Annual update
Wow. It really has been almost a year since I've updated this thing. Thats so odd because I read my FL every day. I wish I could update with some great big story about how everything turned around in the past year and I'm this completely fabulous soul... when in fact, I'm still just me.
I still have the same job, although I did get slightly more staff, we got loads more work... so I still can't get it all done. I still have the same house, although I've purchased it AND am looking to buy some land to build. Rest assured that IF I build I'll probably post a lot. But that won't be for a few years.
I'm slightly more confused right now than I was at my last post. The last time I posted I was lamenting about how I still couldn't get over Robert and that was an incredible impotence to me meeting anyone new. Shortly after that post I took a leap at an EX that really just started as a leap to break the awkwardness between he and I, and also help getting over Robert. Well, since last October that has grown by bounds and he and I have done as well as we can in the closest thing I've had to a real relationship in years. I still describe it in such a way, because, for anyone who cares to remember the name, the EX is Richard. Yep, married Richard, married to Leigh. Now Leigh and I started talking again two years ago and things remained just between she and I for a year. During that time she advised me that he missed me and loved me and help guide me towards taking that leap. She assured me she was over her insecurities and all the things that caused us to fail the first time. So anyway, we've been sailing along since last October. We started with baby steps but over the past 4 or so months it has started moving pretty fast and gotten pretty emotional and very involved. During this increase in volocity some of Leighs old insecurities came out and instead of just forcing things to end this time she's trying to work on things. All in all, I really don't know how this will turn out.
BUT, thats not why Im confused. I'm confused because the SECOND that Robert heard I was seeing someone he popped back in the picture. He's been calling and texting and skyping more frequently. Well he JUST called me and we talked for an hour and a half. He asked me to come down to his house (Alabama) sometime in the next few weeks. He even said he would pay for the gas for me to get down there. He ALSO said for me to bring Ashton. He said he wants he and I to come down and has it all planned out. We'll go jet skiing and Ash can play with his nephews and sleep in his own bedroom while he's there and and and... so it all sounds PERFECT... except the dude does the complete disappearing act the second I'm single. He is only interested right now because he knows im "with" someone.
I don't feel like I should pass up any opportunities for the sake of Richard and Leigh. They have never chosen to "pass up" each other for me (not that I asked them to) and really at any given point if either one of them said to the other that it had ti quit they would walk away never talking to me again. Its hard to be secure in the stability of your relationship when you know at any moment someone ELSE can end it for you. So, I don't feel like I should pass up any opportunities. But... is Robert an opportunity? I think at one time he was, but I think right now he's just got this testosterone based competition thing going on. I DON'T want to rish what I have with Richard on something that won't ever be real.
Why do men do that? Why is it that when you are single and willing and wanting to be in a relationship they RUN far far away, but the second they think you aren't available any more they act like you're the bees knees?
And why do I tend to fall for it every single time?
Oh! Ash and I are going on vacation this month to San Diego! WOO! We're going out there with Tim and Ally. The two of them are going to the San Diego Comic Con and Ash and I are going to do the touristy fun stuff like the zoo and SeaWorld. Tim's only going to the con for one day so that he has time to do the vacationy stuff with me and Ash. I'm really looking forward to this trip... I think it's going to be great and a much needed mental break.
Ok, well I guess thats it for my annual update. Pretty dull huh? Basically the exact same things I always write about. Have a nice year ya'll.
I still have the same job, although I did get slightly more staff, we got loads more work... so I still can't get it all done. I still have the same house, although I've purchased it AND am looking to buy some land to build. Rest assured that IF I build I'll probably post a lot. But that won't be for a few years.
I'm slightly more confused right now than I was at my last post. The last time I posted I was lamenting about how I still couldn't get over Robert and that was an incredible impotence to me meeting anyone new. Shortly after that post I took a leap at an EX that really just started as a leap to break the awkwardness between he and I, and also help getting over Robert. Well, since last October that has grown by bounds and he and I have done as well as we can in the closest thing I've had to a real relationship in years. I still describe it in such a way, because, for anyone who cares to remember the name, the EX is Richard. Yep, married Richard, married to Leigh. Now Leigh and I started talking again two years ago and things remained just between she and I for a year. During that time she advised me that he missed me and loved me and help guide me towards taking that leap. She assured me she was over her insecurities and all the things that caused us to fail the first time. So anyway, we've been sailing along since last October. We started with baby steps but over the past 4 or so months it has started moving pretty fast and gotten pretty emotional and very involved. During this increase in volocity some of Leighs old insecurities came out and instead of just forcing things to end this time she's trying to work on things. All in all, I really don't know how this will turn out.
BUT, thats not why Im confused. I'm confused because the SECOND that Robert heard I was seeing someone he popped back in the picture. He's been calling and texting and skyping more frequently. Well he JUST called me and we talked for an hour and a half. He asked me to come down to his house (Alabama) sometime in the next few weeks. He even said he would pay for the gas for me to get down there. He ALSO said for me to bring Ashton. He said he wants he and I to come down and has it all planned out. We'll go jet skiing and Ash can play with his nephews and sleep in his own bedroom while he's there and and and... so it all sounds PERFECT... except the dude does the complete disappearing act the second I'm single. He is only interested right now because he knows im "with" someone.
I don't feel like I should pass up any opportunities for the sake of Richard and Leigh. They have never chosen to "pass up" each other for me (not that I asked them to) and really at any given point if either one of them said to the other that it had ti quit they would walk away never talking to me again. Its hard to be secure in the stability of your relationship when you know at any moment someone ELSE can end it for you. So, I don't feel like I should pass up any opportunities. But... is Robert an opportunity? I think at one time he was, but I think right now he's just got this testosterone based competition thing going on. I DON'T want to rish what I have with Richard on something that won't ever be real.
Why do men do that? Why is it that when you are single and willing and wanting to be in a relationship they RUN far far away, but the second they think you aren't available any more they act like you're the bees knees?
And why do I tend to fall for it every single time?
Oh! Ash and I are going on vacation this month to San Diego! WOO! We're going out there with Tim and Ally. The two of them are going to the San Diego Comic Con and Ash and I are going to do the touristy fun stuff like the zoo and SeaWorld. Tim's only going to the con for one day so that he has time to do the vacationy stuff with me and Ash. I'm really looking forward to this trip... I think it's going to be great and a much needed mental break.
Ok, well I guess thats it for my annual update. Pretty dull huh? Basically the exact same things I always write about. Have a nice year ya'll.