Written All Over My Face (13/?)
Written All Over My Face
Author: alienanalysis
Title: Written All Over My Face (13/?)
Pairing: Kradam
Rating: R
Summary: After an explosive start to the new year, Adam and Kris are left having to make the biggest decision of their lives.
Length: 3,000
Disclaimer: Thisisaworkoffictionidontowneitheroftheguysmaycontainstronglanguageandcontentofasexualnatureblahblahblah.
Notes: Sorry, sorry, sorry. I know you guys hate these cliffhangers.
Previous chapters:
Chapter 1: A conversation with a chat-show shrink makes Kris finally realize the feelings he’d been hiding in the deepest, darkest part of his mind for months
Chapter 2: Kris searches for the right words to tell Adam his feelings, but it isn’t an easy task. How exactly can he tell Adam he wants to stick his tongue down his throat when he can’t even get his tongue to function enough to speak..?
Chapter 3: Still unable to find the right words to tell Adam, Kris decides to let their bodies do the talking during a seemingly innocent cuddle in Adam’s bed.
Chapter 4: While a blissful Kris dreams of a Disney-style happily ever after, in contrast Adam can’t help worrying that his perfect life is about to come crumbling down
Chapter 5: Kris is relieved when his family accept his relationship with Adam, but he soon learns that not everybody back home is as open-minded
Chapter 6: To put the press of the scent, 19E send Adam and Kris off on very public dates... with different people. Cue boredom, frustration, anger... and hot phone-sex
Chapter 7: Kris decides he is ready to face the music and go public but Adam has other ideas, leading to more trauma and more tears
Chapter 8: Kris’s reasoning doesn’t seem to be getting through to Adam and he admits defeat... but not before some hot break-up sex
Chapter 9: While a depressed Kris shuts himself away in the aftermath of the break-up, Adam has his own not-so-wise coping mechanism
Chapter 10: Adam wakes up from one hell of a crazy night to find Kris by his side... but Kris is in no mood for kissing and making up
Chapter 11: A trip home for Christmas makes Kris realize how loved he is, but for Adam the holidays are a far lonelier time
Chapter 12: Just as Kris is ready to move on with his life, a chance meeting with a familiar face changes everything
Despite the heavy rain, the hug seemed to last forever before Kris eventually pulled away.
He looked back at Adam who was now as drenched as he was, and reached up to stroke his teary face. ‘Are you OK?’ he asked, wondering why the hell Adam had been crying in his car alone on New Year’s Eve when he expected him to be out partying with all his new A-list friends.
‘Yes, well, no... well I guess I’m OK now you’re here,’ Adam responded, looking back at Kris with a fragile vulnerability Kris had rarely seen. It broke his heart to see Adam like that.
‘Tell me what’s wrong,’ Kris said soothingly, wrapping his arms around Adam’s shivering body and stroking his back.
Adam nuzzled his head into Kris’s shoulder and let out a long sigh. ‘Everything’s wrong without you, Kris.’
‘Hey, it’s OK, I’m here now,’ Kris insisted, hugging him tighter. ‘Listen, let’s go and take shelter so we can talk more.’
Still huddled together to keep one another warm, they made their way to Adam’s pool-house and stumbled inside, Adam quickly turning on the heater and grabbing a bunch of towels to dry off. They sat silently together on the couch wrapped up in fluffy towels, watching the rain falling against the window.
‘Why did you come back?’ Adam eventually asked. ‘I heard nothing for weeks... why now?’
Kris turned and faced Adam, not sure he really understood the reason himself. ‘I spoke to someone today who made a lot of sense. She made me realize that you have to work hard at relationships and overcome your differences. I realized I’d given up too easily before.’
‘We both did,’ Adam agreed. ‘It’s been such an intense time, with our careers so hectic and different people pulling us in different directions all the time.’
As Kris watched him speak, he became mesmerized by Adam’s mouth, eying the way he licked his lips nervously in between sentences. He’d missed those freckled lips so much...
‘Shhh,’ Kris insisted, leaning in until their lips brushed, before slowly opening his mouth.
He let out a groan as Adam pushed his tongue inside, having missed that taste so much. Soon his hand was scrambling to peel off Adam’s soaked T shirt, while he tried to kick off his own drenched jeans.
Lips still locked together, Adam clambered on top of Kris, his clammy fingertips pawing at Kris’s shoulders. ‘I’ve missed this,’ he gasped as he came up momentarily for air. ‘Let’s never fight again...’
Not wanting to think about fighting, Kris pressed his lips against Adam’s again, this time slowly and tenderly. He threaded his fingers through Adam’s wet hair and grabbed on tightly as Adam grinded his crotch into Kris’s, starting to get hard.
‘Wait,’ Kris spoke up suddenly, causing Adam to pause mid-thrust and look up anxiously. ‘Listen, Adam... does this mean we’re back together, like, for good... or is there going to be yet another tearful goodbye in the morning?’
Adam stared straight ahead out the window at the rainy back yard. ‘I don’t know,’ he replied quietly. ‘I really don’t know. I guess we’ll both have to make that decision together... but not now.’
Kris pulled Adam back into his lap and nodded in agreement. ‘Talking can wait.’
Taking that as a cue, Adam shuffled backwards and lowered his head until his mouth was just inches from Kris’s cock.
Kris closed his eyes and let out a moan as Adam’s fingertips wrapped around the shaft and slid up and down, making him harder and harder by the second.
As Adam took him in his mouth, Kris groaned in ecstasy, losing himself in the moment and forgetting any nagging worries at the back of his mind and any daunting prospects of what was going to happen in the morning.
Kris dug his fingernails into the fabric of the couch to steady himself, savouring the moment. He recalled the time he and Adam were living together and how he would receive that pleasure every day and every night. The last few weeks had been hell, lying in bed trying to recreate that pleasure with his hand, but just missing Adam all the more whenever he tried.
He opened his mouth and let out an extended moan as he released his load, mumbling Adam’s name and motioning for him to lie back on the couch.
Returning the favour, Kris straddled Adam’s thighs, his lips clamped around Adam’s cock within seconds.
‘Oh Kris...’ Adam mumbled, fingers in Kris’s hair as his head bobbed up and down.
The mumbling and moaning got louder, but Kris didn’t want to finish him off. He lifted his head to face Adam, eyes wide with expectation.
Adam obviously knew what he wanted, and fumbled across the room to his stash of condoms and lube left over from the poolside sex they’d enjoyed in nicer weather several weeks back.
Kris lay face down on the couch, his breathing increasing rapidly with anticipation as Adam returned and lowered himself down onto Kris’s bare skin.
He bit onto a cushion to stifle his moans as he felt the initial discomfort of Adam entering him, gently with his fingers first, then his fully erect cock. But the more Adam eased himself in, the more Kris began to relax, mumbling Adam’s name over and over again.
As Adam pumped in and out, Kris finally felt himself lifted of all the sadness, all the heartbreak and all the pain he had been feeling for the last few weeks. Adam may have caused all of that in the first place, but as Adam finally came with a loud moan, Adam had also made it better.
As if on cue, a loud bang erupted outside, followed by flashes of colorful light.
‘Happy new year,’ Adam said, cuddling his hot, sticky body up to Kris’s and pointing at the fireworks illuminating the skies outside.
*
Wrapped up together in a blanket, the pair walked outside to admire the million-dollar fireworks display one of their Hollywood neighbors was putting on.
‘I guess we have a lot to talk about,’ Kris sighed, staring up at pretty lights that had replaced the rain in the night’s sky.
Adam nodded, pulling Kris closer to stop him from shivering and rubbing his hand up and down his bare arm. ‘We do.’
Neither spoke for a couple of minutes, just the sound of the fireworks preventing a silence. Adam’s mind went into overdrive as he pondered the fateful few hours they had ahead of them and what the morning’s outcome might be.
‘It’s all about compromise,’ Kris finally said, breaking the silence. ‘I have to accept that my simple, carefree life will end the second we walk out in public together, and I have to be willing to put up with the press attention.’
Adam glanced at Kris’s face, noticing the fear in his eyes and knowing that Kris certainly wouldn’t find that very easy.
‘And you have to be willing to make sacrifices too.’
Adam nodded silently, knowing what Kris meant. Less partying with his new Hollywood crowd, more quiet time at home with Kris.
Not that he minded the prospect of evenings in together, not at all. But Adam had always loved going out, seeing friends, having a few drinks, being a bit crazy... it was part of his image, part of his persona, it was part of him.
‘I’m not expecting you to sit at home knitting every night,’ Kris joked, obviously reading Adam’s mind. ‘I’m happy for you to go out and see your friends and I’ll come with you sometimes... but some of the stuff you’ve done just scares me...’
‘I know,’ Adam nodded, realizing that he was almost twenty-eight and maybe it was time to grow up a little bit.
Kris reached out to hold Adam’s hand and looked him in the eye sincerely. ‘I know I really laid into you that time about your partying, and maybe I was too harsh...’
‘No, I deserved that,’ Adam insisted.
‘...but compromise is a two way thing. I know I’m more at home sipping beers at a dive-bar, but if it makes you happy then I’ll let you dress me in designer plaid and be your arm candy for your red carpet events.’
Adam’s lips curled into a smirk at the prospect of Kris Allen all glammed up and holding his hand as cameras flashed away. ‘I’m singing at a New Years concert at the Nokia Theater tomorrow afternoon and there will certainly be a red carpet and reporters there. If you’re serious about this, then...’
He stopped mid-sentence as he saw the fear return to Kris’s eyes.
‘Oh Kris...’ he sighed, cupping his hands around Kris’s face and leaning in to kiss him tenderly on the forehead. ‘...I would never make you do something like that if you were uncomfortable about it...’
Kris chewed on his lip as if he were in deep thought. ‘I’ll need to give this a lot of thought,’ he finally replied. ‘A lot. This is serious shit we’re talking about.’
‘I know,’ Adam agreed, feeling his heart sinking at the prospect of Kris not wanting to give things another go. The last time they’d ended things had been painful enough, but to go through that again..?
But as Kris had just said, this was serious business. They both needed to make a clear, joint decision. And to do that, they had to weigh up both outcomes evenly.
‘It’s all or nothing,’ Adam went on, his voice wavering. ‘Either we start tomorrow as a brand new year, united as a couple hand in hand, no sneaking around, nothing to hide... or we end things once and for all tonight, no going back.’
He felt Kris starting to tremble from under the blanket as he spoke, and he knew it wasn’t from the cold night air this time.
‘Before we make that decision,’ Adam went on nervously, ‘I have to tell you some harsh realities about what would happen if you do decide to stay with me.’
‘Go on,’ Kris urged, nesting his head onto Adam’s shoulder.
‘Firstly, once you’re known as Adam Lambert’s boyfriend, you’ll be associated with that tag forever... just ask Brad or Drake,’ Adam began.
Kris nodded silently.
‘The paparazzi will try and get photos of us everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Quiet beach vacations, buying condoms in the grocery store, arguing over taking the wrong turning off the freeway, you name it.’
Kris pressed his face into Adam’s shoulder, still not responding.
‘Also, we’ll get a lot of haters trying to split us up. Journalists in need of a story, homophobic bible-bashers, jealous fans... not everybody loves Kradam.’
Adam paused to stroked Kris’s back slowly up and down, knowing the picture he was painting wasn’t very attractive... but Kris had to be prepared for reality.
‘Our management were right, you will lose fans and your record sales could suffer, simply because you have a lot of support from folk in the South. Although many of them won’t give a crap who you’re dating, others will be like those folk we met in Target that day... or worse.’
Adam swallowed hard, feeling a sick taste rise up his throat. He knew what he was saying was painful for Kris.
‘You’ll be discriminated against by the gay community if you declare that you’re bisexual, and if you declare that you’re actually gay then backtrack later on, then you’ll get even more hassle,’ Adam tried to explain. ‘You’ll even get other gay guys hating on you, I know I do. I mean, most of my fan-base are female and married!’
He though he heard Kris laugh at that, but he couldn’t quite tell if it was actually a stifled sob. But as he felt his shoulder getting wetter, he had his answer.
‘The whole gay thing aside, it will be hard finding time to see each other when we’re working,’ Adam continued, feeling his own eyes welling up. ‘We both have our own solo tours coming up soon, then we’ll be promoting our next singles. Even when we’re both doing stuff here in LA, we’ll be tired. We’ll have our bad days. We’ll argue about what to do on rare days off.’
Kris slowly rose his head and looked back at Adam with teary eyes.
It took all of Adam’s strength not to cry with him. ‘I don’t know if I can handle us breaking up again,’ he confessed. ‘But I have to warn you of these things. I want you to be perfectly clear what it would be like.’
Kris buried his head in Adam’s chest and wrapped his arms around him, mumbling an inaudible reply.
Adam yawned, realizing it was getting late and he had the concert to attend the following afternoon. ‘Listen, it’s a big decision. Let’s not make it now. Let’s get some sleep. Things will be clearer in the morning.’
Kris nodded silently and followed Adam back to the pool-house, where he set up the bed and dimmed the lights.
Obviously exhausted, Kris was out like a light, arms wrapped around Adam tightly under the blankets.
But Adam couldn’t sleep. How could he sleep with such a big decision looming over them?
He lay still for the next few hours, playing over both scenarios over and over in his mind while gently stroking Kris’s arm.
He rested his cheek against Kris’s shoulder and stared up at the window where the early morning sunlight was starting to stream through, wondering if he would get any sleep at all.
Laying in Kris’s arms, he wondered if that would be the very last time, or the first of many more to come.
He would soon know.
The next thing he knew, Kris was shaking him to wake up.
‘There’s a limo in the driveway to pick you up,’ he announced in alarm.
Adam looked at the clock on the wall and groaned, realizing he hadn’t set his phone alarm and that it was already mid-morning and he had to leave shortly.
‘Go and tell them I’m running late,’ Adam instructed, yawning sleepily. ‘I’d better go inside and get ready.’
Kris headed towards the door, pausing as he opened it and looking back at Adam. ‘Does this mean we have to make our decision in a minute..?’
There was a certain apprehension in Kris’s voice that made Adam’s heart sink.
‘Yes,’ Adam nodded nervously.
As Adam made his way into the house to get ready, he tried to read the expression that had just been in Kris’s eyes. He wished he had the skills of the body language expert right then.
Inside, he was in agony waiting for Kris’s outcome. Adam knew what he wanted to do. He wanted Kris more than he’d ever wanted anybody his whole life.
But he couldn’t make Kris’s decision for him. There would be no begging or pleading this time, he would have to accept Kris’s decision either way.
‘Please Kris, please,’ he prayed as he clawed through his closet to find something to wear for what he hoped would be a big red carpet moment.
He heard footsteps coming up the stairs and froze, knowing the news - good or bad - was coming any second.
‘Kris,’ he whispered, again trying to read the expression in his eyes.
A trembling Kris walked towards Adam silently, his expression still not giving anything away. ‘I’ve made up my mind,’ he finally said.
As the limo beeped outside to hurry them up, Adam tried desperately to read Kris’s face, knowing that very soon he’d either be walking proudly down the red carpet in front of the world’s press with his hot new boyfriend... or putting on a brave face for the cameras alone while crumbling inside.
Next chapter >>>