i feel a little robbed of it
today actually started out nice for me. i got up sort of early and it looked so nice outside that i got up and ready right away and made myself a cup of tea (typically i don't even like tea, i just felt really in the mood for something like tea i guess) and then i went outside and read out in the sun with my tea for like 2 hours until my eyes were so tired and my butt hurt from sitting in those uncomfortable chairs because we haven't brought out the cushions yet. haha. and then i wrote for like an hour and was feeling just really content, so i started reading some margaret atwood because she always puts me in an even better mood. and then my brother woke up and i ended up watching "freaked" with him which was on TV and we haven't seen in years and years and goddamn what a funny movie, it put me in a fantastic mood.
so i guess i shouldn't really speak of such things here, but i attempted to resolve some unresolved situations and was starting to feel like crap. truly awful. it just put my whole good mood off. i literally started feeling sick to my stomach just thinking about it. i seriously seriously need to get out and find something to do to take my mind off of these things. ugggggghhhhh why today? why did we have to do it today? just when i was feeling really good about things.
but that's it isn't it? you always have to talk about the things that need to be talked about, and it's always right when you don't want to hear it. wow i have nothing to show from these past few months other than a few sort of ok memories that do nothing to outweigh the bad ones.
give me just one normal, happy relationship in this life and i'll be content. how is it so easy for some and so hard for others? i find it so interesting that i always know the answers i'm going to get, but i still feel the need to ask the questions.
so i guess i shouldn't really speak of such things here, but i attempted to resolve some unresolved situations and was starting to feel like crap. truly awful. it just put my whole good mood off. i literally started feeling sick to my stomach just thinking about it. i seriously seriously need to get out and find something to do to take my mind off of these things. ugggggghhhhh why today? why did we have to do it today? just when i was feeling really good about things.
but that's it isn't it? you always have to talk about the things that need to be talked about, and it's always right when you don't want to hear it. wow i have nothing to show from these past few months other than a few sort of ok memories that do nothing to outweigh the bad ones.
give me just one normal, happy relationship in this life and i'll be content. how is it so easy for some and so hard for others? i find it so interesting that i always know the answers i'm going to get, but i still feel the need to ask the questions.