(no subject)
it's pretty bad right now. i'm antsy and i'm alone at work and i've already wasted hours on the internet just trying to get my mind away from where it is. maybe it's b/c i haven't had solid sleep in 5 days or the coffee has turned my stomach into a uneasy mess, but i feel horrible.
i have this feeling that i'll end up like my grandma. she and my pappy were married 54 years before he died. she has not dated another person. he was the only one for her. and i'm not trying to be melodramatic or pessimistic, but just as sure as i was from the first time that i saw her that i would fall in love with her, i think i'm destined to walk my grandmother's route. anything else would feel like i'm cheating. while there's nobody technically to be cheating on, i'd be deceiving my heart.
yesterday morning i heard a faith hill/tim mcgraw song in the car ride home and i started to cry. i'm one weak motherfucker.
this is so frustrating and i feel so pathetic. this is the shit you get for reading my journal. so many apologies.
i have this feeling that i'll end up like my grandma. she and my pappy were married 54 years before he died. she has not dated another person. he was the only one for her. and i'm not trying to be melodramatic or pessimistic, but just as sure as i was from the first time that i saw her that i would fall in love with her, i think i'm destined to walk my grandmother's route. anything else would feel like i'm cheating. while there's nobody technically to be cheating on, i'd be deceiving my heart.
yesterday morning i heard a faith hill/tim mcgraw song in the car ride home and i started to cry. i'm one weak motherfucker.
this is so frustrating and i feel so pathetic. this is the shit you get for reading my journal. so many apologies.