depressing times
well i went and drew out some money and went shopping with my mom. I was actually excited to do so driving to the mall, but mervyns and sears is so expensive I got depressed the minute I looked at all the nice clothes in juniors and realized I couldn't get anything because it was all really expensive and too small for my growing belly. So I basically walked around the stores dragging my feet ready to cry because the clothes I could fit into (also really expensive) are for bigger women who have no style in clothes. It seems as if all clothes designers believe if your pregnant than you got to cover your body with sheets and not show off your figure or body parts at all! So my mom and I shop around and decide to go to target which is near by thinking it may be a little cheaper, but hell no!!! car seats are like 80 bucks for a half way decent one. I saw some cute shoes there for $14 but I didn't get them because the money wasn't really mine to spend on me. Plus I need other things more than I need a cute pair of shoes. I go to the baby stuff look at the car seats, see the prices, sit on the floor in front of them and have tears in my eyes. My mom comes and says well it's ok we can save that money and wait till the first of the month when we get more money. ok fine I guess! I decide to stop at wal mart and I find a wonderful car seat for 50 bucks which is really good I thought, so I got it! yey!! car seat down, 1298371927391 things to go! it's ok though, I don't care if I have to spend millions of dollars on this baby, I will! I look at the picture of him everyday and I can feel the love I have for him already, I feel him kick and move and it makes me smile. It's so wonderful! me having to dress like an old lady and spend all money on him is all worth it in the end. I'll go without my cute shoes or my bras(which I do need) just to make sure my baby has it good! I thought of the name Sean and Paul and everyone else likes it. So I think my baby's name will be Sean Micheal Sellars or Gomez if Paul decides to get his act together! My mom and Lydia were talking and said how they were proud of me for staying so strong through all of this, especially since the father isn't here by my side helping me out. They think I've done a lot and have stayed so strong. But when I look at it I think I'm weak and haven't done enough. Matter of opinion I guess!
There's this bird that keeps flying into the house everyday, and he just hops and flies around the house. He's not scared of the dogs, and for some odd reason the dogs see him and don't chase him, which they usually would. So I thought about it, and I think it's God showing us a sign that he is here with his protecting us, and maybe soon going to give us a miracle that we have needed for a while. This bird is so interesting to me and my mom! Lots of times I wake up and sit outside to watch the little birds hop around, and live their lives. A few days ago I was sitting on the step watching them and one of my dogs sat with me and watched them as well. Funny how dogs do! I love these dogs and when I leave I will miss them so much!
I need to start drinking more water than I already am, because everytime I go to the doctor they say my urine test shows I'm dehydrated which I found out can lead to an early delivery. I need to start eating more veggies since I've been eating a lot of junk food. this all reminds me I need to take my vitamin!! Ugh! I'm so forgetful!
well I guess I'm gonna go lay down, my back hurts, and I need to relax. I love the new car seat, man I wish I could sit in it! lol! lucky babies!! well I shall go I guess since Lydia has to be everywhere I am, and I get no privacy. I thought my grandma gave me no privacy but she gave me a lot more than what I get here. At least she didn't go through my things! I miss her. That reminds me, my mom and I want to write a book about my grandma and her family stories, to me they are more interesting than something than the grapes of wrath! She has funny stories and sad stories and all kinds. When I was little I used to hate to listen to them but now I love it! ok blah blah blah! I'm going to go now for reals! my back hurts!
always and forever,
Brandy
There's this bird that keeps flying into the house everyday, and he just hops and flies around the house. He's not scared of the dogs, and for some odd reason the dogs see him and don't chase him, which they usually would. So I thought about it, and I think it's God showing us a sign that he is here with his protecting us, and maybe soon going to give us a miracle that we have needed for a while. This bird is so interesting to me and my mom! Lots of times I wake up and sit outside to watch the little birds hop around, and live their lives. A few days ago I was sitting on the step watching them and one of my dogs sat with me and watched them as well. Funny how dogs do! I love these dogs and when I leave I will miss them so much!
I need to start drinking more water than I already am, because everytime I go to the doctor they say my urine test shows I'm dehydrated which I found out can lead to an early delivery. I need to start eating more veggies since I've been eating a lot of junk food. this all reminds me I need to take my vitamin!! Ugh! I'm so forgetful!
well I guess I'm gonna go lay down, my back hurts, and I need to relax. I love the new car seat, man I wish I could sit in it! lol! lucky babies!! well I shall go I guess since Lydia has to be everywhere I am, and I get no privacy. I thought my grandma gave me no privacy but she gave me a lot more than what I get here. At least she didn't go through my things! I miss her. That reminds me, my mom and I want to write a book about my grandma and her family stories, to me they are more interesting than something than the grapes of wrath! She has funny stories and sad stories and all kinds. When I was little I used to hate to listen to them but now I love it! ok blah blah blah! I'm going to go now for reals! my back hurts!
always and forever,
Brandy