Jokes of the Week
Thought I'd drop in and try to spread a funny in case any of my flist needs a pick me up!
Towards the end a day at the golf course, Bruce hit his ball into the
woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to
get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every
buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden, POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman
appeared. She said, 'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me
to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't
have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life: better
still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your
life... As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything
the rest of your life!!!'
Then POOF! She was gone!
After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, 'Fred
where are you?'
Fred yells back, 'I'm over here in the pussy willows.'
Dave shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, FRED..FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T SWING!'
Things You Can Only Safely Say On Thanksgiving.................
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. That's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
Towards the end a day at the golf course, Bruce hit his ball into the
woods and found it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups. Trying to
get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every
buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden, POOF!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman
appeared. She said, 'I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me
to make those buttercups? Just for doing what you have done, you won't
have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life: better
still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your
life... As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything
the rest of your life!!!'
Then POOF! She was gone!
After Dave recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, 'Fred
where are you?'
Fred yells back, 'I'm over here in the pussy willows.'
Dave shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, FRED..FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T SWING!'
Things You Can Only Safely Say On Thanksgiving.................
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. That's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!