(no subject)
i'm so tired. dave and mike stayed last night and mike and i were up till 7:45 this morning watching trigun. and tomorrow i get to totally redo my collage for design, they tore my first one apart totally. and then i tried to get some of my mojo back last night and today by making aaron a t-shirt for his birthday. so i picked rocko's modern life, he loves that show and i put spunky on the front eating toe-nail clippings and it said "you dirty dog you" under it and then on the back it just had the rocko's modern life logo on it. so i was all set with the design and the transfer paper but when i went to iron it, the dark transfer paper wouldn't stick. i was ready to kill someone. foiled again. and i think mike and i are having an off day. it's one of those days where i can still clearly see that i do love him, but there's not much of a spark there. for conversation it was like "meh". and he's just driving me crazy. aaron and i were talking about in the car tonight and i said i think it's going to be one of those things where i go off the deep end completely and totally if he doesn't do something soon and i say things that make it impossible for us to even try to be friends after they come out. aaron said he could see that or either us getting married lol.i could see either one. b/c i know if things don't become black or white very soon, i'm gonna blow and it's not gonna be good for either one of us. i mean, i've had my minor hissy fits where i was screaming and crying and throwing things, but i think this time it would just be me saying everything that has ever come to my mind, fair or not and just spitting it out and not taking anything back or apologizing. and i don't want it to come to that but i know it will if something doesn't give down the road here. there's just so much stress right now, i've got school, which is killing me slowly and then mike doesn't help anything. he's good to me, he really is, but at the same time it's maddening b/c i don't know what the hell to do with it.it's like we've got this great thing, just sitting there, and while it's great, it could be so much better. but i'm out b/c i'm starting to cry and typing is getting hard. and he just imed me. ::shakes head:: i need help.