a new year's post.
2006 was a year i won't really miss. more than any other time in my life, i lacked a sense of urgency in almost all walks of life. this is not to say i didn't have any successes or good things happen to me- i certainly did- it's just that i kind of skated by and just lived. i procrastinated on more things that i can even count and that includes almost every aspect of my life- professional, social, emotional, family, leisure... you name it and there was something left undone.
2007 is going to be a significant year for me. why? because i'm turning some arbitrary number of even years that marks what many consider a checkpoint in your life. now, i'll be the first to tell you that i think age is just a number, but isn't that a cliché in itself? i mean, i've always felt like i'm 29 going on 60. that hasn't changed. ...but if it takes some arbitrary event like 'me turning 30' to sit down and really take a good look at my past, current, and what i want my future self to be like, then so be it. i could do this on any day. hell, i could make resolutions to change on any day. but i don't. it's a personality quirk of mine. i have a 'starting point' thing. whatever. i need to stop saying i'm going to change some things that are so ingrained into who i am. if i decide to change or do something, i need to come up with the steps that will get me there instead of just saying 'i'm going to do x'. enough of the intentions. more of the action.
this place is so foreign to me these days, and like i said in my last post (4 months ago- damn i suck)- i have no idea what to make of it. it's going to be different than what it used to be (if i continue to post), mostly because so much time has passed that a redefinition affects no one. believe it or not, i still log in and read through it more than you'd believe. so why no posts? comments? anything? that's a problem.
it's similar to how i constantly check my email. if anyone sends me an email i will know within 15 minutes that they've emailed me. if i'm not on a computer, i'm checking my phone. i can't ever NOT be connected. but that's where it stops. i don't hit 'reply'. what the fuck? why do i have that mental block? i say i'll do it later and it never happens. i never make time.
i need to do one of two things differently in this respect: either come up with real steps to take to change a behavior or revise my expectations that it's something that i can change. both are mindsets. both take effort.
actually, i think there's a very prevalent theme that runs through almost everything that needs to be done in my life:
STOP BEING SO MOTHERFUCKING LAZY!!!
just.
do.
it.
enough excuses and analysis and understanding the 'why'. believe me, i'm sick of it. probably more sick of it than those around me.
wow- this must be an incredibly boring read. oh well.
how about a little less fluff and more concrete? when i turn 30 i want to be in the best shape i've been in... well, ever.
the last few years of my life have had an interesting arc to my personal health. i have generally been an athlete my entire life (still am), and as such have never really had to worry about my health. on the flip side of that, i've always had one of the most healthy appetites i (or many around me) have ever seen. i *love* food. trying new foods, enjoying old favorites, cooking it, eating out, whatever.... i don't put any constraints on myself as far as how much or how often, and it's never really been an issue because i've always had an athlete's metabolism.
2 or so years ago my activity level slowed down significantly. this, coupled with the fact that your body just changes as it gets older, resulted in me realizing one day 'wow, i'm in pretty bad shape', which was verified in my annual check-up later that year. it was one of those times where you stand back and say 'how did i allow myself to get here?'. i mean, taking blood pressure medication at 28? me?!?! not being able to fit in some of my favorite clothes anymore? what?!?! it had me feeling pretty badly about myself- not so much for the shape i was in, but for allowing it to happen. this was not vanity. if it had to be a sin, i guess it was pride, but more than anything else just intelligence: healthy people live better and longer lives. i resolved in 2006 to begin the steady climb back to feeling better about myself and getting back into shape. i still ate whatever and however much i wanted (well, okay i did make a *little* bit of an effort not to eat horrible things too often), but i dedicated myself to exercise and activity. it's always a tough start, but i got through it and was well on my way.... it was a tale of two halves. the first half of 2006 i was doing well and feeling good. then i went on vacation, lost focus, and have taken a step back. 2 forward, 1 back. progress, but not enough.
2007 will be better.
wow, really boring read. i think i should stick to amusing anecdotes and observations.
let's get the cliff notes version of some of the rest:
- relax a little bit. stop being so tense when things don't go *just* the way i've planned
- really, EMAIL people. you'd be surprised at how much you gain by being in touch with those you care about.
- realize that there are many aspects to being a good partner. embrace them all.
- network a little bit more.
- stop talking about starting a business. write a business plan and do it. if not, shut the hell up.
- take a risk or two.
- let people in a little bit more.
all of these could be a paragraph or more (hell, even a whole post), but in the interest of brevity and getting more done before 1/1 is over, i'll stop there.
stay tuned. we'll see what becomes of me this year.
2007 is going to be a significant year for me. why? because i'm turning some arbitrary number of even years that marks what many consider a checkpoint in your life. now, i'll be the first to tell you that i think age is just a number, but isn't that a cliché in itself? i mean, i've always felt like i'm 29 going on 60. that hasn't changed. ...but if it takes some arbitrary event like 'me turning 30' to sit down and really take a good look at my past, current, and what i want my future self to be like, then so be it. i could do this on any day. hell, i could make resolutions to change on any day. but i don't. it's a personality quirk of mine. i have a 'starting point' thing. whatever. i need to stop saying i'm going to change some things that are so ingrained into who i am. if i decide to change or do something, i need to come up with the steps that will get me there instead of just saying 'i'm going to do x'. enough of the intentions. more of the action.
this place is so foreign to me these days, and like i said in my last post (4 months ago- damn i suck)- i have no idea what to make of it. it's going to be different than what it used to be (if i continue to post), mostly because so much time has passed that a redefinition affects no one. believe it or not, i still log in and read through it more than you'd believe. so why no posts? comments? anything? that's a problem.
it's similar to how i constantly check my email. if anyone sends me an email i will know within 15 minutes that they've emailed me. if i'm not on a computer, i'm checking my phone. i can't ever NOT be connected. but that's where it stops. i don't hit 'reply'. what the fuck? why do i have that mental block? i say i'll do it later and it never happens. i never make time.
i need to do one of two things differently in this respect: either come up with real steps to take to change a behavior or revise my expectations that it's something that i can change. both are mindsets. both take effort.
actually, i think there's a very prevalent theme that runs through almost everything that needs to be done in my life:
STOP BEING SO MOTHERFUCKING LAZY!!!
just.
do.
it.
enough excuses and analysis and understanding the 'why'. believe me, i'm sick of it. probably more sick of it than those around me.
wow- this must be an incredibly boring read. oh well.
how about a little less fluff and more concrete? when i turn 30 i want to be in the best shape i've been in... well, ever.
the last few years of my life have had an interesting arc to my personal health. i have generally been an athlete my entire life (still am), and as such have never really had to worry about my health. on the flip side of that, i've always had one of the most healthy appetites i (or many around me) have ever seen. i *love* food. trying new foods, enjoying old favorites, cooking it, eating out, whatever.... i don't put any constraints on myself as far as how much or how often, and it's never really been an issue because i've always had an athlete's metabolism.
2 or so years ago my activity level slowed down significantly. this, coupled with the fact that your body just changes as it gets older, resulted in me realizing one day 'wow, i'm in pretty bad shape', which was verified in my annual check-up later that year. it was one of those times where you stand back and say 'how did i allow myself to get here?'. i mean, taking blood pressure medication at 28? me?!?! not being able to fit in some of my favorite clothes anymore? what?!?! it had me feeling pretty badly about myself- not so much for the shape i was in, but for allowing it to happen. this was not vanity. if it had to be a sin, i guess it was pride, but more than anything else just intelligence: healthy people live better and longer lives. i resolved in 2006 to begin the steady climb back to feeling better about myself and getting back into shape. i still ate whatever and however much i wanted (well, okay i did make a *little* bit of an effort not to eat horrible things too often), but i dedicated myself to exercise and activity. it's always a tough start, but i got through it and was well on my way.... it was a tale of two halves. the first half of 2006 i was doing well and feeling good. then i went on vacation, lost focus, and have taken a step back. 2 forward, 1 back. progress, but not enough.
2007 will be better.
wow, really boring read. i think i should stick to amusing anecdotes and observations.
let's get the cliff notes version of some of the rest:
- relax a little bit. stop being so tense when things don't go *just* the way i've planned
- really, EMAIL people. you'd be surprised at how much you gain by being in touch with those you care about.
- realize that there are many aspects to being a good partner. embrace them all.
- network a little bit more.
- stop talking about starting a business. write a business plan and do it. if not, shut the hell up.
- take a risk or two.
- let people in a little bit more.
all of these could be a paragraph or more (hell, even a whole post), but in the interest of brevity and getting more done before 1/1 is over, i'll stop there.
stay tuned. we'll see what becomes of me this year.