I hate coming up with these!
Yesterday...ugh! Thats all I can say about it! I'm tired of these buttholes up here constantly asking for rides and not wanting to give me anything in return, not even gas money! I got into a fight with my mom and it's hell right now! It was so bad I started to pack my stuff and was ready to drive back to El Paso by myself. All the baby things I've boughten is in the car as of right now. I have no one here on my side that I can turn to. I got sick last night and I have a horrible cold now. I'm constantly having to take my temperature because a fever can be bad for the baby! I don't know where my mom and Cyndy are right now. I told my mom how I felt this morning but she had excuses for everything and tried to make me feel guilty! She makes me so mad but I hope she doesn't do anything stupid right now. I think to myself damn I could just leave so easily, but I know I can't because my mom still needs me here. I don't know whats going to happen if I stay here much longer?! I don't know what would happen if I left right now? I feel sorry for saying my baby doesn't need a grandmother in front of my mom, that was harsh on my part, but thats how I felt at the time. I wish I could help her, but I feel theres nothing I could do on this earth to do so. I'm feeling my baby move, I think he's hungry. I really miss Paul, the hand holding, the kissing, the hugs, everything! My mom was trying to say how Paul didn't care for me because he was going to let me drive by myself back home, but honestly I feel I will never find anyone else who loves and cares so much for me. I'm glad I got my feelings out to my mom, but it all came out the wrong way. I should have said something a long time ago, because I didn't mean I didn't want to give her rides ever again, I meant just not to stupid things that I should have to. Everything in this entry is so random, but this how my emotions and thoughts are running right now. I do need to stop holding a grudge against my mom, and understand she's a little mentally off. I wish I could tell her I love her, but for some reason it's so difficult for me. ugh! ok well I guess I'll end this.