Chapter 9 Part 3B
Title: My Former Lovers and Her Daughter ~Chapter 9~
Author: Ha-chan and her recent craziness (akinoyama )
Rating: PG-15
Genre: Family Life, Romance, bit angst later…
Warnings: Unbetaed, AU, Hikaru and Yamada’re girl, Terrible English
Pairing: Yabu x Hikaru, Yabu x OC, Yabu x Yamada, Yamada x Yuuto, Yabu x Yuuto
Disclaimer: The plot
Synopsis: Yabu and Hikaru met after long years. And each other’s past connected them in somehow a way of sadness.
Summary: The real reason
A/N: It’s a request from stevenica . She wants a fic with Hikaru’s daughter. But somehow I don’t know why I make it into a multi-chapter one instead of a one-shot. Not to forget, thank you to my friend Hara-chan (blozzom_zone) for giving her permission to use her name as Hikaru’s daughter. I hope you like your role here.
Chapter 1 Meeting You Once Again
Chapter 2 Hurting without You Here
Chapter 3 Spending Time with You
Chapter 4 Wishing with You Again
Chapter 5 Making You Cry and Hurt
Chapter 6 Loving, Hurting, Protecting, and Sacrificing
Chapter 7 Staying and Leaving
Chapter 8 Losing People Dear to You
~Chapter 9 Getting One Last Chance~
Part 3
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3A
Hearing no words from Hikaru, Yabu decided it was his chance to say it. “Hikaru… listen…” He slowly started. “I swear I didn’t have any other romantic relationship before I didn’t find you at your graduation day.”
“But… I saw you and Yamada kissed!” Hikaru rolled her eyes. Just like she thought, Yabu tried to deny he had cheated on her. “What’s that if you didn’t have any relationship with her?!” She snapped as a result of the mixture of anger and sadness after recalling the thing that happened years ago. Did Yabu change to be a player at university? Or he simply did not mind if a girl kissed him? And if that’s true…… would Hikaru have a way to think about forgiveness.
“Then why didn’t you just approach, slap me then shout that you’re pregnant when you came to my university?” Yabu countered in frustration. He questioned why Hikaru did not walk in to him if she thought he was cheating on her. From Hikaru’s point of view, he deserved to be slapped, didn’t he? So… why did Hikaru simply leave him alone and do nothing?
“Your friends gave no time! They right away dragged me from your place!” Hikaru argued.
“Why didn’t you cry for help so I could hear you? So I knew you came!?” Yabu retorted, making Hikaru blinked. “It’s better if you’d do that, Hika. We could clear up all the things. Yama-chan probably kissed me in sudden. Or it’s just seemed like that from the spot you were looking at us! I swear I NEVER started to kiss other girl when I was still your boyfriend.” He paused, giving both of time minutes to calm down their minds. Now he hoped that he had had a friend like Doraemon who had time machine. With the time machine, he would bring Hikaru back to the day she came to his university, proving his words were not mere lies. He never started to kiss another girl.
“And afterwards, you could tell me that you’re pregnant… my child… our child…” He softly said with happiness on it. If Hikaru had told him back then, he would have been the happiest man in this world.
Hikaru went silent. What Yabu said was quite right. She might misinterpret the situation when Yamada in sudden tiptoed to reach Yabu’s height while pulling him down. When she remembered it again, the scene was just last in few seconds. But back then, she was really in a very confusion and desperation state, she even had not told anyone about her pregnancy. She wanted Yabu was the first one she could tell yet she was the one got a ‘surprise’. Moreover, Yabu’s friends right away did something to add the wound in her heart and ruin her trust to Yabu.
“But… it’s so hurting seeing you kissed and hearing the laughter from your friends at the same time.” Hikaru’s tears rolled down on her cheeks. “They also said you two always were seen together ever since the first day you started your study.” She sniffled. “I felt so dense and felt did not deserve for you anymore when I saw you and Yamada-san. They also said that you two… you two… had… had…” Hikaru gulped and bit her lower lip. She could not continue what she wanted to say. No. She did not want to say it.
“We had slept together?” Yabu tried to guess the unfinished statement. Telling Hikaru that he had spent a wonderful night with Yamada was the most effective and efficient way to break their relationship that they had cherished for those two years and six months. That’s what Yabu was thinking.
Hikaru merely nodded. She could not bear to say a word. That thing was the most hurting and shocking one she should face back then. The thought that Yabu already cheated on her even slept with other girl meanwhile she was expecting their child -alone-.
“Who told you those lies!??” Yabu hissed, standing up and clenching his fits. “You still remember their names?” It was obviously hard for him to believe his friends at university dared to say those things to Hikaru. He clearly remembered that he had already told of his friends that he was not a single free man. He had a girlfriend already whom he loved so much and he planned to marry someday. Deep inside his heart, he was hoping the names Hikaru was going to say were not his friends.
Hikaru closed her eyes, trying to find a name. “Both of them are bishounen… one tall… one isn’t… and they introduced themselves as Inoo or Chinen or similar with those.” Hikaru softly whispered after finding the names once they ever mentioned to her.
Yabu threaded his fingers on his hair. He was familiar with those names. “They lied to you, Hika.” He softly spoke. “Mainly Inoo. He loves telling lies. Since the beginning, they indeed wanted me and Yamada became a couple.” He explained what kind of people Inoo and Chinen were. They acted like matchmakers for him and Yamada back then. They never listened to him whenever he said that he already had a girlfriend on his hometown. They suggested that Yabu could have both of them at once. It was not a big problem for him -that’s what they always said-. When he was at university, he might spend time with Yamada meanwhile with Hikaru when he went to hometown and visited her. Yabu, of course, refused that crazy idea although it obviously was so tempting. Hikaru was too kind, sweet, and precious to be hurt like that. Hikaru was the most wonderful and awesome thing that ever came to his life. He really wished for staying by her side forever ever since Hikaru helped him long time ago.
Hikaru turned her gaze to Yabu. She looked there was a sadness and regret on his face. He did not look like a person who left her at first place.
Yabu’s eyes softened as he met Hikaru’s gaze. “Hika…” He called softly and Hikaru looked down. “Listen carefully… In my life… I only ever slept with one woman. And she’s none other than Yaotome Hikaru… She’s you.” He softly added while squeezing her hands then brought them to his lips, planting a loving kiss.
Hikaru pressed her own lips together as she felt the warmth spreading from her hands to all of her body. “You aren’t lying, are you?” She wondered. “You’re a man and you two also had special relationship after all. I don’t think you can resist Yamada-san. She’s so beautiful.” She bitterly said, suppressing her tears by closing her eyes tightly.
Yabu squatted in front of Hikaru. “Hika… look me in the eyes.” He softly ordered as he placed both of his hands on Hikaru’s soft cheeks, lifting her face up. “We can tell whether each of us is lying or not by looking into their eyes, can’t we?”
Hikaru merely nodded.
“So, open your eyes and look into my eyes.” Yabu gently instructed. “Then decide by yourself whether I’m lying or not.”
Hikaru slowly opened her eyes, revealing the puffy and rolling down the tears, and found Yabu directly stared into her eyes and smiled at her. The smile that used to be for her only.
“It’s true Yama-chan is beautiful and we ever had a relationship.” Yabu showed his agreement about Yamada’s beauty while wiping the tears. “But every time we had chances to go further, your face always came into my mind and erased the desire.” He said as he traced the outline of Hikaru’s face. It was not a lie. The face which came into his mind was Hikaru’s. Her face and her voice on those precious hours when he kissed and touched all of her. How could he do the same thing to Yamada meanwhile his mind always filled by the memories of the girl he thought had left him? What if Hikaru’s name slipped out from him? Obviously enough, he did not want to hurt Yamada’s feelings too since she was his girlfriend. “Besides, after six months I returned her love after two years remaining single, she started changing like I said.” Yabu bluntly stated. “The only girl I love back then is only you.”
Hikaru gave no response. She simply stared Yabu in the eyes and there was no indication of lying she looked. Yet, she still needed times to register everything Yabu just said. The fact he never cheated on her. The truth he loved her only. She knew Yabu was not lying to her but it felt like so hard to admit and believe. Two years remaining single. Those words dance on Hikaru’s minds. “Is it true, Kou? You kept remaining single for two years? You needed two years to start a new relationship?”
Yabu knew Hikaru still confused. Moreover, his friends who told lies were Inoo and Chinen. They really had an ability to make people trust what they said. By their innocent look, no one could ever think they were able to say those lies. They actually were Yamada’s closest friends so it was not strange if they wanted Yamada’s happiness at the first place, neither Hikaru’s nor Yabu’s. But, he could not believe those two said something like that to break him and Hikaru.
“Hikaru…” He said and pulled her to his arms again. “You should not have to listen to them. They just played around. I swear I never betrayed you.” He paused and caressed Hikaru’s hair, silently hoping it could help him to show his affection towards her. “You knew you’d get more painful afterwards for being all alone with your pregnancy, didn’t you? Then you raised her alone by yourself. Without telling me anything… without me beside you, no??? I’m sure that’s something uneasy. Moreover, you’re still so young. You’re just 18.” He paused. “You should have told me since the beginning… Hika.” He tightened his arms, feeling so sad and guilty for Hikaru and their daughter.
Hikaru did not retort immediately. It was true it was so hard without Yabu by her side when she was pregnant, when she gave birth and raised their daughter. She would never be able to deny sometimes she really missed Yabu by her side though just to see Chihara grew up. “Yabu-kun… you would not mind if you had child back then?” She hesitantly muttered.
Yabu smiled. “Why would I?” He softly asked back.
“You’re still so young too, back then. You had to study. Oji-chan’s last will is you become a doctor. Baby always cries in the midnights and it could disturb you. Besides… How would we live if no one of us worked?” Hikaru carefully spilled out her anxieties and fears. What if Yabu could not face the fact he would be a very young father? And even if he could, what kind of live they would go through when Yabu was a mere university student? Would they be good parents for their child?
“I don’t think you’ll ask my parents to take care of me and our baby. Or even we depended on oba-chan.” Those surely would break his pride as a man. And Hikaru knew Yabu had a high pride towards others although he did not show it when he was with her.
Yabu lifted Hikaru’s chin up, staring at her and caressing her cheek. “It’s true I was still young and I had to study… but those weren’t strong reasons for leaving you and the baby.” He smiled to emphasize the point he was actually happy by Hikaru’s pregnancy. “Otou-san raised me not to be an irresponsible man. He never taught me to abandon people important to me simply because I want to reach my goal either. He always said I could reach it without I had to leave them… and he believed I’d feel lonely when I reached my goal without someone I could share with.” He paused, slightly remembering his late father and what he had taught to him.
“At first… I don’t really get what he means… but after I got my degree and graduate… I understand. It’s really lonely and empty.” He sighed, recalling that his mother did not have time to see him wore his toga. “And although back then I still not fully understood, I won’t run from my responsibility. I’d take all of the consequences for making you pregnant.” He said sweetly while caressing Hikaru’s stomach as if she was expecting. “I’d try to find job.” He confidently added.
“Just perhaps… I couldn’t give you a wealthy life.” He muttered sadly. Looking for a job with good salary was not easy meanwhile he was a mere high school graduator. “We might only live in a small mansion with okaa-san and our money just enough for eating and saving a little. But I’m sure I still can be a doctor even though it will take more time because I have to work and protect my little family. I believe I can fulfill otou-san’s last will without I have to leave you just because you’re pregnant.” Yabu told the solutions for all Hikaru’s anxieties.
“You would not ask me to do things like an abortion?” Hikaru asked between her tears after registering what Yabu just said. Yabu would not leave her.
“ZETTAI NI NEVER…” Yabu shook his head, standing up then sitting next to Hikaru. “That’s your baby… my baby… our baby… I’m definitely out of my mind if I ask you to kill our future child. For God’s sake, Hikaru, that’s my own child!” There was a clear indication of happiness in his voice when Yabu said the words ‘our baby’. “You know what? When we made love back then… I did that not for simply lust…Hika… I was aware of the consequence.” He added soothingly. “Even though it’s just a little.” He sheepishly admitted.
“You’ll be happy by Hara-chan’s presence?” Hikaru for the last time looked for a determination.
“Of course, Hachibee!” Yabu answered without any hesitation you could hear from his voice. “Our child’s a proof of our love. Our child is our future. I believe when two of you are beside me I’ll always find the strength to live on… to make you two happy…” Yabu firmly proclaimed and embraced Hikaru again.
Hikaru cried harder. “I’m sorry… I surely am a bad mother for letting my daughter grew up without her father.” She asked for an apology because of her distrust and prejudice towards Yabu, she had made her own daughter lost her chance to get affection from her father. All the love and care that both of them that they would have got if Yabu had known it since the very beginning.
Yabu held him tighter, feeling all the sadness spread from Hikaru. “And I’m a bad father who didn’t try to find you earlier, making both of you through all the hard times alone.” It was not fully Hikaru’s fault. He had to be blamed too for simply drowning on his sadness and not try to do something to figure out everything. And just now… he finally understood… a long distance love really needed an enormous faith and trustworthiness to each other. And then was being added by an openness, frankness and courage to tell, to ask and to answer. “You’re not wrong, Hika…”
Hearing that, Hikaru cried even louder. “But… but… because of me… you and your mother had hard times… because of Yamada-san… moreover… Nakajima-sensei and Yamada-san have to die…” Hikaru frantically said. She had caused other people’s sadness. It was undeniable fact. If she was Chihara or Yamada, she would also blame her discouragement.
Yabu stroked Hikaru’s back. “That’s not your fault…” It was Yabu’s turn to comfort Hikaru. He almost forgot Hikaru’s heart was like a glass, not only reflecting her kindness but also the fragile side of her. Her kindness that made him deeply trapped in her love. The fragile side of her that she always tried to hide only made him wanted to protect her from anything which could harm her.
“But… if I had had faith on you and told you everything back then… they wouldn’t have died…” Hikaru choked, blaming herself for what had happened. Her discouragement to tell the truth not only separated Chihara and her from Yabu, it might give Yamada a chance to enter in Yabu’s life and drive her into craziness over Yabu and ended up miserably.
“Hika… dear… there’s also no guarantee they still alive now although I know everything back then… We never know when the time we will take in our last air. It’s one of the deepest secrets God makes to every human. So… don’t blame yourself for their death. Perhaps… they just have a bad luck in their lives…” Yabu assured Hikaru by his soft voice. He understood if he could be considered as a mean person towards Yamada or even Nakajima, his best friend, by his last sentences but he simply could not let Hikaru down. He tried to be realistic. There was no perfect guarantee they would not die. Besides, it was also Nakajima’s last will. He had to protect Hikaru and Chihara from now onwards. And it was only his first step to start.
Hikaru could only cry louder and louder. It had surely been a long time someone reassured her desperation, frantic, and sadness heart. It had been years since the last time she felt secure in someone’s arms, especially in Yabu’s arms.
“SSHHHH….SHHHH…. Hika… stop it… please…” Yabu pulled away and gently wiped Hikaru’s tears away. Like he had stated earlier, he did not want to see tears on Hikaru’s eyes. It was so hard to face her crying face.
For a moment they looked into each other’s eyes, feeling so dense not to trust and find each other and let the happiness they could have back then lost from their hands so easily. Even they indirectly caused a misfortunate to others.
“Don’t cry… please…” Yabu sounded begged and firmly held Hikaru’s cheeks. He then slowly bent down, shortening the gap between the two of them. He gently covered Hikaru’s soft lips with his.
As Yabu made a move to get closer to her, Hikaru immediately closed her eyes. She knew very well what was going to happen next. When her lips felt a pair of Yabu’s warm lips brushed against hers, she in an instant welcomed him. Without having to think twice, Hikaru kissed Yabu back and threw her arms around his neck, consciously bringing him closer.
Yabu’s hand then moved to Hikaru’s head. He threaded his slender fingers in her hair, taking the two of them as close as possible while deepening the kiss. He could see all memories when he took the sweetness of her while he closed his eyes from the first time until the last time few days ago.
Hikaru did not struggle when she felt Yabu’s tongue entered her mouth. She only arched her hands on Yabu’s shoulders. The kiss Yabu was giving her just like their first time, making her trembled from head to toes. It also the very first time she had a deep kiss after almost 6 years. And it was still Yabu whom she shared with.
Yabu and Hikaru, the two reunited people, had forgot what just happened and where they were at. They simply let their feelings took over themselves. The thing they all cared about was only showing how they really missed each other by letting their partner to taste them after a long long while. How they regretted all the happiness that they actually could share together for the last 6 years. They kissed and kissed as if there were no tomorrows. As if they were teenagers who hardly control their emotions. They eventually and really pulled apart for good, staring at each other without releasing their hands on each other while catching their breath.
“I still love you Hikaru.” Yabu mumbled, resting his forehead on Hikaru’s.
“I love you too, Kouta.” Hikaru right away replied.
“You called me what…?” Yabu in sudden widened his eyes, hardly believing what he just heard.
“Kouta…” Hikaru said it again.
Yabu pulled away to find Hikaru was looking at him as lovingly as ever. “Hika… you…”
Hikaru nodded and smiled. “Kouta… your name…”
Yabu wrapped his arms around Hikaru once again, smiling. It was the first time he did not have to remind Hikaru not to call his surname and also the first time Hikaru did not stumbled to directly call his little name. He thought it was a good omen for him, for Hikaru, and so was Chihara. “I-I…” He stuttered.
“Don’t say anything… Kouta.” Hikaru cut Yabu’s words as she also wrapped her arms around her love. “I’m so happy to call you like this.”
However, they never realized…. There was someone with broken heart was looking at them.
*****
Tsudzuku~~~
Indonesia, 2010 June 06
Behind the Story:
So… this part tells about their break up from Hikaru’s POV back then…
I'm being incoherent these days....so... I’m sorry for my failures in writing YabuHika’s kissing scene….. ^^ My first time to write a bit detail in that stuff… I think I should ask someone to write that part or it’s better if I didn’t give any detail… just simply wrote… ‘Yabu bent down and crashed their lips together.’ And the end… XDDDDD
Hope that part won’t disturb your reading…
To Hara-chan (blozzom_zone ) if I get good response from this kissing scene, I may consider not to change the ending of this story… :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
And Good luck with your test.....
Last… comments are always love……