(no subject)
tonight my family sat around the kitchen table and ate latkes and played poker. nick won.
i called four or five people today, trying to see them, putting my meager effort into being social. and it didn't happen and i didn't care. i mean i really really didn't care. i don't know what that means but i think it is a good thing to be content with whatever happens. i think this vacation has been a succesful one if it can be categorized as such. today i worked on my monologue for my audition on the ninth, i spent some time with each of my family memebers seperately and together. i got rock climbing stuff for chistmas (woot woot) and i talked to a certain boy that i hope will not blow me off again. i am trying to remember how to make friends. i never recognized it as a task before. but there it is. up until yesterday i was fearing returning to school, but tonight, tonight i look forward to it, and await it. i am going to do something right. i can feel it. i am going to be proud of myself, i am going to feel good about the work i do because i am determined to do good work.
my computer may be irreversibly broken. i will probably end up with a big old desktop because it is cheaper, and more reliable. i owe my parents money, i still have to create a few gifts and i am completely broke. i am going to work all next week, but hopefully will be able to at least take a day off to visit the greenbergs in the nard. anyone want to come? hali, when are your days off that are also katy's days off?
i started writing to specific people,, so i spereated it all here. fyi.
tim, i won't be able to come to explosions in the sky, but when you return, i would like to have a heightened discussion, listening ses, or some kind of communication about your inevitably good experience. have fun.
colin, take one picture just for me please, and i am revising my take on your quote.
jillian, i appreciate you.
bexy, i miss you pretty often.
steph, i love you dearly and i am not the only one. and i want to see those shots, love...
to my bro, keep on growing.
to nigel, you will never know anything, not even what you know, so know that.
lalea, you are by far the strongest person i know, you are undeniably humble and sensible, you don't let pride get the best of you and i have yet to see you succumb to embarassment or mediocrity. i am ever amazed by you, you truly are brilliant.
emma, where the hell did you go? :)
bschlott, can't we ever just be friends, because that was the best time of my life.
katy from paso, i don't know if i could handle you in real life, but i'd sure like to give it a shot if our paths ever cross again.
jimmy, i really can never tell if i love you or i hate you, but hell, we went to formal together, so it must be love.
mom, listen, i love you so much, i hope you can see that.
dad, you must be immortal because without you i will melt.
jess, you are a constant in my life, sometimes there is distance, but it is always the same when we hang out, and i mean it is always easy. love you love your style, hate all those fucking assholes who can only appreciate you until they realize you are a real person, not just a beautiful idea. oh and hey, does your dad deal that bootleg whiskey, or is that just a family store?
hello again wrold. please excuse the short interuption. stream of conciousness man, that is all we are, a conned science stream. mind wonders wanders weary wary worldy traveling haggeling hasseling speaking or spilling words of long lost regret for past pities and passing pain, regret rounds corners and really-takes-the-edge-off-if-you-know-what-i-mean. images imagine idly and sleep succumbs to the sobriety of wake. a wake is left in conciousness by the un. or the engine. a girl dances in a dream atop the glass water or the sandy glass or the glass that was sand until the C. Number A-1 top choice meat eating B-52'd those deserts with enough nukes to change its chemical consistency. a glass parking lot. she skates across, dreaming of lulaby sounds in black and white and she used to love feeling the sand between her toes but now she has none. no toes. skating, skidding spinning wildly like fiery hair in hurricane winds. a natural disaster; or gods way of getting even. clean the slate the plate of scumb, suck thumb, words are numb. but my eyes are closed supposed. see?
i called four or five people today, trying to see them, putting my meager effort into being social. and it didn't happen and i didn't care. i mean i really really didn't care. i don't know what that means but i think it is a good thing to be content with whatever happens. i think this vacation has been a succesful one if it can be categorized as such. today i worked on my monologue for my audition on the ninth, i spent some time with each of my family memebers seperately and together. i got rock climbing stuff for chistmas (woot woot) and i talked to a certain boy that i hope will not blow me off again. i am trying to remember how to make friends. i never recognized it as a task before. but there it is. up until yesterday i was fearing returning to school, but tonight, tonight i look forward to it, and await it. i am going to do something right. i can feel it. i am going to be proud of myself, i am going to feel good about the work i do because i am determined to do good work.
my computer may be irreversibly broken. i will probably end up with a big old desktop because it is cheaper, and more reliable. i owe my parents money, i still have to create a few gifts and i am completely broke. i am going to work all next week, but hopefully will be able to at least take a day off to visit the greenbergs in the nard. anyone want to come? hali, when are your days off that are also katy's days off?
i started writing to specific people,, so i spereated it all here. fyi.
tim, i won't be able to come to explosions in the sky, but when you return, i would like to have a heightened discussion, listening ses, or some kind of communication about your inevitably good experience. have fun.
colin, take one picture just for me please, and i am revising my take on your quote.
jillian, i appreciate you.
bexy, i miss you pretty often.
steph, i love you dearly and i am not the only one. and i want to see those shots, love...
to my bro, keep on growing.
to nigel, you will never know anything, not even what you know, so know that.
lalea, you are by far the strongest person i know, you are undeniably humble and sensible, you don't let pride get the best of you and i have yet to see you succumb to embarassment or mediocrity. i am ever amazed by you, you truly are brilliant.
emma, where the hell did you go? :)
bschlott, can't we ever just be friends, because that was the best time of my life.
katy from paso, i don't know if i could handle you in real life, but i'd sure like to give it a shot if our paths ever cross again.
jimmy, i really can never tell if i love you or i hate you, but hell, we went to formal together, so it must be love.
mom, listen, i love you so much, i hope you can see that.
dad, you must be immortal because without you i will melt.
jess, you are a constant in my life, sometimes there is distance, but it is always the same when we hang out, and i mean it is always easy. love you love your style, hate all those fucking assholes who can only appreciate you until they realize you are a real person, not just a beautiful idea. oh and hey, does your dad deal that bootleg whiskey, or is that just a family store?
hello again wrold. please excuse the short interuption. stream of conciousness man, that is all we are, a conned science stream. mind wonders wanders weary wary worldy traveling haggeling hasseling speaking or spilling words of long lost regret for past pities and passing pain, regret rounds corners and really-takes-the-edge-off-if-you-know-what-i-mean. images imagine idly and sleep succumbs to the sobriety of wake. a wake is left in conciousness by the un. or the engine. a girl dances in a dream atop the glass water or the sandy glass or the glass that was sand until the C. Number A-1 top choice meat eating B-52'd those deserts with enough nukes to change its chemical consistency. a glass parking lot. she skates across, dreaming of lulaby sounds in black and white and she used to love feeling the sand between her toes but now she has none. no toes. skating, skidding spinning wildly like fiery hair in hurricane winds. a natural disaster; or gods way of getting even. clean the slate the plate of scumb, suck thumb, words are numb. but my eyes are closed supposed. see?