so weak
i'm still in love with her. everything reminds me of her. and yes, i do mean EVERYTHING. i can't go 5 minutes without thinking about her, wondering if she still thinks about me.
hell, even when i'm with some one else, she is still first on my mind. why is that? why can't i fall out of love with her. i know she's getting on with her life without me, why can't i?
i can't get on without thinking about her. i've never felt like this before. yes i've been in love, yes i'[ve been hurt, and yes i've been able to forget about them and leave them in my past. but you know what, i just can't seem to do that with her.
she was my dream. she was so perfect for me i can't help but want her back. no one can compare to her. i've tried, i've looked, everything goes back to her. no one else can give me the relationship that i had with her. it was bliss. in a couple short months i'll be on my own and in a position to feel like i'm good enough for her. i just hope when the time comes she'll at least talk to me. like right now, god i have to fight the urge to try and call her, or e-mail her, or gggrrrrrrrrrr, god this fucking sucks. i won't be happy until i have her in my life again. for now, false smiles and lies. but i've been doing that for the sake of appearences for my friends and family for years now.
so yeah. please amanda, if you read this, get a hold of me. let me know whats going on in your life. and god, please tell me what happened when i left for alaska.
god, i wish i never fucking left. it was all one big fucking mistake just like the rest of my fucking life
wish i had some drugs to help calm me down
hell, even when i'm with some one else, she is still first on my mind. why is that? why can't i fall out of love with her. i know she's getting on with her life without me, why can't i?
i can't get on without thinking about her. i've never felt like this before. yes i've been in love, yes i'[ve been hurt, and yes i've been able to forget about them and leave them in my past. but you know what, i just can't seem to do that with her.
she was my dream. she was so perfect for me i can't help but want her back. no one can compare to her. i've tried, i've looked, everything goes back to her. no one else can give me the relationship that i had with her. it was bliss. in a couple short months i'll be on my own and in a position to feel like i'm good enough for her. i just hope when the time comes she'll at least talk to me. like right now, god i have to fight the urge to try and call her, or e-mail her, or gggrrrrrrrrrr, god this fucking sucks. i won't be happy until i have her in my life again. for now, false smiles and lies. but i've been doing that for the sake of appearences for my friends and family for years now.
so yeah. please amanda, if you read this, get a hold of me. let me know whats going on in your life. and god, please tell me what happened when i left for alaska.
god, i wish i never fucking left. it was all one big fucking mistake just like the rest of my fucking life
wish i had some drugs to help calm me down