my new hero
1.Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3.Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4.The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5.If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
6.Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
7.Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
8.To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
9.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
10.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
2.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
3.Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
4.The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
5.If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
6.Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
7.Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
8.To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
9.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
10.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.