Be water, my friend.
I moved back on campus yesterday and I have to admit, I'm afraid. I feel like time's running out for me and my first reaction is to crawl back into bed, hide under the blankets and go back to dreaming. I feel like if I just pretend it doesn't exist or if I wait until later, my problems and fears will just go away but, of course, that's not going to happen. Ready or not, I will have to face the world.
I feel like Constanze from Mozart! when she sang Forog A Tanc. All I want to do is have fun and forget about all my responsibilities. Ugh, I hate how no matter what my circumstances I keep finding ways to be unhappy. When I'm at home, I feel like a bum who's wasting her potential and ignoring her family. When I'm at school I feel like I'm constantly trying to catch up. I wake up everyday and face an uncertain future and I can't seem to just forget about that in order to focus on the present. I hate feeling guilty for all the things I do or don't do.
But none of that matters. I just have to keep on going, do the right thing and just stop feeling guilty.
I feel like Constanze from Mozart! when she sang Forog A Tanc. All I want to do is have fun and forget about all my responsibilities. Ugh, I hate how no matter what my circumstances I keep finding ways to be unhappy. When I'm at home, I feel like a bum who's wasting her potential and ignoring her family. When I'm at school I feel like I'm constantly trying to catch up. I wake up everyday and face an uncertain future and I can't seem to just forget about that in order to focus on the present. I hate feeling guilty for all the things I do or don't do.
But none of that matters. I just have to keep on going, do the right thing and just stop feeling guilty.