exhausted and grumpy all the time... but I still love what I do. I love finding ONE THING in life that I am good at. But I'm just so, completely ill equipped to handle it. I need to figure out how to bring everything together for my staff or else I'm going to drowned.
And on the can't hold onto a boyfriend note. I still want to be with Robert. I know that is completely insane since it has been over a year since we were together in any type of more-than-friends category... but I think that is why I can't get/hold a boyfriend. Everyone I meet is so NOT Robert, and thats how I look at them. I want to meet someone that DOESNT make me think that, but with all the work I don't think THATS gonna happen anytime soon.
And I'm getting older. I'm 5 months away from 30. My credit is horrible. I don't own my own home. I can't have anymore kids (shouldnt for medical reasons, cant for lack of partner). I'm unhealthy and overweight. I smoke too much and can't seem to quit. I didn't want to be so fucked up at 30.
Wow... this was a long one. Sorry ya'll.