In which I will not laugh in the face of Point Nine
I WILL NOT LAUGH IN THE FACE OF POINT NINE.
I WILL NOT LAUGH IN THE FACE OF POINT NINE.
I WILL NOT LAUGH IN THE FACE OF POINT NINE.
Also I have to do this one fast, as is tradition. The season finale is calling me, and I need it.
I need to see how this ends.
HELP ME.
SPIRITS OF FANDOM, HELP ME.
Really do need to do this fast as I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, I HAVE TO, I CAN BARELY BREATHE WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT. HOW IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME AGAIN?!!
And it's a shame that I do have to do this fast because I could write freaking ESSAYS on this one.
But we'll just stick with the following:
- ANDY AND KEITH, ALLIES AT LAST. Also where is TOM? But lovely to see these two finally working together. And I think this is the third week in a row that I haven't hated Keith. Maybe he's going to turn out to be one of the ones who surprise me.
- NASERI'S DAUGHTER. Holy GOD. The slow build of reveals about what had happened to her was agonising - first telling us she's dead, then no, she's alive and in an American safehouse, and then, THEN, it turns out that the whole plot was REBECCA'S IDEA?! ARGH! Damn you, you beautiful utilitarian! Damn you for being so perfectly-written! Damn you for making my heart ache! Please do not die!!
- John and Eric meeting. And butting heads. And rapidly teaming up. He found his Palmer. Oh God, he found his Palmer. And suddenly they're off to the freaking PENTAGON together (also HOW did they get changed so fast? Did they find a PHONEBOOTH?!) and breaking in to confront DONALD SIMMS (finally he has a name!) And I don't know what I love more: the whole plan, how gloriously Baueresque Eric was all the way through, or how so very quickly John went from goody-goody senator to MAN WITH A GUN. "This work's in her blood," John says to Eric, when they're en route, and he's so right. (And some part of him likes it.) Also that bit in the car where they were basically having the conversations they both need to have with their other halves? Glorious.
- Donald telling John the whole Naseri's Daughter Plan was Rebecca's idea. "You're supposed to call me a liar!" Donald declares. And John does, but not nearly fast enough. Because he knows this part is true. OUCH MY HEART.
- Also, earlier (sorry, chronology is not my strong suit today, I'm in shock) when Donald calls in backup and it cuts to TONY ANSWERING HIS PHONE, and I just broke, I broke, and the ONLY saving grace here is that he wasn't in on it from the start, it's just a job, and he's a mercenary, and they made him like this, they made him like this when they let his WIFE DIE and then let HIM DIE (sort of) and NO ONE CAME TO SAVE HIM. And I'm breaking inside because it's killing me ALL OVER AGAIN but in a different way, and I can still see the good in him, and I need to be right. I need to be right because this show HAS NOT YET BEEN RENEWED and the next episode MIGHT BE THE END, and if this one IS the end it will be THE FINAL END, and I need him to live. I need it. I gave this show FIFTEEN YEARS OF MY LIFE. I NEED IT.
- I'm not OK.
- The whole ending sequence, which - sensible hat for a moment - was an 11pm cliffhanger FOR THE BOOKS. Right from the start: Eric turning up, and that gorgeous shot of the farmhouse swathed in mist and bathed in moonlight. And Eric had taken his jacket off which means - due to his change of clothes earlier - he's now wearing WHITE. NEVER WEAR WHITE. NEVER WEAR WHITE, ERIC. I don't yet know whose blood he's going to end up covered in, but it is unlikely to be his own and I AM NOT OK WITH MANY OF THE OTHER POSSIBILITIES.
- Eric breaking into the safehouse. Such competence. And then, the icing on the cake, he actually speaks Arabic! And can reassure the poor terrified kid properly. And I know it's only a minor point but it made me so happy.
- John going morally-grey on Donald. Hot DAMN. "Cross the line," I kept whispering. "Cross the line, cross the line, CROSS THE LINE," and he sort of did, sort of. Which is OK because full-on shooting the guy might have been a bit much for his first go. But. But. Oh God, John. This changes everything.
- And then all hell breaks loose. Andy tells Eric there's a second team inbound. Tony's people surround the house. Back in CTU, Keith has to take out Daniel The Interfering Lackey by TACKLING HIM ONTO A COUCH WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING AND THROTTLING HIM UNCONSCIOUS. MANY POINTS FOR KEITH! And then back at the safehouse Eric is trapped inside with the poor terrified kid, and he and Tony start shouting at each other through the door. And there are TOO MANY GUNS and TOO MANY POSSIBILITIES and BOTH OF THEM WANT TO KILL THE OTHER RIGHT NOW.
- SMASH CUT TO BIG DAMN CLOCK HITTING 11PM.
And I'm not OK. I mean it. I'm not OK. And I've written this as fast as I can and now I have to go see how this ends.
And I look up above me, and it's not a star I see... it's the Sword of Damocles. And it has THIRTEEN engraved on the blade.
And I'd say 'send help'... but it's too late for that now.
So here goes. The season finale, yes. The series finale? I hope not.
Either way.
HIT ME.
I WILL NOT LAUGH IN THE FACE OF POINT NINE.
I WILL NOT LAUGH IN THE FACE OF POINT NINE.
Also I have to do this one fast, as is tradition. The season finale is calling me, and I need it.
I need to see how this ends.
HELP ME.
SPIRITS OF FANDOM, HELP ME.
Really do need to do this fast as I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, I HAVE TO, I CAN BARELY BREATHE WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT. HOW IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME AGAIN?!!
And it's a shame that I do have to do this fast because I could write freaking ESSAYS on this one.
But we'll just stick with the following:
- ANDY AND KEITH, ALLIES AT LAST. Also where is TOM? But lovely to see these two finally working together. And I think this is the third week in a row that I haven't hated Keith. Maybe he's going to turn out to be one of the ones who surprise me.
- NASERI'S DAUGHTER. Holy GOD. The slow build of reveals about what had happened to her was agonising - first telling us she's dead, then no, she's alive and in an American safehouse, and then, THEN, it turns out that the whole plot was REBECCA'S IDEA?! ARGH! Damn you, you beautiful utilitarian! Damn you for being so perfectly-written! Damn you for making my heart ache! Please do not die!!
- John and Eric meeting. And butting heads. And rapidly teaming up. He found his Palmer. Oh God, he found his Palmer. And suddenly they're off to the freaking PENTAGON together (also HOW did they get changed so fast? Did they find a PHONEBOOTH?!) and breaking in to confront DONALD SIMMS (finally he has a name!) And I don't know what I love more: the whole plan, how gloriously Baueresque Eric was all the way through, or how so very quickly John went from goody-goody senator to MAN WITH A GUN. "This work's in her blood," John says to Eric, when they're en route, and he's so right. (And some part of him likes it.) Also that bit in the car where they were basically having the conversations they both need to have with their other halves? Glorious.
- Donald telling John the whole Naseri's Daughter Plan was Rebecca's idea. "You're supposed to call me a liar!" Donald declares. And John does, but not nearly fast enough. Because he knows this part is true. OUCH MY HEART.
- Also, earlier (sorry, chronology is not my strong suit today, I'm in shock) when Donald calls in backup and it cuts to TONY ANSWERING HIS PHONE, and I just broke, I broke, and the ONLY saving grace here is that he wasn't in on it from the start, it's just a job, and he's a mercenary, and they made him like this, they made him like this when they let his WIFE DIE and then let HIM DIE (sort of) and NO ONE CAME TO SAVE HIM. And I'm breaking inside because it's killing me ALL OVER AGAIN but in a different way, and I can still see the good in him, and I need to be right. I need to be right because this show HAS NOT YET BEEN RENEWED and the next episode MIGHT BE THE END, and if this one IS the end it will be THE FINAL END, and I need him to live. I need it. I gave this show FIFTEEN YEARS OF MY LIFE. I NEED IT.
- I'm not OK.
- The whole ending sequence, which - sensible hat for a moment - was an 11pm cliffhanger FOR THE BOOKS. Right from the start: Eric turning up, and that gorgeous shot of the farmhouse swathed in mist and bathed in moonlight. And Eric had taken his jacket off which means - due to his change of clothes earlier - he's now wearing WHITE. NEVER WEAR WHITE. NEVER WEAR WHITE, ERIC. I don't yet know whose blood he's going to end up covered in, but it is unlikely to be his own and I AM NOT OK WITH MANY OF THE OTHER POSSIBILITIES.
- Eric breaking into the safehouse. Such competence. And then, the icing on the cake, he actually speaks Arabic! And can reassure the poor terrified kid properly. And I know it's only a minor point but it made me so happy.
- John going morally-grey on Donald. Hot DAMN. "Cross the line," I kept whispering. "Cross the line, cross the line, CROSS THE LINE," and he sort of did, sort of. Which is OK because full-on shooting the guy might have been a bit much for his first go. But. But. Oh God, John. This changes everything.
- And then all hell breaks loose. Andy tells Eric there's a second team inbound. Tony's people surround the house. Back in CTU, Keith has to take out Daniel The Interfering Lackey by TACKLING HIM ONTO A COUCH WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING AND THROTTLING HIM UNCONSCIOUS. MANY POINTS FOR KEITH! And then back at the safehouse Eric is trapped inside with the poor terrified kid, and he and Tony start shouting at each other through the door. And there are TOO MANY GUNS and TOO MANY POSSIBILITIES and BOTH OF THEM WANT TO KILL THE OTHER RIGHT NOW.
- SMASH CUT TO BIG DAMN CLOCK HITTING 11PM.
And I'm not OK. I mean it. I'm not OK. And I've written this as fast as I can and now I have to go see how this ends.
And I look up above me, and it's not a star I see... it's the Sword of Damocles. And it has THIRTEEN engraved on the blade.
And I'd say 'send help'... but it's too late for that now.
So here goes. The season finale, yes. The series finale? I hope not.
Either way.
HIT ME.