I feel like shit.
This is my first journal in a long time. I really have no where else to write this that i don't want anyone to see. Im so agitated today. I can't stand it. I don't know what my problem is. I think im just jealous. I can't help it. I really like this guy and im so freaking confused about everything with him. I have no clue what he wants with me besides sex at the moment. He says im super sexy and awesome.
UGH!!!!
SO FRUSTRATED!!! I've screwed up so many things in my stupid miserable life. What have i done to make myself proud?? NOTHING. At all. Yeah sure i finished highschool, but thats about it for me. I don't want to be unsuccessful. I feel like i need to do more. I need to push myself harder and hold things back that i really want but don't need. Like those shoes i've been wanted ever since i saw them in that store. I need to stop spending and start saving. I need to learn how to manage my money better. I need to be alone. I've isolated myself so much that i think im better off alone. I should become a freaking hermit. Im not liking myself today. Not at all. I feel like i've messed up my whole life and im only twenty.
*sigh*
Well, im done ranting for now. I don't feel better yet, but hopefully something will cheer me up today.
Mary
UGH!!!!
SO FRUSTRATED!!! I've screwed up so many things in my stupid miserable life. What have i done to make myself proud?? NOTHING. At all. Yeah sure i finished highschool, but thats about it for me. I don't want to be unsuccessful. I feel like i need to do more. I need to push myself harder and hold things back that i really want but don't need. Like those shoes i've been wanted ever since i saw them in that store. I need to stop spending and start saving. I need to learn how to manage my money better. I need to be alone. I've isolated myself so much that i think im better off alone. I should become a freaking hermit. Im not liking myself today. Not at all. I feel like i've messed up my whole life and im only twenty.
*sigh*
Well, im done ranting for now. I don't feel better yet, but hopefully something will cheer me up today.
Mary