It seems the older I get, the more I'm morphing into Don Rickles.

My "first time" was when I was 27. The "last time" was when I was 31. I'm now 47. And people WONDER why I'm getting crankier every year?!?

Seems the older I get, and the longer I go "without", the bitchier and crankier I get.

Unless I'm gettin' laid, I don't want to hear anything more about "Valentine's Day"!