(no subject)
i like falling asleep crying. i like being able to be honest with myself about where i am and somehow get to the point where i'm comfortable enough to let go. that fluid part between conscious aching and worry free sleep. i woke up in a panic tonight, drenched in sweat. it was completely dark (which working overnights, i have only seen light penetrating through the window blinds) and i gasped for air. my heart was racing and i didn't know what woke me. i immediately jumped out of bed and ran downstairs with the four barking dogs, expecting to see someone waiting at the front door. nobody was there.
i got a latin salsa workout tape. i'll do just about anything to learn how to merenge.
i have a second interview on friday, immediately following a free concert. it'll be my first group interview.
i feel like i've been on a really shitty summer vacation. i had joked back in may that i wanted to take july off, maybe even august, if possible. i used to love the summer but all i can think of is how great the fall will be.
i just put on one of joelle's sweaters and it smells like my first girlfriend. who would have thought that i'd still remember what she smells like after nearly 7 years.