(no subject)
A strange sort of weather today. It was as steamy this morning as any of the past few days, but the heat broke imperceptibly sometime during the morning, a cooler wind that carried that humidity softly away, that left cool crisp grey air and breezes behind. colder enough by the time we walked out of the assembly that I was almost cold, outside - a pleasant thing, at first, and one that didn't truly penetrate until we'd been standing outside for some time, until after Megan and Melissa left, after the rain began.
We stood beneath a heavy-leafed tree and watched the storm fade in, a light mist that went to sheets of rain and back within a quarter of an hour. Watched huge drops splatter around us, watched the soaked sidewalk and our little incongruously dry patch, and talked about how it didn't feel like the end. Because it didn't, still does not - I just can't get that through my head. Today was the last full day of school. Today was the last assembly and the last lunch and the last classes I'll ever have as a sophomore.
I was more than ready for school to end a month ago and now I just can't really know that it's happening. I'm half way through with high school, more or less. You've no idea how surreal.
(I remember being fourth-grade and wandering in a little hard-paved schoolyard. We played in the lower yard, we younger grades, but up a flight of stairs and through a gate were the older children, the fifth-sixth-seventh-eighth graders who were practically omniscient already. I pictured myself with them, oldest and knowing best and so grown up, and I couldn't - one of the only time my imagination failed me entirely. And now I'm sixteen. I'm going into junior year, which, I've a suspicion, didn't even exist in my fourth-grade universe.)
(I want to hold on to every day like it was forever. I just can't wait for the tomorrows.)
I must confess something, I think, that will make me rather universally disliked, I would imagine, or at least placed definitively in the category of too-smart freshmen and the not-quite-human, where I've always been verging anyway. I like high school. I like BG. It is where I met and came to know and love some of the most wonderful people I have ever known. I love you all - this is my moment of silly girlish emotion for the day.
No, really, I do.