The Lengths That I Will Go To: An R.E.M./X-Files Fanmix
(At some point in time, I will learn how to make covers. Until then, well, deal.)
If you were to ask me my favorite band, I would answer without hesitation "R.E.M." My reasons are many: if you'll believe it, I got into them to impress a guy (I KNOW. Look, I was trying to sleep with his girlfriend at the time, if it matters) originally. I also developed a serious crush on Michael Stipe, who, besides having the sexiest voice in nineties pop music, for serious has always been very open about both his politics and his bisexuality, both of which appeal to me tremendously. I love the writing; I love the musicality. I love music that proves pop music can be smart. I just love them, OK?
I also think that XF and R.E.M. are a tonally perfect match. First, they're contemporaries; Mulder and Scully are at about the right age to have listened to college-rock during the band's heyday (and, yes, Mulder wasn't listening to American radio, but I bet he picked some of it up on either side of Oxford and/or on vacations). Second, it seems...more plausible to imagine R.E.M. as a soundtrack to the series than a lot of other music from the 90s, let's just say. (I'm being nice here.) Third, there's a way in which the complexity, the never-quite-enunciated truths, the twisty-turny-ness, and the obfuscation that are entwined in R.E.M. songs suit the tone and spirit of XF.
And, finally, they were formative to me at the same point in my personal history. At one point, I joked that XF + R.E.M.= Everything Amal Cared About In The Nineties. That's not quite true; I met Leigh in 1996. But it's a reasonable facsimile.
Titles, lyrics, and annotations under the cut.
I Believe, from lifes rich pageant
I believe in coyotes and time as an abstract
Explain the change, the difference between
What you want and what you need, there's the key
Trust in your calling, make sure your calling’s true
Think of others, the others think of you
This is an early Scully song, I think: figuring out where you're going, what you believe, and how you're going to bring the two together.
Texarcana, from Out of Time
Walking through the woods, I have faced it,
Looking for something to learn,
30,000 thoughts have been wasted,
Never in my time to return.
I would give my life to find it,
I would give it all,
Catch me if I fall.
Whereas this is an early Mulder song: the hunt for answers, for meaning, for something, and the tenuous desire to maybe, just maybe, find someone to rely on.
I Took Your Name, from Monster
I signed your living will
I smiled your face
I'm ready to close the book on NASA in outer space
I put this on my character mix as my CSM song, and I think it fits him quite well--but this triplet is clearly set in the abduction-arc.
It's the End of the World As We Know It, from Document
Wire in a fire, representing seven games, and a government for hire at a combat site.
This song was also on my MoF soundtrack. It's really a question of tone more than anything else for XF. Bonus: in the days before I had real internet access, I remember going through this song line by line and transcribing the lyrics (R.E.M. didn't print lyrics sheets in their liner notes until Monster). I loved this song back in the day. I still like it, but I don't have the energy for it most days. Oh, I'm a million years old, huh?
Strange Currencies, from Monster
I don't know why you're mean to me
when you call on the telephone
and I don't know what you mean to me
but I want to turn you on, turn you up, figure you out, I wanna take you on
I just fucking love this song, first off. Second, I think our fandom has totally missed the boat in terms of phone sex as a canon kink, okay? Current supplies are insufficient. So get with the program already.
Losing My Religion, from Out of Time
Oh, life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
This was on my shippy mix--and, yes, there are shippy bits to it. But this bit is really about realizing how big the journey is, how much world there is out there, and, oh shit, we have to handle it now, don't we?
The Great Beyond, from The Great Beyond
I've watched the stars fall silent from your eyes
All the sights that I have seen
I can't believe that I believed I wished
That you could see
There's a new planet in the solar system
There is nothing up my sleeve
I'm breaking through
I'm bending spoons
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
I'm looking for answers from the great beyond
A huge part of what appeals to me about Mulder is the craving, the desperate desire for everything--his answers, his sister, his partner, his family, his redemption. And he's got all these formidable powers to put to work on the problem, and he just can't. No matter how much you want, no matter how hard you work, you will never, ever get everything that you want. He doesn't know how to reconcile himself to that (arguably, until IWTB, but how well is he doing there?).
Bang and Blame, from Monster
You kiss on me
Tug on me
Rub on me
Jump on me
You Bang on me
Bleed on me
Hit on me
Let go on me
You let go on me
O hai thar Mulder/Krycek, how you doin'? (Note: I vaguely want an icon of the TRATB kiss with the words IT'S CANON BITCHES superimposed over it. Because I'm Like That.)
Finest Worksong, from Document
The time to rise has been engaged
Take your instincts by the reins
Your better best is rearranged
What we want and what we need
Has been confused, been confused
The finest of hours
I can't be the other person for whom The X-Files is a story about resistance against powerful forces seeking to oppress you, can I? It's the revolutionary in me; it comes out with some regularity.
Hope, from Up
You want to go forever
You see it in my eyes
I'm lost in the confusion
And it doesn't seem to matter
You really can't believe it
And you hope it's getting better
You want to trust the doctors
Their procedure is the best
But the last try was a failure
And the intern was a mess
And they did the same to Matthew
And he bled till Sunday night
They're saying don't be frightened
but you're weakened by the sight of it
You're locked into a pattern
And you know that it's the last ditch
You're trying to see through it
But it doesn't make sense
This was originally proposed to me as a Mulder song, on the basis of a later verse. But on a relisten, this is the verse that struck me, and put me in a cancerarc frame of mind.
Underneath the Bunker, from lifes rich pageant
I have wonder, I have rum
Wait for dawn and dawn shall come
Somehow, I just picture Frohike for this song, drinking out of the wine bottle at Mulder's hallucinogenic funeral in Field Trip. He's waiting at Chez Post-Col for all of us, and it's party time.
Download here.
If you were to ask me my favorite band, I would answer without hesitation "R.E.M." My reasons are many: if you'll believe it, I got into them to impress a guy (I KNOW. Look, I was trying to sleep with his girlfriend at the time, if it matters) originally. I also developed a serious crush on Michael Stipe, who, besides having the sexiest voice in nineties pop music, for serious has always been very open about both his politics and his bisexuality, both of which appeal to me tremendously. I love the writing; I love the musicality. I love music that proves pop music can be smart. I just love them, OK?
I also think that XF and R.E.M. are a tonally perfect match. First, they're contemporaries; Mulder and Scully are at about the right age to have listened to college-rock during the band's heyday (and, yes, Mulder wasn't listening to American radio, but I bet he picked some of it up on either side of Oxford and/or on vacations). Second, it seems...more plausible to imagine R.E.M. as a soundtrack to the series than a lot of other music from the 90s, let's just say. (I'm being nice here.) Third, there's a way in which the complexity, the never-quite-enunciated truths, the twisty-turny-ness, and the obfuscation that are entwined in R.E.M. songs suit the tone and spirit of XF.
And, finally, they were formative to me at the same point in my personal history. At one point, I joked that XF + R.E.M.= Everything Amal Cared About In The Nineties. That's not quite true; I met Leigh in 1996. But it's a reasonable facsimile.
Titles, lyrics, and annotations under the cut.
I Believe, from lifes rich pageant
I believe in coyotes and time as an abstract
Explain the change, the difference between
What you want and what you need, there's the key
Trust in your calling, make sure your calling’s true
Think of others, the others think of you
This is an early Scully song, I think: figuring out where you're going, what you believe, and how you're going to bring the two together.
Texarcana, from Out of Time
Walking through the woods, I have faced it,
Looking for something to learn,
30,000 thoughts have been wasted,
Never in my time to return.
I would give my life to find it,
I would give it all,
Catch me if I fall.
Whereas this is an early Mulder song: the hunt for answers, for meaning, for something, and the tenuous desire to maybe, just maybe, find someone to rely on.
I Took Your Name, from Monster
I signed your living will
I smiled your face
I'm ready to close the book on NASA in outer space
I put this on my character mix as my CSM song, and I think it fits him quite well--but this triplet is clearly set in the abduction-arc.
It's the End of the World As We Know It, from Document
Wire in a fire, representing seven games, and a government for hire at a combat site.
This song was also on my MoF soundtrack. It's really a question of tone more than anything else for XF. Bonus: in the days before I had real internet access, I remember going through this song line by line and transcribing the lyrics (R.E.M. didn't print lyrics sheets in their liner notes until Monster). I loved this song back in the day. I still like it, but I don't have the energy for it most days. Oh, I'm a million years old, huh?
Strange Currencies, from Monster
I don't know why you're mean to me
when you call on the telephone
and I don't know what you mean to me
but I want to turn you on, turn you up, figure you out, I wanna take you on
I just fucking love this song, first off. Second, I think our fandom has totally missed the boat in terms of phone sex as a canon kink, okay? Current supplies are insufficient. So get with the program already.
Losing My Religion, from Out of Time
Oh, life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
This was on my shippy mix--and, yes, there are shippy bits to it. But this bit is really about realizing how big the journey is, how much world there is out there, and, oh shit, we have to handle it now, don't we?
The Great Beyond, from The Great Beyond
I've watched the stars fall silent from your eyes
All the sights that I have seen
I can't believe that I believed I wished
That you could see
There's a new planet in the solar system
There is nothing up my sleeve
I'm breaking through
I'm bending spoons
I'm keeping flowers in full bloom
I'm looking for answers from the great beyond
A huge part of what appeals to me about Mulder is the craving, the desperate desire for everything--his answers, his sister, his partner, his family, his redemption. And he's got all these formidable powers to put to work on the problem, and he just can't. No matter how much you want, no matter how hard you work, you will never, ever get everything that you want. He doesn't know how to reconcile himself to that (arguably, until IWTB, but how well is he doing there?).
Bang and Blame, from Monster
You kiss on me
Tug on me
Rub on me
Jump on me
You Bang on me
Bleed on me
Hit on me
Let go on me
You let go on me
O hai thar Mulder/Krycek, how you doin'? (Note: I vaguely want an icon of the TRATB kiss with the words IT'S CANON BITCHES superimposed over it. Because I'm Like That.)
Finest Worksong, from Document
The time to rise has been engaged
Take your instincts by the reins
Your better best is rearranged
What we want and what we need
Has been confused, been confused
The finest of hours
I can't be the other person for whom The X-Files is a story about resistance against powerful forces seeking to oppress you, can I? It's the revolutionary in me; it comes out with some regularity.
Hope, from Up
You want to go forever
You see it in my eyes
I'm lost in the confusion
And it doesn't seem to matter
You really can't believe it
And you hope it's getting better
You want to trust the doctors
Their procedure is the best
But the last try was a failure
And the intern was a mess
And they did the same to Matthew
And he bled till Sunday night
They're saying don't be frightened
but you're weakened by the sight of it
You're locked into a pattern
And you know that it's the last ditch
You're trying to see through it
But it doesn't make sense
This was originally proposed to me as a Mulder song, on the basis of a later verse. But on a relisten, this is the verse that struck me, and put me in a cancerarc frame of mind.
Underneath the Bunker, from lifes rich pageant
I have wonder, I have rum
Wait for dawn and dawn shall come
Somehow, I just picture Frohike for this song, drinking out of the wine bottle at Mulder's hallucinogenic funeral in Field Trip. He's waiting at Chez Post-Col for all of us, and it's party time.
Download here.