Time to Pack!
I really need to start packing. I move into my dorm on Saturday and I haven't even really started yet. I don't have much to do, though, seeing as how I barely even unpacked when I moved back home :P I probably won't be packing too many clothes. Just enough casual wear for about a week, then some dresses, a pair of slacks, pajamas and some skirts (maybe a sweater or two in case it starts getting cold before fall break). There's no more shopping to do since I already have my dorm basics from last year and my mom has a small stockpile of toiletries in the basement. I just need to gather it all in one place and print out visitor passes.
I can't wait to see my friends, but I can't help but feel a little bad that I haven't really spent too much time with my family this summer (except around the time of the funeral). My dad's kind of disappointed that we didn't go on any family trips or anything (but then again, our car was in the process of breaking down so maybe it's a good thing). My whole musical obsession hasn't really helped either. Luckily (or sadly), the height of my obsession seems to have passed (god knows what would have happened if I had gotten hooked while in school!). I just hope I don't get addicted to anything else or have a relapse (the Elisabeth tour starts up again in October and Dracula: L'amour plus fort que la mort premieres in September).
But anyway, speaking of my relationship with my family...I realized that I haven't really been doing my best at anything lately, but this is most evident in my role as a member of my family. I've been spending a lot of time bitching about how me and my parents don't really see eye to eye on certain things and about my struggle between doing what I want to do while vying for their approval. Basically, I did have an Ich Gehor Nür Mir moment and, as in the musical, I ended up alienating myself from my family for a bit, thinking that it would be my only way of gaining freedom. Yeah, I'm not very genre savvy am I? But now that I've come to this realization, I've decided to make an effort. I managed to rip myself away from Youtube in order to go shopping with my mom and I even managed to have a conversation with my parents about my dorm.
In general I'm making a conscious decision to be better. I'm going to make an effort to think about others more, get in the habit of doing things for myself rather than always asking/demanding others for help and I'll call my parents once a week (Sunday night seems ideal). On top of that I'll try to fangirl in moderation. Balancing school, my social/family life and my fangirling's going to be a challenge. I tend to have trouble saying "no" to people/myself/situations. I guess this year might be a bit easier because I'll be living near most of my friends so I won't feel too guilty about not hanging out with them so much.
I'm not going to lie. I've made promises like this before and obviously, I've so far been unsuccessful. But that doesn't really matter, does it? As long as I keep trying, I'm still in the game which means I still have a chance at winning. Even better, I probably gained a bit of knowledge from my failures, which would only increase my chances of winning. I should probably write out some of the things I've learned so I don't forget them any time soon:
1. I've said this before, but it's worth saying again: It doesn't matter how uncomfortable you are, the world stops for no one.
2. It's safe to assume that someone is always watching.
3. You aren't alone. Not in a creepy way. I mean, you don't need to live in a vacuum in order to accomplish things. You have friends and family to support you.
4. That being said, sometimes you should step back and be on your own for a bit. Don't be afraid of being alone.
5. Schedules need to be flexible, otherwise if one thing doesn't go as planned your whole day falls apart.
6. The longer you wait, the harder it is to get started.
7. Honor your cravings. If you really want to watch that adorable clip of Shahrukh Khan and Kajol, by all means DO IT SO YOU CAN FINALLY START CONCENTRATING ON GETTING WORK DONE!
8. Don't participate in the fandom too much, while it's fun sometimes it seems like these days some fans just get way too personal about different opnions. Plus, it gets to be such a timesuck.
9. Change is never easy. Even if it's change for the better. Change doesn't come immediately and it doesn't come by just deciding to change or promising to change. You need to make a conscious effort every moment of every day.
10. Keep your expectations realistic.
That seems like a good list. Now I'd like to leave on a happier note:
I've been wondering what a high school production of Elisabeth would look like. I've seen plenty of amateur productions done by colleges in China (a lot of them look really good!) but I want to imagine what it would be like to stage Elisabeth at my old high school. That might be a fun pet project for the month (not actually staging the musical, but maybe come up with some ideas for sets and blocking. But who knows, if I do a good job, maybe I can do some sort of volunteer project for a high school or something). I was also thinking of translating the musical (or, at least, the English subs that I've found for the musical) into Spanish, just so I can practice (lately I've been putting Spanish and Chinese on the backburner while I've been studying Hindi and dabbling in Magyar).
I can't wait to see my friends, but I can't help but feel a little bad that I haven't really spent too much time with my family this summer (except around the time of the funeral). My dad's kind of disappointed that we didn't go on any family trips or anything (but then again, our car was in the process of breaking down so maybe it's a good thing). My whole musical obsession hasn't really helped either. Luckily (or sadly), the height of my obsession seems to have passed (god knows what would have happened if I had gotten hooked while in school!). I just hope I don't get addicted to anything else or have a relapse (the Elisabeth tour starts up again in October and Dracula: L'amour plus fort que la mort premieres in September).
But anyway, speaking of my relationship with my family...I realized that I haven't really been doing my best at anything lately, but this is most evident in my role as a member of my family. I've been spending a lot of time bitching about how me and my parents don't really see eye to eye on certain things and about my struggle between doing what I want to do while vying for their approval. Basically, I did have an Ich Gehor Nür Mir moment and, as in the musical, I ended up alienating myself from my family for a bit, thinking that it would be my only way of gaining freedom. Yeah, I'm not very genre savvy am I? But now that I've come to this realization, I've decided to make an effort. I managed to rip myself away from Youtube in order to go shopping with my mom and I even managed to have a conversation with my parents about my dorm.
In general I'm making a conscious decision to be better. I'm going to make an effort to think about others more, get in the habit of doing things for myself rather than always asking/demanding others for help and I'll call my parents once a week (Sunday night seems ideal). On top of that I'll try to fangirl in moderation. Balancing school, my social/family life and my fangirling's going to be a challenge. I tend to have trouble saying "no" to people/myself/situations. I guess this year might be a bit easier because I'll be living near most of my friends so I won't feel too guilty about not hanging out with them so much.
I'm not going to lie. I've made promises like this before and obviously, I've so far been unsuccessful. But that doesn't really matter, does it? As long as I keep trying, I'm still in the game which means I still have a chance at winning. Even better, I probably gained a bit of knowledge from my failures, which would only increase my chances of winning. I should probably write out some of the things I've learned so I don't forget them any time soon:
1. I've said this before, but it's worth saying again: It doesn't matter how uncomfortable you are, the world stops for no one.
2. It's safe to assume that someone is always watching.
3. You aren't alone. Not in a creepy way. I mean, you don't need to live in a vacuum in order to accomplish things. You have friends and family to support you.
4. That being said, sometimes you should step back and be on your own for a bit. Don't be afraid of being alone.
5. Schedules need to be flexible, otherwise if one thing doesn't go as planned your whole day falls apart.
6. The longer you wait, the harder it is to get started.
7. Honor your cravings. If you really want to watch that adorable clip of Shahrukh Khan and Kajol, by all means DO IT SO YOU CAN FINALLY START CONCENTRATING ON GETTING WORK DONE!
8. Don't participate in the fandom too much, while it's fun sometimes it seems like these days some fans just get way too personal about different opnions. Plus, it gets to be such a timesuck.
9. Change is never easy. Even if it's change for the better. Change doesn't come immediately and it doesn't come by just deciding to change or promising to change. You need to make a conscious effort every moment of every day.
10. Keep your expectations realistic.
That seems like a good list. Now I'd like to leave on a happier note:
I've been wondering what a high school production of Elisabeth would look like. I've seen plenty of amateur productions done by colleges in China (a lot of them look really good!) but I want to imagine what it would be like to stage Elisabeth at my old high school. That might be a fun pet project for the month (not actually staging the musical, but maybe come up with some ideas for sets and blocking. But who knows, if I do a good job, maybe I can do some sort of volunteer project for a high school or something). I was also thinking of translating the musical (or, at least, the English subs that I've found for the musical) into Spanish, just so I can practice (lately I've been putting Spanish and Chinese on the backburner while I've been studying Hindi and dabbling in Magyar).