Talking Meme Day 9 - What holiday traditions do you do with your girls? (mrs_dragon)
January 9 - What holiday traditions do you do with your girls? Are these ones you grew up with or ones you made? ( 
mrs_dragon)
(Sorry this is a month late...)
I did not grow up celebrating any holidays except Chinese New Year. We did not celebrate Christmas, or New Years, or Independence Day, and it applies to Chinese holidays too, because we didn't celebrate Qing Ming, Fall Festival, or any of the other ones... :P On our birthdays, we were allowed to pick a restaurant to eat at (but since we never ate at restaurants the rest of the year, I had no idea where to go on my birthday...???!!) but we never received birthday presents. Looking back, my parents raised us very non-materialistic, for being chidlren growing up in International schools with lots of brats of diplomats and such... I dont know how they did it, but I am in awe of them and grateful for it. I don't think we ever felt deprived, because we would get gifts "just because"-- if my father was traveling overseas and saw a shell necklace that reminded him of my mother, he would buy it. If he passed a toy store on the way home from work and he saw something that he thought was cool, he bought it for us. But we did not get presents because it was a holiday or because it was our birthday. Gifts were never "forced" simply because it was Mother's Day or Christmas or whatever.
So where does that leave my girls?
CHRISTMAS TREE- WHEN DOES IT SHOW UP?
One holiday tradition that became a point of contention between Brian and I that we argued about was when the Christmas tree arrives at the house. Brian's German tradition is that the Christmas tree with all the "fixings" (ornaments, lights, and presents under the tree), does not show up at the house until Christmas morning. In other words, the child goes to sleep with a "normal"-looking home, and wakes up to see a fully-decorated, lit, tree with wrapped presents and he thinks this is the most magical, marvellous, amazing thing ever. Logistically, though, this means that the parents are up all night, especially when you have a daughter (ahem, Erika...) who doesn't go to bed until 9 PM, maybe 10 PM if she's very excited? Do you know how long it takes to decorate a 6-foot tree?!! Do you know how long it takes to wrap presents!?!
I argued there were a lot of other logistical problems with the idea. (1) Erika isn't clueless. She sees decorated trees at the bank, at her friends' houses, at school, at the local park. She asked questions, like why Santa failed to bring a decorated tree to our house before Christmas. She was 2 years old.
I also argued that when his parents did this for him, (a) they made him go to bed by 7 PM, and (b) his mother was a stay-at-home-mom. I AM EXHAUSTED by the time Christmas Eve arrives, honestly!!
When Erika was 2 years old, the Christmas tree arrived the morning of Christmas. I was pretty cranky that year.
When Erika was 3 years old, we went to a U-Pick Christmas tree farm, and she had so much fun picking a tree. We brought it home and we decorated it, but Brian did not allow us to turn on the lights until Christmas.
When Erika was 4 years old (this year), they cut the tree, and we decorated it, and we lit it!!! It was so beautiful and lovely to enjoy, pre-Christmas.
PRESENTS FROM SANTA
Brian is old-fashioned and likes the whole "Santa is watching you" Big Brother mentality, as well as "if you're bad, you get coal" punishment. It just is icky for me, since I didn't grow up believing in Santa, and I'm also a positive parenting type person. I believe in telling them that I love them no matter what they do, no matter what happens. I love them when they are good and when they are bad, I love them when they are nice and when they are naughty. My love and affection for them is unconditional.
I don't believe that Santa should bring them more presents for being good. I don't believe that because there are many poor children in this world who deserve presents and don't get it. I dislike the over-hyped, over-commercialized nature of Christmas. I think getting the idea of adults getting presents on Christmas is unnecessary, wasteful spending, and pointless. Brian says this makes me a Scrooge. :
Our tradition in our house is that Erika can only ask for two presents from Santa. The reason being (a) it limits her to asking for what she truly wants, (b) we say that it's because Santa has a lot of needy children in this world to prepare for, and Erika is a child who is well cared for, and well loved, and has a roof over her head, and her parents buy her lots of presents all year round. She truly understands this concept and even volunteers to give her presents away to the less fortunate, and (c) OMG this saves us so much money compared to kids who have 100 items on a wishlist...
I saw this post on FB about how parents should consider moving away from the idea that Santa brings the "big ticket" item, and moving towards the idea that the big-ticket items should come from the parents and the "socks/gloves/clothes" should come from Santa. This provides for more equity when the children compare what they received on Christmas with classmates. It explains income disparity and variations in gifts given. I like this idea and mentioned this to Brian.
I told Brian's mom not to get Erika too much stuff and she agreed. Then Erika ended up with like 10 gifts from Santa on Christmas morning?!!! *sigh**
mrs_dragon)
(Sorry this is a month late...)
I did not grow up celebrating any holidays except Chinese New Year. We did not celebrate Christmas, or New Years, or Independence Day, and it applies to Chinese holidays too, because we didn't celebrate Qing Ming, Fall Festival, or any of the other ones... :P On our birthdays, we were allowed to pick a restaurant to eat at (but since we never ate at restaurants the rest of the year, I had no idea where to go on my birthday...???!!) but we never received birthday presents. Looking back, my parents raised us very non-materialistic, for being chidlren growing up in International schools with lots of brats of diplomats and such... I dont know how they did it, but I am in awe of them and grateful for it. I don't think we ever felt deprived, because we would get gifts "just because"-- if my father was traveling overseas and saw a shell necklace that reminded him of my mother, he would buy it. If he passed a toy store on the way home from work and he saw something that he thought was cool, he bought it for us. But we did not get presents because it was a holiday or because it was our birthday. Gifts were never "forced" simply because it was Mother's Day or Christmas or whatever.
So where does that leave my girls?
CHRISTMAS TREE- WHEN DOES IT SHOW UP?
One holiday tradition that became a point of contention between Brian and I that we argued about was when the Christmas tree arrives at the house. Brian's German tradition is that the Christmas tree with all the "fixings" (ornaments, lights, and presents under the tree), does not show up at the house until Christmas morning. In other words, the child goes to sleep with a "normal"-looking home, and wakes up to see a fully-decorated, lit, tree with wrapped presents and he thinks this is the most magical, marvellous, amazing thing ever. Logistically, though, this means that the parents are up all night, especially when you have a daughter (ahem, Erika...) who doesn't go to bed until 9 PM, maybe 10 PM if she's very excited? Do you know how long it takes to decorate a 6-foot tree?!! Do you know how long it takes to wrap presents!?!
I argued there were a lot of other logistical problems with the idea. (1) Erika isn't clueless. She sees decorated trees at the bank, at her friends' houses, at school, at the local park. She asked questions, like why Santa failed to bring a decorated tree to our house before Christmas. She was 2 years old.
I also argued that when his parents did this for him, (a) they made him go to bed by 7 PM, and (b) his mother was a stay-at-home-mom. I AM EXHAUSTED by the time Christmas Eve arrives, honestly!!
When Erika was 2 years old, the Christmas tree arrived the morning of Christmas. I was pretty cranky that year.
When Erika was 3 years old, we went to a U-Pick Christmas tree farm, and she had so much fun picking a tree. We brought it home and we decorated it, but Brian did not allow us to turn on the lights until Christmas.
When Erika was 4 years old (this year), they cut the tree, and we decorated it, and we lit it!!! It was so beautiful and lovely to enjoy, pre-Christmas.
PRESENTS FROM SANTA
Brian is old-fashioned and likes the whole "Santa is watching you" Big Brother mentality, as well as "if you're bad, you get coal" punishment. It just is icky for me, since I didn't grow up believing in Santa, and I'm also a positive parenting type person. I believe in telling them that I love them no matter what they do, no matter what happens. I love them when they are good and when they are bad, I love them when they are nice and when they are naughty. My love and affection for them is unconditional.
I don't believe that Santa should bring them more presents for being good. I don't believe that because there are many poor children in this world who deserve presents and don't get it. I dislike the over-hyped, over-commercialized nature of Christmas. I think getting the idea of adults getting presents on Christmas is unnecessary, wasteful spending, and pointless. Brian says this makes me a Scrooge. :
Our tradition in our house is that Erika can only ask for two presents from Santa. The reason being (a) it limits her to asking for what she truly wants, (b) we say that it's because Santa has a lot of needy children in this world to prepare for, and Erika is a child who is well cared for, and well loved, and has a roof over her head, and her parents buy her lots of presents all year round. She truly understands this concept and even volunteers to give her presents away to the less fortunate, and (c) OMG this saves us so much money compared to kids who have 100 items on a wishlist...
I saw this post on FB about how parents should consider moving away from the idea that Santa brings the "big ticket" item, and moving towards the idea that the big-ticket items should come from the parents and the "socks/gloves/clothes" should come from Santa. This provides for more equity when the children compare what they received on Christmas with classmates. It explains income disparity and variations in gifts given. I like this idea and mentioned this to Brian.
I told Brian's mom not to get Erika too much stuff and she agreed. Then Erika ended up with like 10 gifts from Santa on Christmas morning?!!! *sigh**