HENRY IV: PART I, ACT V
Last time, on Henry IV: Part I...
Everyone continued preparing for battle!
About 50% of Hotspur's allies disintegrated!
Falstaff gathered an army of zombies for Prince Hal!
The Archbishop of York wrote some letters!
...and now, the thrilling conclusion.
---
ACT V, SCENE I
The King's camp, near Shrewsbury.
The King, Prince Hal, Lord John of Lancaster (aka Prince John, Hal's little brother), Earl of Westmoreland (apparently the King's hostage? my footnotes are somewhat unclear), Sir Walter Blunt, and Falstaff are all gathered around pre-battle. The King and Prince Hal take a moment to discuss the weather. Turns out a storm is literally a-brewin'.
Worcester shows up to parley and the King asks him why the rebels are doing this.
Worcester: Hear me, my liege.
For mine own part, I could be well content
To entertain the lag-end of my life
With quiet hours, for I protest
I have not sought the day of this dislike.
King: You have not sought it! How comes it then?
Falstaff: Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.
lol
Worcester reminds the King that when the King was just Henry Bolingbroke and banished by Richard II, it was Worcester and Northumberland who risked everything to help him get his home and title back. Making him King came about kind of accidentally, thanks to Richard II's absence (off fighting the Irish at the time, and presumed dead) and Henry's popularity. However, since Henry became King, Worcester and the rest think he's gotten too big for his britches and broken too many promises. The King points out that he's heard this song and dance before, as part of the rebellion's party line.
Prince Hal butts in.
[...] Tell your nephew
The Prince of Wales doth join with all the world
In praise of Henry Percy.
Wait, what?
[...] By my hopes,
This present enterprise set off his head,
I do not think a braver gentleman,
More active-valiant or more valiant-young,
More daring or more bold, is now alive
To grace this latter age with noble deeds.
Mancrushes all around.
For my part, I may speak it to my shame,
I have a truant been to chivalry;
And so I hear he doth account me too.
Yet this before my father's majesty--
I am content that he shall take the odds
Of his great name and estimation,
And will, to save the blood on either side,
Try fortune with him in a single fight.
Oh Prince Hal no.
The King is like, that's a great idea and all, son, but I'm gonna have to nix that. He asks Worcester to surrender, and promises him and all his compatriots a pardon. Worcester leaves without replying. Prince Hal predicts that the offer will not be accepted, because he has read the script. The King tells everyone to get ready for battle (three acts later and still no one's ready?) and leaves.
Prince Hal and Falstaff exchange a few cheerful "hope we don't die, bro!" lines, and the Prince exits as well, leaving Falstaff alone to give a little speech about honor, and how it's essentially useless.
---
ACT V, SCENE II
The rebel camp, near Shrewsbury.
Worcester is talking with Vernon, begging him not to tell Hotspur about the King's incredibly generous offer of pardon. Worcester's afraid Hotspur will accept, in which case Hotspur's got the excuse of youth and, well, being Hotspur, to clear him of all charges. Worcester fears he won't be so lucky, since he's older and should know better than to rise up against the King. Vernon thinks the lie is unnecessary, but agrees to back it up.
Enter Hotspur and Douglas. Worcester informs them that the King wants a fight, and is completely without mercy. He stops lying through his teeth for a moment to tell Hotspur that Prince Hal wants to fight him man-to-man. Hotspur thinks it would be great if they could get away with just one person dying today instead of fields full of corpses, but sadly, his quarrel is with the King, not just the Prince. Hotspur asks if the Prince hates his guts.
Vernon: No, by my soul. I never in my life
Did hear a challenge urged more modestly,
Unless a brother should a brother dare
To gentle exercise and proof of arms.
He gave you all the duties of a man;
Trimmed up your praises with a princely tongue;
Spoke your deservings like a chronicle;
Making you ever better than his praise
By still dispraising praise valued with you;
And, which became him like a prince indeed,
He made a blushing cital of himself,
And chid his truant youth with such a grace
As if he mast'red there a double spirit
Of teaching and of learning instantly.
There did he pause; but let me tell the world,
If he outlive the envy of this day,
England did never owe so sweet a hope,
So much misconstrued in his wantonness.
I'd tell him to make out with Prince Hal already, but Hotspur does it for me.
Hotspur: Cousin, I think thou art enamorèd
On his follies.
He vows to answer Prince Hal's flattery with sword blows. A messenger arrives with a letter, but Hotspur says this is no time for reading. I'm inclined to agree, since the battle's about five minutes from starting, though I can't help but think this will come back to bite him in the ass. Another messenger comes up, saying that the King is on his way. Hotspur instigates a group hug among his men and they go off to war.
---
ACT V, SCENE III
Shrewsbury. The battlefield.
Sir Walter Blunt has disguised himself as the King for reasons unknown, and meets Douglas on the field of battle. They fight, and Douglas kills Blunt. Hotspur comes up. Douglas tells him he's just killed the King. Hotspur's like, "Nope, that's Blunt. You've been had, bro." Turns out the King's got clones all over the place. Douglas vows to murder the shit out of every single one of them.
Douglas and Hotspur leave, and Falstaff enters. Turns out he's already lead most of his men to their doom; out of a hundred, maybe three are left alive. Finding Blunt dead, his speech about the uselessness of honor gets a little reprise.
Prince Hal comes in and asks Falstaff to lend him his sword. Falstaff refuses twice, but offers up his pistol. Turns out by "pistol" he means "bottle of booze." Prince Hal is not impressed and throws the bottle at him before storming off.
---
ACT V, SCENE IV
Shrewsbury. The battlefield. Yes, still.
The King, Prince Hal, Lord John of Lancaster (also a prince, btw), and Westmoreland are having a chat amongst all the fighting. Prince Hal's been wounded, and King Henry wants him to go back to his tent. He instructs John of Lancaster to go with him. John refuses, since he himself isn't wounded. The King asks Westmoreland next, but Prince Hal still refuses to leave. John and Westmoreland leave together, I'm assuming to fight more, because if neither one of them is wounded a retreat makes no sense. Prince Hal voices his newfound respect for his brother, John, and leaves as well.
Douglas enters, having slaughtered all the King's clones and finally come upon the man himself. They fight, and it looks like the King's not gonna make it until Prince Hal returns and jumps into the fray. Douglas flees and the King survives. The King asks Prince Hal to stick around for a bit, and tells him that he has his daddy's love back. Yay! Prince Hal tells his dad that he loves him, too, and the King leaves to go fight some more.
Hotspur replaces the King. He and Prince Hal recognize each other, and Prince Hal gives a "there can be only one!" speech before they fight. Falstaff comes in the middle of it and cheers Prince Hal on until he is attacked by Douglas. Falstaff feigns death and Douglas wanders away, much like a disinterested bear. Then Prince Hal deals Hotspur a mortal blow, and we all shed a tear for liberty.
Hotspur: O Harry, thou hast robbed me of my youth!
I better brook the loss of brittle life
Than those proud titles thou has won of me.
They wound my thoughts worse than thy sword my flesh.
But thoughts, the slaves of life, and life, time's fool,
And time, that takes survey of all the world,
Must have a stop. O, I could prophesy,
But that the earthy and cold hand of death
Lies on my tongue. No Percy, thou art dust,
And food for--
Thus, he kicks it. Prince Hal thoughtfully picks up where he left off.
Prince: For worms, brave Percy. Fare thee well, great heart.
Ill-weaved ambition, how much art thou shrunk!
When that this body did contain a spirit,
A kingdom for it was too small a bound;
But now two paces of the vilest earth
Is room enough. This earth that bears thee dead
Bears not alive so stout a gentleman.
If thou wert sensible of courtesy,
I should not make so dear a show of zeal.
But let my favors hide thy mangled face;
And, even in thy behalf, I'll thank myself
For doing these fair rites of tenderness.
Adieu, and take thy praise with thee to heaven.
Thy ignominy sleep with thee in the grave,
But not rememb'red in thy epitaph.
Then he comes upon the apparently-dead Falstaff, and has a slightly less pretty eulogy for him. Many more nobler men have died this day, but damnit, the Prince is gonna miss old Falstaff.
Prince Hal leaves just in time to miss Falstaff's miraculous resurrection. Falstaff finds Hotspur's body and decides to pretend it was Falstaff who killed Hotspur. He picks up the corpse as Prince Hal and John of Lancaster return.
Prince Hal is a little surprised to see his dead friend walking around and wants to know precisely what the hell happened. Falstaff explains that he got better, and Hotspur did, too, so Falstaff killed him.
John: This is the strangest tale that ever I heard.
Prince: This is the strangest fellow, brother John.
Come, bring your luggage nobly on your back.
For my part, if a lie may do thee grace,
I'll gild it with the happiest terms I have.
So... I guess Prince Hal is okay with Falstaff's kill-stealing. All right then.
Falstaff vows to himself to be a better man in exchange for higher standing. Somehow I doubt that's a promise he can keep.
---
ACT V, SCENE V
Shrewsbury. The battlefield. As ever.
The battle is over! The rebels are defeated! King Henry scolds a captured Worcester, saying his chance of survival probably would have been better if he'd been honest about the King's terms. Worcester is 0kay with being executed, and off he goes.
Prince Hal reports that Douglas is also captured, and asks permission to decide what's to be done with him. The King grants it, and Prince Hal turns Douglas over to John of Lancaster and asks that he be released on account of his bravery in the field of battle. (?!) The King makes plans for yet more battles, as Northumberland and Glendower have yet to be defeated. Onward!
---
HENRY IV: PART I, ACT I
HENRY IV: PART I, ACT II
HENRY IV: PART I, ACT III
HENRY IV: PART I, ACT IV
HENRY IV: PART I, ACT V
Everyone continued preparing for battle!
About 50% of Hotspur's allies disintegrated!
Falstaff gathered an army of zombies for Prince Hal!
The Archbishop of York wrote some letters!
...and now, the thrilling conclusion.
---
ACT V, SCENE I
The King's camp, near Shrewsbury.
The King, Prince Hal, Lord John of Lancaster (aka Prince John, Hal's little brother), Earl of Westmoreland (apparently the King's hostage? my footnotes are somewhat unclear), Sir Walter Blunt, and Falstaff are all gathered around pre-battle. The King and Prince Hal take a moment to discuss the weather. Turns out a storm is literally a-brewin'.
Worcester shows up to parley and the King asks him why the rebels are doing this.
Worcester: Hear me, my liege.
For mine own part, I could be well content
To entertain the lag-end of my life
With quiet hours, for I protest
I have not sought the day of this dislike.
King: You have not sought it! How comes it then?
Falstaff: Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.
lol
Worcester reminds the King that when the King was just Henry Bolingbroke and banished by Richard II, it was Worcester and Northumberland who risked everything to help him get his home and title back. Making him King came about kind of accidentally, thanks to Richard II's absence (off fighting the Irish at the time, and presumed dead) and Henry's popularity. However, since Henry became King, Worcester and the rest think he's gotten too big for his britches and broken too many promises. The King points out that he's heard this song and dance before, as part of the rebellion's party line.
Prince Hal butts in.
[...] Tell your nephew
The Prince of Wales doth join with all the world
In praise of Henry Percy.
Wait, what?
[...] By my hopes,
This present enterprise set off his head,
I do not think a braver gentleman,
More active-valiant or more valiant-young,
More daring or more bold, is now alive
To grace this latter age with noble deeds.
Mancrushes all around.
For my part, I may speak it to my shame,
I have a truant been to chivalry;
And so I hear he doth account me too.
Yet this before my father's majesty--
I am content that he shall take the odds
Of his great name and estimation,
And will, to save the blood on either side,
Try fortune with him in a single fight.
Oh Prince Hal no.
The King is like, that's a great idea and all, son, but I'm gonna have to nix that. He asks Worcester to surrender, and promises him and all his compatriots a pardon. Worcester leaves without replying. Prince Hal predicts that the offer will not be accepted, because he has read the script. The King tells everyone to get ready for battle (three acts later and still no one's ready?) and leaves.
Prince Hal and Falstaff exchange a few cheerful "hope we don't die, bro!" lines, and the Prince exits as well, leaving Falstaff alone to give a little speech about honor, and how it's essentially useless.
---
ACT V, SCENE II
The rebel camp, near Shrewsbury.
Worcester is talking with Vernon, begging him not to tell Hotspur about the King's incredibly generous offer of pardon. Worcester's afraid Hotspur will accept, in which case Hotspur's got the excuse of youth and, well, being Hotspur, to clear him of all charges. Worcester fears he won't be so lucky, since he's older and should know better than to rise up against the King. Vernon thinks the lie is unnecessary, but agrees to back it up.
Enter Hotspur and Douglas. Worcester informs them that the King wants a fight, and is completely without mercy. He stops lying through his teeth for a moment to tell Hotspur that Prince Hal wants to fight him man-to-man. Hotspur thinks it would be great if they could get away with just one person dying today instead of fields full of corpses, but sadly, his quarrel is with the King, not just the Prince. Hotspur asks if the Prince hates his guts.
Vernon: No, by my soul. I never in my life
Did hear a challenge urged more modestly,
Unless a brother should a brother dare
To gentle exercise and proof of arms.
He gave you all the duties of a man;
Trimmed up your praises with a princely tongue;
Spoke your deservings like a chronicle;
Making you ever better than his praise
By still dispraising praise valued with you;
And, which became him like a prince indeed,
He made a blushing cital of himself,
And chid his truant youth with such a grace
As if he mast'red there a double spirit
Of teaching and of learning instantly.
There did he pause; but let me tell the world,
If he outlive the envy of this day,
England did never owe so sweet a hope,
So much misconstrued in his wantonness.
I'd tell him to make out with Prince Hal already, but Hotspur does it for me.
Hotspur: Cousin, I think thou art enamorèd
On his follies.
He vows to answer Prince Hal's flattery with sword blows. A messenger arrives with a letter, but Hotspur says this is no time for reading. I'm inclined to agree, since the battle's about five minutes from starting, though I can't help but think this will come back to bite him in the ass. Another messenger comes up, saying that the King is on his way. Hotspur instigates a group hug among his men and they go off to war.
---
ACT V, SCENE III
Shrewsbury. The battlefield.
Sir Walter Blunt has disguised himself as the King for reasons unknown, and meets Douglas on the field of battle. They fight, and Douglas kills Blunt. Hotspur comes up. Douglas tells him he's just killed the King. Hotspur's like, "Nope, that's Blunt. You've been had, bro." Turns out the King's got clones all over the place. Douglas vows to murder the shit out of every single one of them.
Douglas and Hotspur leave, and Falstaff enters. Turns out he's already lead most of his men to their doom; out of a hundred, maybe three are left alive. Finding Blunt dead, his speech about the uselessness of honor gets a little reprise.
Prince Hal comes in and asks Falstaff to lend him his sword. Falstaff refuses twice, but offers up his pistol. Turns out by "pistol" he means "bottle of booze." Prince Hal is not impressed and throws the bottle at him before storming off.
---
ACT V, SCENE IV
Shrewsbury. The battlefield. Yes, still.
The King, Prince Hal, Lord John of Lancaster (also a prince, btw), and Westmoreland are having a chat amongst all the fighting. Prince Hal's been wounded, and King Henry wants him to go back to his tent. He instructs John of Lancaster to go with him. John refuses, since he himself isn't wounded. The King asks Westmoreland next, but Prince Hal still refuses to leave. John and Westmoreland leave together, I'm assuming to fight more, because if neither one of them is wounded a retreat makes no sense. Prince Hal voices his newfound respect for his brother, John, and leaves as well.
Douglas enters, having slaughtered all the King's clones and finally come upon the man himself. They fight, and it looks like the King's not gonna make it until Prince Hal returns and jumps into the fray. Douglas flees and the King survives. The King asks Prince Hal to stick around for a bit, and tells him that he has his daddy's love back. Yay! Prince Hal tells his dad that he loves him, too, and the King leaves to go fight some more.
Hotspur replaces the King. He and Prince Hal recognize each other, and Prince Hal gives a "there can be only one!" speech before they fight. Falstaff comes in the middle of it and cheers Prince Hal on until he is attacked by Douglas. Falstaff feigns death and Douglas wanders away, much like a disinterested bear. Then Prince Hal deals Hotspur a mortal blow, and we all shed a tear for liberty.
Hotspur: O Harry, thou hast robbed me of my youth!
I better brook the loss of brittle life
Than those proud titles thou has won of me.
They wound my thoughts worse than thy sword my flesh.
But thoughts, the slaves of life, and life, time's fool,
And time, that takes survey of all the world,
Must have a stop. O, I could prophesy,
But that the earthy and cold hand of death
Lies on my tongue. No Percy, thou art dust,
And food for--
Thus, he kicks it. Prince Hal thoughtfully picks up where he left off.
Prince: For worms, brave Percy. Fare thee well, great heart.
Ill-weaved ambition, how much art thou shrunk!
When that this body did contain a spirit,
A kingdom for it was too small a bound;
But now two paces of the vilest earth
Is room enough. This earth that bears thee dead
Bears not alive so stout a gentleman.
If thou wert sensible of courtesy,
I should not make so dear a show of zeal.
But let my favors hide thy mangled face;
And, even in thy behalf, I'll thank myself
For doing these fair rites of tenderness.
Adieu, and take thy praise with thee to heaven.
Thy ignominy sleep with thee in the grave,
But not rememb'red in thy epitaph.
Then he comes upon the apparently-dead Falstaff, and has a slightly less pretty eulogy for him. Many more nobler men have died this day, but damnit, the Prince is gonna miss old Falstaff.
Prince Hal leaves just in time to miss Falstaff's miraculous resurrection. Falstaff finds Hotspur's body and decides to pretend it was Falstaff who killed Hotspur. He picks up the corpse as Prince Hal and John of Lancaster return.
Prince Hal is a little surprised to see his dead friend walking around and wants to know precisely what the hell happened. Falstaff explains that he got better, and Hotspur did, too, so Falstaff killed him.
John: This is the strangest tale that ever I heard.
Prince: This is the strangest fellow, brother John.
Come, bring your luggage nobly on your back.
For my part, if a lie may do thee grace,
I'll gild it with the happiest terms I have.
So... I guess Prince Hal is okay with Falstaff's kill-stealing. All right then.
Falstaff vows to himself to be a better man in exchange for higher standing. Somehow I doubt that's a promise he can keep.
---
ACT V, SCENE V
Shrewsbury. The battlefield. As ever.
The battle is over! The rebels are defeated! King Henry scolds a captured Worcester, saying his chance of survival probably would have been better if he'd been honest about the King's terms. Worcester is 0kay with being executed, and off he goes.
Prince Hal reports that Douglas is also captured, and asks permission to decide what's to be done with him. The King grants it, and Prince Hal turns Douglas over to John of Lancaster and asks that he be released on account of his bravery in the field of battle. (?!) The King makes plans for yet more battles, as Northumberland and Glendower have yet to be defeated. Onward!
---
HENRY IV: PART I, ACT I
HENRY IV: PART I, ACT II
HENRY IV: PART I, ACT III
HENRY IV: PART I, ACT IV
HENRY IV: PART I, ACT V