Backlit Daisies and Messy Minds
My head hurts like it's trying to give birth at the temples.
Inside my head there are cobwebbed mounds of Polaroids, pictures of what i thought my life was or would be. Snapshots of smiles that saved my soul and old words bleeding through dusty pages i barely remember. Cracked calcium deposits lock my synapses.
i'm a stranger to myself and i'm most often gasping for oxygen that's readily available. i still feel like i'm hyperventilating.
i've studied the mirror and i think it's all a mirage. People will see me with what's behind their eyes, regardless of what's in front of them. i'm not a determinist, but i'm not an optimist, either.
i need this big, big house over a green lawn where i can see the sun smile in the sky to help me remember why global warming is such a woe. i want to put my parents there and give my mommy lots of space to paint and make projects with me. i want there to be lab space. i want there to be a big bedroom with drapes and flood windows and little whispers of wind. i want to hang rows of daisies down open windows. i'd love a big creaky porch with a breeze sweet smell and a swing between twin trees in the front yard and water! Lots of water. Lots of friends. Lots of work, but lots of time.
i have so much love and so many ideas, just no time and no space to give them away.
Inside my head there are cobwebbed mounds of Polaroids, pictures of what i thought my life was or would be. Snapshots of smiles that saved my soul and old words bleeding through dusty pages i barely remember. Cracked calcium deposits lock my synapses.
i'm a stranger to myself and i'm most often gasping for oxygen that's readily available. i still feel like i'm hyperventilating.
i've studied the mirror and i think it's all a mirage. People will see me with what's behind their eyes, regardless of what's in front of them. i'm not a determinist, but i'm not an optimist, either.
i need this big, big house over a green lawn where i can see the sun smile in the sky to help me remember why global warming is such a woe. i want to put my parents there and give my mommy lots of space to paint and make projects with me. i want there to be lab space. i want there to be a big bedroom with drapes and flood windows and little whispers of wind. i want to hang rows of daisies down open windows. i'd love a big creaky porch with a breeze sweet smell and a swing between twin trees in the front yard and water! Lots of water. Lots of friends. Lots of work, but lots of time.
i have so much love and so many ideas, just no time and no space to give them away.