basically? just journalling because that last entry was too emo and pathetic for words...
last few days have been stricken with insomnia and general emotional instability. i've gotten probably only 8 hours of sleep total the last few days, thanks to the combination of traveling to dc for work yesterday and insomnia the likes of which i haven't seen in *years*. i wish i could figure out what causes it, really, i do, but i'm at a total loss. so here i am, almost midnight, and i'm still up even though i've been running on fumes all day. go figure.
on the upside, my car'll tentatively be done on tuesday. which means that tuesday is when i'll have a clue as to just what kind of damage my little lapse in judgment has done to my financial situation. on the downside, there's this apartment i actually kinda want, and was going to be perfect, timingwise, pricewise, everythingwise, but that suddenly the current tenant isn't going to be out of in time and it could be a whole other month before she leaves.
i am dying to go to california. DYING. like never before seen dying. i spent like, an hour at work today researching to see where i could go and how much a hotel would cost and how much a flight would cost and everything. and i've come to the conclusion that....there's no WAY i can afford it right now. maybe after my birthday or xmas, when i have a little extra money, i can start planning something. maybe a march or april trip. but right now? nothing. fuck, i'll be lucky if i can find a way to go to florida in october as usual, or to visit linds for a few days at some point sometime. i'm in shit shape, moneywise, yo. i know, i know -- it sucks for the girl living on the dime of corporate america to bitch about money. but the situation is grim right now. i need to find a way to fix my credit -- and i need to do it fast. because my loans and my car and my apartment are just going to be too much very, very soon with the credit cards factored in. maybe i *should* suck it up and take my mom up on her ridiculous deal where she'll pay off my credit card(s? i don't remember, i wasn't actually listening when she proposed it in the first place) if i stop drinking soda AND start losing weight (since she's so fucking insistent that the two are related....how many times do i have to tell her that i HAVE stopped drinking soda, for months at a time, and it just *doesn't help*?!).
hahaha. you know when i'm considering taking something from my mom (the indian giver to beat all indian givers...wait, is that a racist term? i don't even know anymore, yo, that's how just GONE my brain is tonight...) that it's time for me to just get some fucking sleep already. peace out, hombres.
mwah!
~a
on the upside, my car'll tentatively be done on tuesday. which means that tuesday is when i'll have a clue as to just what kind of damage my little lapse in judgment has done to my financial situation. on the downside, there's this apartment i actually kinda want, and was going to be perfect, timingwise, pricewise, everythingwise, but that suddenly the current tenant isn't going to be out of in time and it could be a whole other month before she leaves.
i am dying to go to california. DYING. like never before seen dying. i spent like, an hour at work today researching to see where i could go and how much a hotel would cost and how much a flight would cost and everything. and i've come to the conclusion that....there's no WAY i can afford it right now. maybe after my birthday or xmas, when i have a little extra money, i can start planning something. maybe a march or april trip. but right now? nothing. fuck, i'll be lucky if i can find a way to go to florida in october as usual, or to visit linds for a few days at some point sometime. i'm in shit shape, moneywise, yo. i know, i know -- it sucks for the girl living on the dime of corporate america to bitch about money. but the situation is grim right now. i need to find a way to fix my credit -- and i need to do it fast. because my loans and my car and my apartment are just going to be too much very, very soon with the credit cards factored in. maybe i *should* suck it up and take my mom up on her ridiculous deal where she'll pay off my credit card(s? i don't remember, i wasn't actually listening when she proposed it in the first place) if i stop drinking soda AND start losing weight (since she's so fucking insistent that the two are related....how many times do i have to tell her that i HAVE stopped drinking soda, for months at a time, and it just *doesn't help*?!).
hahaha. you know when i'm considering taking something from my mom (the indian giver to beat all indian givers...wait, is that a racist term? i don't even know anymore, yo, that's how just GONE my brain is tonight...) that it's time for me to just get some fucking sleep already. peace out, hombres.
mwah!
~a