Stuck in the middle with you
I think sometimes everything is almost too good to be true. Things aren't great around here 24-7 but my relationship is. I don't know if it's the pessimist in me or me trying to prepare myself for something that may or may not ever happen. I have days where I think about the real long term with John. I have days where I wonder when everything is going to stop being so great. When is it going to crash and burn. I feel like a bad person for even thinking such things. Me hurting John is not one thing I would ever want to do. The idea of hurting him hurts me. I am just not used to being in love and being so vulnerable. Honestly and truly, this is love. This isn't Nathan, this isn't Roger, this isn't anyone else. This is completely different. I never thought it would be. I thought I already knew. I was very, very wrong.
I've been cooking again this past week. Damn, am I a good cook.
Modelling is getting better and better. I keep getting lots of offers to shoot. I keep getting weird offers too. Let me tie you up and take photos and video while you struggle, I'll pay you. Wanna be a dom? Will you spank me? I'll pay.
Frontier is going well. Ran into douchebag there a few days ago. He was nice and cordial. Freaked me out. I just wanted to keep avoiding him. He knocked 21 year old Chelsea up. He bought a house. Natalie thinks he's being forced to grow up. I think I'll believe it when I see it.
Paul will be at the club tonight. I'm hoping things aren't awkward. He and his girlfriend broke up and Natalie says he's pretty shaken.
I don't know what to think about hardly anything anymore.
I've been cooking again this past week. Damn, am I a good cook.
Modelling is getting better and better. I keep getting lots of offers to shoot. I keep getting weird offers too. Let me tie you up and take photos and video while you struggle, I'll pay you. Wanna be a dom? Will you spank me? I'll pay.
Frontier is going well. Ran into douchebag there a few days ago. He was nice and cordial. Freaked me out. I just wanted to keep avoiding him. He knocked 21 year old Chelsea up. He bought a house. Natalie thinks he's being forced to grow up. I think I'll believe it when I see it.
Paul will be at the club tonight. I'm hoping things aren't awkward. He and his girlfriend broke up and Natalie says he's pretty shaken.
I don't know what to think about hardly anything anymore.