Life, Love... and the persute of happiness..?
I wish I could write in here more. I really want to, I just don't have anywhere to write. I miss having a computer at home. It was so much easier. If John and Alisha are out of here before Sam and I get our own place I just might move back in here. My mum might even let me smoke pot in the house. Then of course move out when Sam and I did find a place... but then what would the point be of moving back in in the first place....? It would probably make my mum sad. To have me back in the house and then leave again. She's been emotional about that kind of stuff lately.
I feel like... I don't know. Very confused. I miss my dad so much. I hardly cried when it happened. I can barely even say that he died. I'm not even 20 years old yet, why do young people have to be put through things like this? I know what happened to me isn't as bad as a lot of things that happen. Mainly because I know a few people my age whose mum or dad have died, but it's always horribly sad. And I know worse things happen, but why? Just life I guess?
It's hard for humans to think about there not being a reason for being here... Why? Why is it so hard to believe that there is no divine creator who molded all of us for a purpose, but really, what could our purpose be? The planet is going to be destroyed in a few million years anyway. And why would we want to preserve humans? We are mean, we kill anything that we don't understand, we waste tons of food and kill things without having any reason. There is no reason to have meaning in life. I think we're here to live a pointless life, have fun, try to be nice to people. Try to make their pointless existence a little better... Until we die. How could there be a heaven? How could there be a hell? How could we be able to "live" after we die as the same person we were before? In some place that has never been found... We just transport there when we die? How hard to believe is that? Honestly, reincarnation is hard to believe too, but easier than that. With reincarnation it's just our soul that goes into another body that isn't born yet. Then our life could almost have a point, but the point would to be good and try to make others lives good. There is no point to being mean and evil and cynical. If you get a lot of money and don't spend it before you die, you can't take it with you. There is no point in dieing with money. And you never know when you're going to die, so why not try to share things with other people... If you have an excess of something, why not share with people who don't have anything? If you died tomorrow, all that stuff would just float, and those people who don't have anything would still not have anything... I wish more people could think like that. Be open and happy and NICE. People are hardly ever nice anymore...
I'm going to go see if my mum has some good food... Even though I want to starve myself... So much...
Love, Erin
I feel like... I don't know. Very confused. I miss my dad so much. I hardly cried when it happened. I can barely even say that he died. I'm not even 20 years old yet, why do young people have to be put through things like this? I know what happened to me isn't as bad as a lot of things that happen. Mainly because I know a few people my age whose mum or dad have died, but it's always horribly sad. And I know worse things happen, but why? Just life I guess?
It's hard for humans to think about there not being a reason for being here... Why? Why is it so hard to believe that there is no divine creator who molded all of us for a purpose, but really, what could our purpose be? The planet is going to be destroyed in a few million years anyway. And why would we want to preserve humans? We are mean, we kill anything that we don't understand, we waste tons of food and kill things without having any reason. There is no reason to have meaning in life. I think we're here to live a pointless life, have fun, try to be nice to people. Try to make their pointless existence a little better... Until we die. How could there be a heaven? How could there be a hell? How could we be able to "live" after we die as the same person we were before? In some place that has never been found... We just transport there when we die? How hard to believe is that? Honestly, reincarnation is hard to believe too, but easier than that. With reincarnation it's just our soul that goes into another body that isn't born yet. Then our life could almost have a point, but the point would to be good and try to make others lives good. There is no point to being mean and evil and cynical. If you get a lot of money and don't spend it before you die, you can't take it with you. There is no point in dieing with money. And you never know when you're going to die, so why not try to share things with other people... If you have an excess of something, why not share with people who don't have anything? If you died tomorrow, all that stuff would just float, and those people who don't have anything would still not have anything... I wish more people could think like that. Be open and happy and NICE. People are hardly ever nice anymore...
I'm going to go see if my mum has some good food... Even though I want to starve myself... So much...
Love, Erin