One wonders...
How does the fall from grace happen so fast and without any warning? Sometimes we seem to be riding the wave of greatness and success only to be dashed on the rocks moments later. My life resembles this right now and I must admit the lesson is bitter-sweet. I find myself torn in so many ways right now and unable to see the best course of action out of this morass of self-doubt and depression much of the time. I have a few flickers of light and she knows she is one of those. I can't honestly say what my next major step is and I find myself stuck doing what my mother suggested might be the only thing I can do right now, baby steps. I hate baby steps because to me, it shows one doesn't know the situation or where they are really going. I like knowing my route and destination ahead of time whenever possible and if I can't know both of those, at least one or the other will suffice. Right now, I can't see a clear either or and it's almost nerve-racking.
I only hope God will light the path for me and show me the way because I really do want to come out of this a better person than when I went in. I don't like being the cause of someone else's heartache or tears but right now I think that is my lot for the immediate future. I don't know if this will go smoothly or will be nothing but one set of jagged rocks after another, either way I must walk the path God lays before me. I truly do hope I can come out of this a better person in the end and a smarter person. We can only do what we can do and right now I don't know what to do for so many important things. I honestly feel like I am all alone at times.
I prayed hard to God last night but was so tired from the day's events that I started to fall asleep while praying. I feel bad when I do that but I left it up to God and in His hands before I finally let sleep take me. I only hope that He gives me an answer or at least points me into a general direction soon. I will have to see what this day brings and where it ends up before I can write more...
I only hope God will light the path for me and show me the way because I really do want to come out of this a better person than when I went in. I don't like being the cause of someone else's heartache or tears but right now I think that is my lot for the immediate future. I don't know if this will go smoothly or will be nothing but one set of jagged rocks after another, either way I must walk the path God lays before me. I truly do hope I can come out of this a better person in the end and a smarter person. We can only do what we can do and right now I don't know what to do for so many important things. I honestly feel like I am all alone at times.
I prayed hard to God last night but was so tired from the day's events that I started to fall asleep while praying. I feel bad when I do that but I left it up to God and in His hands before I finally let sleep take me. I only hope that He gives me an answer or at least points me into a general direction soon. I will have to see what this day brings and where it ends up before I can write more...