It's that there are way too many words to express my anger and helplessness and rage and not enough coherence for me to express it.

Apparently I am not allowed to be in my own house alone with Bob ever.  This probably wouldn't be a problem if my mom wasn't suddenly up and attempting to sell it, thereby making me want to spend as much time in it as ( Read more... )

I have no dreams.
I have no goals.
I have no drive to do anything.
I don't know what I want to do.
I don't want to take the steps necessary to find out what I want to do.
I don't want to deal with the enormous fucking pile of shit that is what remains of my home life.
By my mother's own words, "nobody believes [me]".
I tell the truth and things get a ( Read more... )

Sometimes I really wish I had the guts to blow my fucking brains out.

After spending a bit of time watching a movie, I've noticed a tendency I have.  I usually think in numbers and patterns - I may not be good at all the crazy-ass math that people've thought up, but I've always been creepily good with patterns.  I pick them out of everything I see and create simple equations.  A good example of this, while sitting at ( Read more... )

Kenneth Branagh's 1996 production of Hamlet will come out, finally(!), on DVD.  Buy it.  You know you want to.

I had a dream about it when I went to sleep today.

My father came back from the dead to give me the DVD.  I'm not sure how I feel about this - as was pointed out (and I do realize it!) this is strangely appropriate considering the piece ( Read more... )