(no subject)
So I'm back from the Festival and what a trip!! Mud ALL OVER!!! My tent couldn't make the watery weather so I moved to another camp...
I were front stage at Orange stage at the opening with Volbeat (dansih band) and I felt so bad I had to sit down in the middle of the crowd - so embarrasing. I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink for over 24 hrs. My friends saw me ans said that my face were all white and my lips and hands all blue..
I almost fainted - a security guard helped me away from the stage, gave me some water and told me to eat something right away. I had to sit for 20 min before I could move away. My dad picked me up and was so sad/mad bc I looked so small and scary. He told me he's sure I weigh less than 50 kilos (110) - I don't think so tho..
I went back to the festival the day after full of food (mum + dad).. I had fun and I met up again with Daniel and I spent the night with him (no sex) and it was so so nice tho he makes me so confused..
I left today and talked with Jacob, I'm seeing him tomorrow. We still miss eachother so much.
My ex is in love with me (claus) - so sad... I don't want him and he tries so bad..
I look smaller tho - I do.. like in my thighs especially. I'm seeing the therapist tomorrowain monday. He's starting weekly weigh-ins again from August bc I look smaller and bc my periods is still missing (7-8 months now) ans bc I'm losing some nails on my toes - ew...
I'm SO scared of getting weighed. I won't be told what I weigh but I know I need to cheat. I can't gain weight!!!
They want me to weigh 57-58 kg!! I think I'm 51.. Dad thinks I'm 48.. yikes
I saw Red Hot Chilipeppers yesterday - baaad bad bad!! it was so bad the concert!
I missed my chemical romance bc of my "black out" and MUSE too - I hate myself for it! Also I missed seeing Justice - the 3 top names I wanted to hear:(
I have summerbreak until September now. Plan for week:
Monday: Therapist + cleaning + Jacob
Thuesday: Group-therapy + something with a friend
Wednesday: DInner with brother + his new puppy;)
Thursday: Cleaning
Friday: Clubbing?
I'm sick .. My lungs hurt so bad!
I were front stage at Orange stage at the opening with Volbeat (dansih band) and I felt so bad I had to sit down in the middle of the crowd - so embarrasing. I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink for over 24 hrs. My friends saw me ans said that my face were all white and my lips and hands all blue..
I almost fainted - a security guard helped me away from the stage, gave me some water and told me to eat something right away. I had to sit for 20 min before I could move away. My dad picked me up and was so sad/mad bc I looked so small and scary. He told me he's sure I weigh less than 50 kilos (110) - I don't think so tho..
I went back to the festival the day after full of food (mum + dad).. I had fun and I met up again with Daniel and I spent the night with him (no sex) and it was so so nice tho he makes me so confused..
I left today and talked with Jacob, I'm seeing him tomorrow. We still miss eachother so much.
My ex is in love with me (claus) - so sad... I don't want him and he tries so bad..
I look smaller tho - I do.. like in my thighs especially. I'm seeing the therapist tomorrowain monday. He's starting weekly weigh-ins again from August bc I look smaller and bc my periods is still missing (7-8 months now) ans bc I'm losing some nails on my toes - ew...
I'm SO scared of getting weighed. I won't be told what I weigh but I know I need to cheat. I can't gain weight!!!
They want me to weigh 57-58 kg!! I think I'm 51.. Dad thinks I'm 48.. yikes
I saw Red Hot Chilipeppers yesterday - baaad bad bad!! it was so bad the concert!
I missed my chemical romance bc of my "black out" and MUSE too - I hate myself for it! Also I missed seeing Justice - the 3 top names I wanted to hear:(
I have summerbreak until September now. Plan for week:
Monday: Therapist + cleaning + Jacob
Thuesday: Group-therapy + something with a friend
Wednesday: DInner with brother + his new puppy;)
Thursday: Cleaning
Friday: Clubbing?
I'm sick .. My lungs hurt so bad!