In which a spectre rises from the Los Angeles harbour
Oh. Sweet. Powers.
Well. At least I got my wish for everyone to be more competent this week. However...
*shrieking noises intensify*
...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
No. Seriously. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
WE JUST GOT DRAZEN'ED.
AND I ONLY SAW IT COMING AT THE LAST MOMENT.
BIN-KHALID SENIOR LIVES.
(Incidentally, this is the reason for this week's title, and indeed for the icon. There has been a loooooooooooooooong running joke that one day Victor Drazen would claw his way back out of the Los Angeles harbour despite having been shot dead in it at the end of Season One. And yes, I realise Bin-Khalid Senior is a totally different person but THE CONNECTION IS STILL RELEVANT, OK.)
Well, I really shouldn't be surprised. Plus, the circularity of it all is terribly pleasing. And Melted Terrorist (shush, this is his name now) being alive really should have been higher up my list of theories back when I was trying to work out who the mole is.
INCIDENTALLY, we still don't know who the mole is. Except maybe we do. More soon.
First...
- I know I usually do these semi-chronologically, but I have to start by SHRIEKING THE ROOF OFF because MY TONY IS NOT GONE. I'd pretty much made peace with the idea of his involvement being over for the season, and then Carlos Bernard's name popped up in the opening credits and I just grinned like an idiot for a moment. We'll get to his actual involvement shortly but I feel it relevant to point out that I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW, and I am made even more happy by the fact that MY TONY IS STILL SAFE AND WELL AND AWAY FROM THE MAIN DANGER. And no, I haven't forgotten Point Nine. I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF POINT NINE. I AM THE SURVIVOR OF THE SHOPPING MALL, OF CHANDLER PLAZA, OF FIVE-THIRTEEN, OF FACESTABGATE. I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF POINT NINE.
10. I will not laugh in the face of Point Nine.
Where was I? Oh yes...
- This ep had tonnes of awesome Eric + Rebecca scenes. And I want it on record that I very nearly replaced that plus-sign with a slash because I am now starting to SHIP THEM and I am not yet sure if I find this ALARMING or AWESOME. It does not however detract from the AWESOMENESS OF THEM, and what a perfect team they make. I love how quickly Eric agreed to help Rebecca with her Big Damn Plan, and that lovely little sequence when he asked if she could get them into the armoury because "I'm gonna need a few things." Like a hacksaw, maybe? Maybe? *hopeful face*
- Staying with the awesomeness of Rebecca (I LOVE HER I LOVE HER PLEASE SPIRITS OF FANDOM LET ME KEEP HER), I was alarmed by how easily Henry spilled the truth to her when she told him John had been kidnapped. Maybe they should have foregone the whole torture-drugs thing and just faked something like this hours ago. Might have saved a lot of pain! Henry's weakness has ALWAYS been his son.
- And then Henry went to confront Dodgy Uncle, and got whacked in the face for the privilege. He cavorted with terrorists though so he can cry me a river. Starting to worry that Dodgy Uncle is more involved than first thought.
- Meanwhile, the Terrorist Vans make it to the Underpass of Doom and we get the big reveal on Bin-Khalid Senior, aka Melted Terrorist, and Emo Terrorist got to be SUPER EMO as he was reunited with his undead father. Not-dead. Although he looks undead. And Naseri got to keep being Mr Loyal Lieutenant Man, which apparently is a thing he likes to do. And then John decides to remember he's not actually an idiot and makes a gallant escape attempt. And OK yes it didn't work, but he did surprisingly well, and for one moment I thought he might actually pull it off. ALSO BIN-KHALID SENIOR IS ALIVE, WE SAID THIS PART, YES?!!!
- Back at CTU, Andy comes to see Eric and they share an adorable hug. Apparently everyone has chemistry with Eric. Also Andy looks SUPER CUTE with his hair all ruffled like that, and why is TOM not there to ADMIRE THE CUTENESS and maybe get growly because Andy hugged Eric and Eric left him handcuffed to a pipe one time and SHUSH THAT WAS BASICALLY THE FOUNDATION OF JACK BAUER AND BILL BUCHANAN'S RELATIONSHIP AND THEY WORKED OUT JUST FINE until Bill got dead and Jack got Russians.
I DIGRESS.
- The entirety of the scenes involving Nicole coming to CTU leave me nigh-on convinced that she and Eric aren't going to last. And that DOES make me sad, because they started off so awesome together, but now he has fallen down the CTU rabbit hole and I suspect he's never coming back. "You need this. You always will," Nicole says to Eric, and I'm afraid she's so right. It's been obvious from the start. It's pretty much the crux of both his and Rebecca's plots. And the only positive part of Eric/Nicole falling apart is that Nicole/Isaac might end up as a thing, which would be significantly better than Nicole ending up dead in Eric's arms in the last five minutes SOME PAIN NEVER STOPS HURTING YOU KNOW. The whole thing with the letter, and Eric running off to help Rebecca in mid-conversation, and then that last scene with Nicole and Isaac about "starting over"...yeah. It does make me sad. But maybe she will save Isaac in the process, and I find myself feeling happy about that possibility. Assuming one or both of them doesn't die horribly in the next two hours.
ALSO THERE ARE ONLY TWO EPISODES LEFT. AND THIS ALONE IS CAUSE FOR ALARM. AND IF THEY COULD HURRY UP AND ANNOUNCE A SEASON TWO/ELEVEN, IT WOULD GO A LONG WAY TOWARDS MAKING ME CALMER AND LESS CAPSLOCK.
- Now. NOW. MY TONY. Keith tracked down my Tony, right as he was about to disappear off with Biker Chick for their next mission. They seem to be operating as some kind of mercenary band, and right now it is hard to tell how legal this is, and furthermore I STILL do not know how my Tony got out of PRISON, or how he can travel around so easily on PLANES and the like despite having been arrested for TERRORISM AND A LOT OF MURDER even with some emotional reason BUT STILL.
...
- ANYWAY, Keith tracked down Tony, and of course Tony immediately drops everything to help Rebecca because they have Thing and Past and also TONY WAS IN YEMEN TOO, ARGH, HELP ME. (Does Eric know him??) I don't think Biker Chick was terribly impressed but so far she hasn't done anything rash so we will leave her be. BUT SHE HAD BETTER BEHAVE. Furthermore, this was the SECOND week in which I did not want to hit Keith in the face. Possibly he is mellowing. And seeing the light. Possibly. We shall see.
- And now my Tony is HELPING with his SECRET COMM THING with Rebecca so that CTU can find her. And, for the record, if this ends up with Tony going anywhere NEAR that building, it will break me. And it isn't even his CTU. But it will break me. Hard.
- The whole scene in the car with Rebecca and Eric was pure GOLD. I loved her whole speech on keeping secrets, and the concept of "what we have to do", and that discussion between her and Eric about the possibility of him joining CTU and Nicole's reaction. "She thinks I need this," he says. "Do you?" Rebecca asks.
He does.
- Also. Allow me a moment of shallowness for REBECCA INGRAM IN BATTLE-MODE, BE STILL MY HEART.
- Unrelatedly, the whole little sub-plot with Bomb Girl and the overheard words, and Andy and his Little Tech Minion finding out that it's something connected to the Director of National Intelligence, aka Keith's boss. And OK yes, he could be the target of something big, OR HE COULD BE THE MOLE!!! If the next episode ends with him on the phone to Naseri, I win the internet. OK, not the internet, because it's too obvious. Maybe a cake or something.
- NOW. NOW. THAT WHOLE FINALE SEQUENCE. It was awesome enough when Eric did that whole leaping out of the car thing to get the drop on the cops who were after them, but then things dialled up to ELEVEN when he and Rebecca made it to the Abandoned Stadium of Doom (not a warehouse for once, nice) and things were SUPER-TENSE whilst she was on the phone to Jadalla, and she managed to make Melted Terrorist and Ninja Terrorist actually let John go (he lives! Hurrah!) before walking out onto that pitch. And I was scared. I was so, so scared, and doubly-so when it turned out everything was drenched in KEROSENE and Rebecca had done the whole "don't let them take me alive" speech (sensible plan) and then she and Jadalla were staring each other down. And she was freaking MAGNIFICENT.
- And THEN Eric got into position and SHOT JADALLA (FAREWELL, EMO TERRORIST, WE MISS YOU ALREADY) and the pitch went UP and my heart STOPPED. And Eric was running and Rebecca was running and then FIRE and FEAR and Melted Terrorist screaming about his son, and then silence, as Eric frantically searched for Rebecca. And part of me was TERRIFIED he would find her dead, or hideously injured, and then his phone rings. "BIN-KHALID IS ALIVE!" Rebecca shrieks, and the line goes dead.
Smash-cut to Big Damn Clock.
Cue shrieking noises.
So now I don't know if Rebecca is INJURED or KIDNAPPED or NEITHER or BOTH and everything is on FIRE and MELTED TERRORIST is ALIVE and EMO TERRORIST is DEAD.
I NEED THE NEXT EPISODE RIGHT NOW, PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
Also I'd ask the universe to send help, but I think I'm long past it by this point!
Two episodes left. Two episodes left, and the 11pm cliffhanger looms overhead.
The big twist is coming.
And it's going to hurt.
Well. At least I got my wish for everyone to be more competent this week. However...
*shrieking noises intensify*
...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
No. Seriously. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
WE JUST GOT DRAZEN'ED.
AND I ONLY SAW IT COMING AT THE LAST MOMENT.
BIN-KHALID SENIOR LIVES.
(Incidentally, this is the reason for this week's title, and indeed for the icon. There has been a loooooooooooooooong running joke that one day Victor Drazen would claw his way back out of the Los Angeles harbour despite having been shot dead in it at the end of Season One. And yes, I realise Bin-Khalid Senior is a totally different person but THE CONNECTION IS STILL RELEVANT, OK.)
Well, I really shouldn't be surprised. Plus, the circularity of it all is terribly pleasing. And Melted Terrorist (shush, this is his name now) being alive really should have been higher up my list of theories back when I was trying to work out who the mole is.
INCIDENTALLY, we still don't know who the mole is. Except maybe we do. More soon.
First...
- I know I usually do these semi-chronologically, but I have to start by SHRIEKING THE ROOF OFF because MY TONY IS NOT GONE. I'd pretty much made peace with the idea of his involvement being over for the season, and then Carlos Bernard's name popped up in the opening credits and I just grinned like an idiot for a moment. We'll get to his actual involvement shortly but I feel it relevant to point out that I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW, and I am made even more happy by the fact that MY TONY IS STILL SAFE AND WELL AND AWAY FROM THE MAIN DANGER. And no, I haven't forgotten Point Nine. I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF POINT NINE. I AM THE SURVIVOR OF THE SHOPPING MALL, OF CHANDLER PLAZA, OF FIVE-THIRTEEN, OF FACESTABGATE. I LAUGH IN THE FACE OF POINT NINE.
10. I will not laugh in the face of Point Nine.
Where was I? Oh yes...
- This ep had tonnes of awesome Eric + Rebecca scenes. And I want it on record that I very nearly replaced that plus-sign with a slash because I am now starting to SHIP THEM and I am not yet sure if I find this ALARMING or AWESOME. It does not however detract from the AWESOMENESS OF THEM, and what a perfect team they make. I love how quickly Eric agreed to help Rebecca with her Big Damn Plan, and that lovely little sequence when he asked if she could get them into the armoury because "I'm gonna need a few things." Like a hacksaw, maybe? Maybe? *hopeful face*
- Staying with the awesomeness of Rebecca (I LOVE HER I LOVE HER PLEASE SPIRITS OF FANDOM LET ME KEEP HER), I was alarmed by how easily Henry spilled the truth to her when she told him John had been kidnapped. Maybe they should have foregone the whole torture-drugs thing and just faked something like this hours ago. Might have saved a lot of pain! Henry's weakness has ALWAYS been his son.
- And then Henry went to confront Dodgy Uncle, and got whacked in the face for the privilege. He cavorted with terrorists though so he can cry me a river. Starting to worry that Dodgy Uncle is more involved than first thought.
- Meanwhile, the Terrorist Vans make it to the Underpass of Doom and we get the big reveal on Bin-Khalid Senior, aka Melted Terrorist, and Emo Terrorist got to be SUPER EMO as he was reunited with his undead father. Not-dead. Although he looks undead. And Naseri got to keep being Mr Loyal Lieutenant Man, which apparently is a thing he likes to do. And then John decides to remember he's not actually an idiot and makes a gallant escape attempt. And OK yes it didn't work, but he did surprisingly well, and for one moment I thought he might actually pull it off. ALSO BIN-KHALID SENIOR IS ALIVE, WE SAID THIS PART, YES?!!!
- Back at CTU, Andy comes to see Eric and they share an adorable hug. Apparently everyone has chemistry with Eric. Also Andy looks SUPER CUTE with his hair all ruffled like that, and why is TOM not there to ADMIRE THE CUTENESS and maybe get growly because Andy hugged Eric and Eric left him handcuffed to a pipe one time and SHUSH THAT WAS BASICALLY THE FOUNDATION OF JACK BAUER AND BILL BUCHANAN'S RELATIONSHIP AND THEY WORKED OUT JUST FINE until Bill got dead and Jack got Russians.
I DIGRESS.
- The entirety of the scenes involving Nicole coming to CTU leave me nigh-on convinced that she and Eric aren't going to last. And that DOES make me sad, because they started off so awesome together, but now he has fallen down the CTU rabbit hole and I suspect he's never coming back. "You need this. You always will," Nicole says to Eric, and I'm afraid she's so right. It's been obvious from the start. It's pretty much the crux of both his and Rebecca's plots. And the only positive part of Eric/Nicole falling apart is that Nicole/Isaac might end up as a thing, which would be significantly better than Nicole ending up dead in Eric's arms in the last five minutes SOME PAIN NEVER STOPS HURTING YOU KNOW. The whole thing with the letter, and Eric running off to help Rebecca in mid-conversation, and then that last scene with Nicole and Isaac about "starting over"...yeah. It does make me sad. But maybe she will save Isaac in the process, and I find myself feeling happy about that possibility. Assuming one or both of them doesn't die horribly in the next two hours.
ALSO THERE ARE ONLY TWO EPISODES LEFT. AND THIS ALONE IS CAUSE FOR ALARM. AND IF THEY COULD HURRY UP AND ANNOUNCE A SEASON TWO/ELEVEN, IT WOULD GO A LONG WAY TOWARDS MAKING ME CALMER AND LESS CAPSLOCK.
- Now. NOW. MY TONY. Keith tracked down my Tony, right as he was about to disappear off with Biker Chick for their next mission. They seem to be operating as some kind of mercenary band, and right now it is hard to tell how legal this is, and furthermore I STILL do not know how my Tony got out of PRISON, or how he can travel around so easily on PLANES and the like despite having been arrested for TERRORISM AND A LOT OF MURDER even with some emotional reason BUT STILL.
...
- ANYWAY, Keith tracked down Tony, and of course Tony immediately drops everything to help Rebecca because they have Thing and Past and also TONY WAS IN YEMEN TOO, ARGH, HELP ME. (Does Eric know him??) I don't think Biker Chick was terribly impressed but so far she hasn't done anything rash so we will leave her be. BUT SHE HAD BETTER BEHAVE. Furthermore, this was the SECOND week in which I did not want to hit Keith in the face. Possibly he is mellowing. And seeing the light. Possibly. We shall see.
- And now my Tony is HELPING with his SECRET COMM THING with Rebecca so that CTU can find her. And, for the record, if this ends up with Tony going anywhere NEAR that building, it will break me. And it isn't even his CTU. But it will break me. Hard.
- The whole scene in the car with Rebecca and Eric was pure GOLD. I loved her whole speech on keeping secrets, and the concept of "what we have to do", and that discussion between her and Eric about the possibility of him joining CTU and Nicole's reaction. "She thinks I need this," he says. "Do you?" Rebecca asks.
He does.
- Also. Allow me a moment of shallowness for REBECCA INGRAM IN BATTLE-MODE, BE STILL MY HEART.
- Unrelatedly, the whole little sub-plot with Bomb Girl and the overheard words, and Andy and his Little Tech Minion finding out that it's something connected to the Director of National Intelligence, aka Keith's boss. And OK yes, he could be the target of something big, OR HE COULD BE THE MOLE!!! If the next episode ends with him on the phone to Naseri, I win the internet. OK, not the internet, because it's too obvious. Maybe a cake or something.
- NOW. NOW. THAT WHOLE FINALE SEQUENCE. It was awesome enough when Eric did that whole leaping out of the car thing to get the drop on the cops who were after them, but then things dialled up to ELEVEN when he and Rebecca made it to the Abandoned Stadium of Doom (not a warehouse for once, nice) and things were SUPER-TENSE whilst she was on the phone to Jadalla, and she managed to make Melted Terrorist and Ninja Terrorist actually let John go (he lives! Hurrah!) before walking out onto that pitch. And I was scared. I was so, so scared, and doubly-so when it turned out everything was drenched in KEROSENE and Rebecca had done the whole "don't let them take me alive" speech (sensible plan) and then she and Jadalla were staring each other down. And she was freaking MAGNIFICENT.
- And THEN Eric got into position and SHOT JADALLA (FAREWELL, EMO TERRORIST, WE MISS YOU ALREADY) and the pitch went UP and my heart STOPPED. And Eric was running and Rebecca was running and then FIRE and FEAR and Melted Terrorist screaming about his son, and then silence, as Eric frantically searched for Rebecca. And part of me was TERRIFIED he would find her dead, or hideously injured, and then his phone rings. "BIN-KHALID IS ALIVE!" Rebecca shrieks, and the line goes dead.
Smash-cut to Big Damn Clock.
Cue shrieking noises.
So now I don't know if Rebecca is INJURED or KIDNAPPED or NEITHER or BOTH and everything is on FIRE and MELTED TERRORIST is ALIVE and EMO TERRORIST is DEAD.
I NEED THE NEXT EPISODE RIGHT NOW, PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
Also I'd ask the universe to send help, but I think I'm long past it by this point!
Two episodes left. Two episodes left, and the 11pm cliffhanger looms overhead.
The big twist is coming.
And it's going to hurt.