i emailed him this
whats the difference between how hard it is to see me when i want it, from when you want it?
im not trying to start a fight or anything, these are just questions i cant say "leave it to the three or so weeks i have left"
i called you and left u those messages about me loving u and wanting u to have a good day, cuz i thought they would make u feel good, and because u had told me many times they made u feel good.
why is it that on wednesday night, i can be a smothering clingy girl, who expects too much of u, and is too affectionate, and acts too girlfriend-y, but when sunday rolls around if im not all over you? it's like i've commited a crime by hurting you, by not being your and yours alone to take as much love as you need to feel.
how can i be annoying you if what i want is some comfort when im going through a big deal of crap ... to explain that, essentially, you're the only person i can turn to for some things, because if i try to cry on makr's shoulder (and believ me i've tried, to spare you the burden) mark turns it into one of those "it'll be ok," type conversations, and tries to shove my face in his pants, so i get nowhere but offended with that. but at least with you you take my mind off it, ease my thoughts with any number of things ranging from sex to intelligent, or pleasant at the very least, conversation.
ok, i feel better now that i got that all off my chest, you dont have to respond to this email, or even acknowledge it's existence. now that i look at it, it's pretty rhetorical.
if you have read it, thanks for reading, i appreciate the consideration.
love - me
does that sound guilt trippy, or does it sound like i meant exactly as i said?
im not trying to start a fight or anything, these are just questions i cant say "leave it to the three or so weeks i have left"
i called you and left u those messages about me loving u and wanting u to have a good day, cuz i thought they would make u feel good, and because u had told me many times they made u feel good.
why is it that on wednesday night, i can be a smothering clingy girl, who expects too much of u, and is too affectionate, and acts too girlfriend-y, but when sunday rolls around if im not all over you? it's like i've commited a crime by hurting you, by not being your and yours alone to take as much love as you need to feel.
how can i be annoying you if what i want is some comfort when im going through a big deal of crap ... to explain that, essentially, you're the only person i can turn to for some things, because if i try to cry on makr's shoulder (and believ me i've tried, to spare you the burden) mark turns it into one of those "it'll be ok," type conversations, and tries to shove my face in his pants, so i get nowhere but offended with that. but at least with you you take my mind off it, ease my thoughts with any number of things ranging from sex to intelligent, or pleasant at the very least, conversation.
ok, i feel better now that i got that all off my chest, you dont have to respond to this email, or even acknowledge it's existence. now that i look at it, it's pretty rhetorical.
if you have read it, thanks for reading, i appreciate the consideration.
love - me
does that sound guilt trippy, or does it sound like i meant exactly as i said?